help please what should i do

Need advice ..........a good one ........please help if u can

Hello sorry about the grammar and structure dyslexic

I am bi polar manic depressive adhd dyslexic ..........I knew this at the age of 12 and they started the pills........over time the pills effect wore off they increased them to a toxic point in my system and I adjusted again to them

since I was 15 I have smoked because it is the one thing that works it levels me out keeps me calm ( I can go out in public not be freaked out or a zombie ) I am 35 now in a manic high (I went out for my first time this year to my favorite place Ren fair I got ****** drunk ....I had a DD.....but a buddy gave me a vape pen from Denver they are like e-cigs but with THC and CBDs plus 64 other active chemicals) ......well I offered it to a undercover dea agent so now I am facing 5 years in prison ....I was trying to be a nice guy and share what someone gave me as a thank u now I am facing prison

so I am freaking the hell out I got rid of all my stuff and trying to start seeing the doctors again (turn back into a pill zombie) but I have no choice the state I live in does not see it as a medical treatment for any of the stuff only dying ppl and cancer ..............leaving is no longer a choice with this charge over my head and smoking is no longer a choice I can afford anymore

So here my sets of ?s please weight in
1 should I commit myself and have them start messing with the doses and pills like that or should I go for outpatient treatment (this will be 2 weeks at least before can do......hospital gave me something really strong until I can ) ........insurance is just going active so have to wait
2 should I tell the doctors the blunt truth that the pills they put me on do not work ........they will alter the pills to something stronger and I am a bigger zombie
3 should I ask to be permit committed for the rest of my life as my choice always seem to get me in deep trouble with the world I live in
4 at this point it has been 23 years of crap...should I ask them to ECT my brain fry out all those old form ones and see if the new ones allow me to live normal
5 are there any major new pills for bi polar or is it all the same zombie inducing stuff .........is there something i should ask to try

Last bit of history.....Been in a mental ward for 9 months ......done all kinds of treatments and therapies.......been in trouble most of my life and know the court system well from my impulsive acts (as u can see with what got me to this point) but i never done anything to harm anyone

i used spell check on Microsoft word....my responses will be worst .....thanks for the help....op please allow this or tell me what i need to change to get some help

in the twenty years you have not been medicated, drugs have changed a lot. there are many effective drugs for treating bipolar that do not turn you into a zombie. you just have to be persistent in finding the right mix. it took me nearly three years to find the right meds for me that totally stabilized me without side effects. anything I didn't like, I insisted my drs change it. they did not like changing my meds so often and wanted me to stay on meds longer to see what happened but I refused. my persistence paid off. you are being a bit catastrophic and using the worst case scenario in your thinking. I think starting with outpatient will be sufficient unless you feel you are a danger to yourself and others then you need to go inpatient until you are stabilized.

Not sure you would be admitted unless suicidal. Or hurt self. Don't think anyone is committed for life any more. Perhaps you were a little pessimistic at the time written. I hope you feel better and can get your medication straighten out. Take care and be safe.