rock bottom

Well I have hit rock bottom. I am going today to see if I can find a bed in a homeless shelter. I have totally messed my life up. I would just end it but I don't want my son who is bipolar to see it as an option at least I can hold onto that thought for now. I have no one left in my life willing to help. Can't believe that in July I had a career and a life now it is all gone. I just hope I can keep holding on I know it is going to get harder. I have always needed control now I have lost that. I have long since made a plan if it gets unbearable but keep on hoping for strength sorry for rambling.

Hello jack123: I'm so sorry to hear your life has taken such a nosedive. I do, however, want to applaud your determination to not try to end your life so your son comes to see this as a viable alternative. Having made several attempts myself over the years, I have done a fair amount of reading with regard to suicide. And, it seems to be the case that, when one member of a family or group suicides, it does tend to give other family or group members permission to do the same.

I see you are a nurse(?). I don't know what happened that you lost your career. But I would think jobs in the field of nursing must be fairly plentiful, unless you're living in a small town or rural area. It is certainly possible for a person who is bipolar to have a successful career. In particular, I think about Kay Redfield Jameson with whom you may be familiar. Perhaps you have not been able to find the right medications & / or therapy services. Of course I don't know about any of this. I'm just speculating here. I hope, whatever your circumstances are, you will be able to recover your previous stability. My best wishes to you.

I'm so very sorry things have gone to hell so fast... The fact that you can see the situation your in and even tho a homeless shelter is probably the last thing you want, you know that you need it until your back on your feet... That takes courage! So cut yourself a break.

My Daughter is Bipolar also and my T has reminded many times that if I were to "check out" that it would increase the chance of my daughter making the same choice by 50% .. So that is what keeps me motivated.

Are you hooked up with your local mental health services? You need treatment of course but you can also get help from a case worker they are the go to people in finding resources that will help you ...

Just an option to toss out there many elderly or physically/ mentally challenged people need help 24/7 and are looking for live in help, which would take care of housing and food to , plus pay of some sort..

I hope something turns around very quick for you

Thanks. I am not able to nurse at this time. My dr knew it would come to this for me but I kept trying until it almost ended my life. I am hopeful that maybe there will be someone at the shelter that can give me some guidance in which way to turn to get back on my feet. I feel like this is my lowest point in my life but I am going to keep trying. I have a great psych dr and a new therapist whom I like. Hopefully we can get meds straight so I will feel better. Thanks for the support

I am sorry to hear how things are for you at the moment. You're not in a good situation right now and that's quite triggering. You might not be able to work right now, but that doesn't mean that somewhere, sometime down the line, you can't become stable and functioning to your true capacity. I'm glad that you seem to have good mental health practitioners helping you through this tough time.

Be well and know that things can change.

All I can say is I my heart goes out to you, and I wish you the best.

Hello jack, I know how you are feeling. I became homeless in November of 2008, and it was a bit more than two years before I was stably housed again. If you can, check in your area to see if there are any transitional housing facilities. Unlike homeless shelters, these are designed and meant for long-term stay (up to 2 years.) I know how horrible the feeling of losing control is, but you have to keep holding on. Do whatever you can to continue to receive medical care (there are lots of programs that can help; you just have to be persistent to find out about them) and hold on to the hope that things will improve. They will, in time, and meanwhile you have to get through each day as it comes.

Thanks everyone. No my first night was not what I am used to but it was bearable. I have a couple of guys helping me with the ins and outs. Who and what to avoid. No one ever said life would be easy. I will keep on trying.

I'm an RN (still licensed) who lost my career to bipolar. I'm also about to become homeless (have to move in with my son) so you have my sympathies.

Have you thought about filing for disability? I finally did in August after my pdoc brought it up.....he once said he would never sign off on disability papers for me, but after I lost my third job in 15 months, he changed his tune and now he's going to help me. I would much rather be able to work, but at my age (55) it's hard to find a job even under the best of circumstances, and being sick makes it even more difficult.

I don't have any words of wisdom, seeing as how I'm pretty much in the same boat except for having a son willing to take my husband and me in. I just wanted you to know that I hear you and know something of how it feels to "have it all" so to speak, and then lose it all. Wishing you peace.

I have filed for disability. My dr was ready months ago but I wasnt. I know that God has a plan but it is certainly hard to see right now. Hopefully it won't take too long to get out of here. This is not where I would want to see anyone in. Good luck to you with your disability. I started with a lawyer because I couldn't handle that stress either. Also nursing is all I know and I an 53 so really not wanting to start over with college again.