not sure where i am

I have been out of work since august with no plans to return at this time. Since then I have been all over the place with my bipolar. I thought I was getting in a better place with my depression but now I can't tell where I am. I get agitated easily. My energy has been improving which I am not sure where I will end up with that. I do not think i can make rational decisions at this time. We increased my seroquel which has helped with my sleep but still do not sleep through the night. I have terrible anxiety when in leave the house I went out to do errands today and i can not get my anxiety under control. I am on neurontin which I can not tell if it helps. I have vistaril which does not help. I have not been able to try bus par yet. I have tried deep breathing relaxing music and distraction nothing is working. I am also not sure if I am starting to go into a manic phase. It would almost be welcomed. Any advice would be welcomed.

Distraction and activities are typically only as good as a person allows them to be. For mine to work, I have to buy into the notion they will work. Meditation, yoga,music, exercise, and various activities outside help me. I recall some information about dr deegan. Think I spelled the right and things she called personal medicine. It is things we can do for ourselves. Walk, cook, behaviors. Perhaps this is something that would help. I use DBT tools - please, give, accept, observe, and others. Hope this helps. They don't work all the time, but it helps.

I am trying. Have therapy Wednesday and hope she can help me before I end up in a full blown episode. My Dr is off this week. Do not want to end up back in the hospital.