Well I did it again after saying no way I won't do it and promising my family and the psychiatrist in the hospital and psych nurse I wouldn't. I went through hell not sleeping, oh it was miserable. But then I started feeling better and cut out risperdal. I do that bc of the weight gain. I've tried the weight neutral meds and they give me really bad akathasia. I would have no problem taking risperdal if it wasn't for the weight gain.

But I was going through extreme fatigue and body aches. I thought at first it was from over doing it the other day. But I started back with the risperdal and don't feel as tired and I'm hurting less.

So anybody have any suggestions on how to stop this? Also any experiences with messing with meds over and over again and regretting it and saying never again?

[~Christina]

To stop it ? Well stop fooling with your meds on your own.. Talk to your Pdoc about any other options you haven't tried. Maybe you just need a lower dose? Or an add on meds to counteract the problems?

Talk to your Pdoc and be honest about any and all problems your having ? "Most" pdoc's advise against the "on and off" stuff as it can cause the medication to become less effective.

It's hard bc being honest with her just makes her mad. But I'm thinking about trying a lower dose of latuda and seeing if that will help. I was on 80 mgs and that was too high I think. I don't see her for a month and a half. But I will do my best at not messing with them until then.

[~Christina]

If your Pdoc gets mad because your honest about what is going on, I suggest your find a new pdoc.

[Rick7892]

Hi, I have messed with my BP meds, too.

I have also been in AA for alcoholism and saying "never again" is commonly said after each episode of drinking again even though the results are bad. Admitting deeply to my innermost self that I am an alcoholic helped me accept that even though I can be sober for a while and feeling better that I am still an alcoholic and I can expect the same bad results if I forget I am an alcoholic and drink again. For me and others, accepting that and doing something about alcoholism, such as AA for me, has helped keep me sober for over 20 years.

Inspite of sobriety in AA, some days I resist or forget that I have BP that needs to be treated with meds, self-help, or support because I evidently still have not fully accepted it. With getting sober, it sometimes takes many times of in and out of sobriety with bad results each time before one fully accepts it and can stay sober for long periods of time. Though I know this intellectually from my experience with AA, I sometimes have a hard time applying this also to BP.

But BP meds are also more complicated than sobriety from alcohol because meds have side effects that sobriety does not. The med side effects bother me sometimes, but remembering that I am BP helps... Seeking alternative meds or alternative doses to reduce side effects may help.

Sorry I don't have any better ideas and my experience may not be helpful at all.

Good luck on your journey!

Originally Posted by ~Christina

If your Pdoc gets mad because your honest about what is going on, I suggest your find a new pdoc.

Well she's just a psych nurse. I'm afraid to get a new on bc they might be worse. They are state employees and overworked and underpaid. She's the best one, I guess everyone wants her. But she's not that great. I only get 15 mins with her and its just not enough time and I only see her every month and a half. It's the best I'm gonna get on Medicaid unfortunately.

[~Christina]

What makes her the "best one" if she gets mad at you instead of helping you ? If she is not helping you why not try someone " not the best" and I imagine you might just be taken care of a lot better.

Regardless of your insurance coverage, You deserve treatment not anger. I would see the most brand new nurses.. Why? They arent burned out and more likely to actually help you.

[Blitter2014]

I would also be making sure you get the most out of your 15 minutes by having everything written down concisely. Side effects, overall mood, what you want etc. It might save you some time bringing her up to speed. Also next time you see your nurse, can you have a backup plan in place...like if this happens then change this, if that happens change that - so your not waiting 6 weeks to make adjustments?

I agree with Christina, you have nothing to loose by changing nurses. A fresh perspective on an old problem is always a good thing. Do you have the option of changing and then coming back if the need be?

I wish you well.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

What makes her the "best one" if she gets mad at you instead of helping you ? If she is not helping you why not try someone " not the best" and I imagine you might just be taken care of a lot better.

Regardless of your insurance coverage, You deserve treatment not anger. I would see the most brand new nurses.. Why? They arent burned out and more likely to actually help you.

Well I'm scared to do that bc I had a newer one and she wouldn't let me take anything else for sleep other than seroquel and I gained 50 lbs on it. But I was new with meds then so maybe now that I know more about meds I might have better luck then them just pushing certain meds on me. Idk though I'm not gonna make any rash decisions, I need to think k about it..

But I feel like I'm being bullied by you and I won't put up with that. That's why I don't post here, some really mean bullies on here and I prefer a gentle approach and I deserve that...

Originally Posted by Blitter2014

I would also be making sure you get the most out of your 15 minutes by having everything written down concisely. Side effects, overall mood, what you want etc. It might save you some time bringing her up to speed. Also next time you see your nurse, can you have a backup plan in place...like if this happens then change this, if that happens change that - so your not waiting 6 weeks to make adjustments?

I agree with Christina, you have nothing to loose by changing nurses. A fresh perspective on an old problem is always a good thing. Do you have the option of changing and then coming back if the need be?

I wish you well.

We've tried having a backup plan and she said she's done with that bc I messed with my meds. She won't do anything over the phone either now.

I might ask to change, I'm just afraid to.

I don't think I have the option of changing and then going back, I can ask though...

[Victoria'smom]

I get Medicaid. My former Dr had me on walk in bases. They can legally see you every week. Are you in therapy?

I'm in between therapy. Well not in my state. She says to me when I leave I will see you in a month and a half. Even when I've been bad off she tells me that's all she has. Also in Washington u barely ever can find a psychiatrist. It's mainly psych nurses. Look it up in my state if u don't believe me.

I would put a. Link up for you but I can't do it I'm just on a kindle and I don't know how to.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by sunshine1995

Well I'm scared to do that bc I had a newer one and she wouldn't let me take anything else for sleep other than seroquel and I gained 50 lbs on it. But I was new with meds then so maybe now that I know more about meds I might have better luck then them just pushing certain meds on me. Idk though I'm not gonna make any rash decisions, I need to think k about it..

But I feel like I'm being bullied by you and I won't put up with that. That's why I don't post here, some really mean bullies on here and I prefer a gentle approach and I deserve that...

Why in the world would you think I am being a bully to you? I thought I was offering advice. Im sorry you feel this way and I will stay very far away from your posting.

I wish you the best anyway

[THE16THDOCTOR]

I was in risperdal too. My dr took me off bc of the weight gain. I'm on lamactil and lexapro now. I personally don't handle atypical antipsychotics well. The akathisia is too much to tolerate its excruciating for me or I imagine anyone. I have messed with my meds before. I've lowered them raised them without asking my dr. I learned the hard way by how I feel after that it takes me weeks to level out. I have a med combo that works for me, not perfect but well. I hope you find something. It stinks that the meds don't work the same for everybody. It's all trial and error.

[Victoria'smom]

Washington medicaid pays for 1 visit a day for medication management on an out patient basis. I think your psychiatrist is over booked or doesn't realize how much you struggle.

The department limits medication management services to one per day, but this service may be billed by psychiatrists and psychiatric ARNPs in conjunction with the diagnostic interview examination, or when a psychiatrist or psychiatric ARNP performs medication management services on the same day as a different licensed mental health practitioner renders another billable mental health service; and
(iii) The mental health services must be provided by a psychiatrist in an outpatient setting.

[Curious651]

Sorry to say from what I am reading, you seem to be having trouble standing up for your self. Perhaps an advocate would help you. No one can make you do crap unless you are in the hospital involuntary. If she gets mad, take someone with. I would imagine she is busy, but you are a person and so is she. I am sure she would not want someone treating her bad. Starting and stopping meds is somewhat synomonous with BP. I am sorry , we all get tired at times of taking things. That is not saying I promote or even agree with not taking the meds. Just is. Hope you can find some support.

[ohjustchillin]

If she gets angry, it's most likely just because she wants you to feel better and be healthy, and she knows that this isn't helping you at all. I've messed with my medicine before, too. And it was hard for me to stop and just stick to the prescribed amount, but I can feel the difference. I'm a lot more balanced when I stick to the instructions. I hope all goes well with figuring out your medicine.