[ShiningGirl]

Do you look at them as poison? Do you hate the pill crapshoot? Do you believe bipolar can be effectively managed without them and have you witnessed this firsthand? If so, what steps have you taken to make it happen?

I hate being on medication. My cocktail is finally a good one, after years of suffering from both horrid side effects and the end result of meds that just plain didn't do their job. . I am stable, probably the most stable I have ever been, and despite seeing that continuing to take my meds instead of stopping them like I did so many times before is the way to go, I hate that I have to take something - so many things - to feel, think and behave in a "healthy" way. I'd love to be able to swear off meds and continue to be in a good place. It's not possible though, right? Or is it?

[Crazy Hitch]

If you asked me that question a year ago and during the year I would have said nope medication sucks and does nothing for you.

Finally feel like I'm on the right cocktail of meds and that it is working for me. It's part of my safety net but it's not everything that keeps me well. I still rely on my family and network with my T and pdoc.

I went off my meds once a few years ago. Wasn't a happy ending.

Be well.

[~Christina]

I know people that are med free and doing well, yes they still deal with the ups and downs, They have learned how to surf the waves, and often just hold on really tight.

Deciding to try med free comes with huge amounts of work on yourself , learning coping skills, being self aware of your emotions and catching a episode coming and putting into place all the skills you have to help you surf through the episode in more or less one piece.

I don't think one way or the other is the best choice . It's a personal choice. I am down to my last med tapering off and will be med free..I have worked for almost a year now getting myself ready for it.. Will it work ? Hopefully ..

There's nothing wrong with looking at all your options. Meds are great for many people, same as Med free is great for many people.

Welcome to PC

[HALLIEBETH87]

Everyone is different. In that, I believe everyone needs different help for their illness. I have done the med route off and on for years. More often, they haven't helped. But the last 7 years I have been taking them most of the time. In January, I completely stopped all my meds because I felt good and thought it was the right thing to do. No. Mania was fun and then I crashed and burned. The last two years have been horrible for me. Up and down nonstop. I have been off and on so many different types of meds, as well as having diagnosis changes.

For me? I have come a long from where I was earlier this year but Im still not well. Whats helping is having a good Dr I trust and seeing a therapist as well as recently joining a local DBSA group for peer support. All of this is helping me and my Dr and I are already in talks about taking off the lamictal once Im doing a little better. I have rapid cycling and I haven't gone too long into between mood shift the last two years. This last month has seemed to be a bit better to me.

We're all different...something that works for someone else doesn't mean it will for another. My best friend is med-free and right now hes on tour with Breaking Benjamin again doing guitar teching and stage managing. He couldn't have done that a few years ago. You never know!

I think we just have to always strive to do better for ourselves!

Yes, I look at them as poison. I also know that I have never been able to pull myself out of a deep dive without them, or settle down from ups that have caused havoc. And my cycles are too long to wait out. This last one has been more than a year and I tried everything in the book to rally without meds.

Even knowing all this, I am still trying to build up alternative supports to one day replace meds or at least reduce them. I hope that I am wise enough that, if I do go off meds, I recognize the signs and get back on them before I let it get this far again. Even my naturopath, who specializes in mental health, says that nothing she does can work as quickly and effectively as medication; but, in the long run, what she does may be able to replace them. We'll see. There are no easy answers and everyone is so very different in how she responds.

[Victoria'smom]

I've given my intelligence, my body, and subtracted years off my life to medicine. I'm lucky enough that my 'side effects' are actually on purpose. I hate them! I gag them back up every night. I don't think they help they just change things but everyone less concerned with the changes it makes. I'm safer around my son and I guess that's what counts but it wouldn't matter if my depression medication keeps me active enough to purposely take my life.

What am I doing to change it? I'm stuck taking meds until my son is grown and I'm no longer with my husband. I'm going back to therapy and all the normal calm healthy lifestyle that helps but i don't see me being 'allowed ' off meds for a very long time.

[LastQuestion]

I think going off medication can be done so long as one understands not only what is necessary to safely discontinue them, such as a slow methodical taper, but is willing and able to do what's understood to be necessary to remain stable. I believe a strong knowledge base of when to intervene with coping mechanisms (psychlogical and physiological) is integral to success.

It requires building habits to where it is normal to eat right, to exercise regularly, to go to sleep at the same time every night. It comes down to discipline. Being resolute when the pressure is on. It's doing what's hard, even if hard seems to have no end.

It starts with giving up caffeine. Giving up favorite foods, always being the designated driver, laughing in good humor when teased about going to bed early (old man/senior <my name>). It's accepting that in order to feel as close to normal as I can I will have to accept a change in lifestyle which is not normal.

I've spent the past seven months in withdrawal from Mirtazapine and Temazepam. I've since learned that I don't need an AD to be free of my treatment resistant depression and that I do not respond well to Benzodiazepines - benzos are like poison for me. I now find myself wondering if I need my mood stabilizer. I think it's worth finding out at this point.

I'm frankly tired of carpet bombing my mind with psychotropics. There are better treatments which address my bipolar, they're just harder to implement than swallowing pills. However, this approach is working better than anything I've tried before, and I've tried a lot of medications during the last eighteen years.

[Blitter2014]

A necessary evil.

I've had years of life where I managed med free, im currently on meds. The difference? My ability to control my environment.

I started out on meds 14 years ago. Was on a variety of combinations til my world went boom and i decided that my life style wasnt worth the stresses and meds i was on. I changed everything about my life and managed five years of med free. The last two years my life has spiraled and there has been nothing I could do about it, hence meds became my only option.

Being med free I couldn't cope with as much, had more highs and lows, but managed becuase I could control my environment enough to cope. Now as I said, they are a neccesary evil.

[Yoda]

It took seven years to find the right meds for me. I am better now than I ever thought I would be but it has been a rocky road to get here. I think the worst was being lithium toxic; I had to go inpatient for that and I was miserable.

They are a necessary evil, at least for now. Now day I hope to taper down. We will see.

[venusss]

One of the way to cope, not the only way.

I am doing it med free and sometimes it's intense as hell. But to me it's worth it keeping my full range of my mind. I learned to operate in the mode and anything else would be strange to me.

It's a personal decision, but I think too many people are overmedicated to the degree they cannot use their intellectual capabilities to get themselves through problems. That is than seen as "bipolar is getting worse" and more drugs are added, even further limiting the person in their life.

i don't think i could see myself med free.

despite what people tell me, meds just mess you up more, they are bad for you, it's 1 of the few supports i've got at the moment, and for the moment i'm going to stick to it- as i feel without them i could never manage (especially on the really bad days)

[wiretwister]

i want to stop every day,,I dream of not taking any pills,,,I fear what they are doing to my mind and body,,but I fear what happened when I quit before,,,so for now I take them..but I still want to stop....

[Disorder7]

It depends on the person. Some people are high functioning--or possibly misdiagnosed-- and I do believe they can survive without them.

When I don't take anything for my panic disorder and bipolar, my mind unravels. I've tried to jump out of cars, I've ran around in traffic, I've rolled around in the front yard in the dirt going crazy....and so much more.

It's taken me years to accept it, but there is something wrong with my brain. And no amount of talking, breathing, or meditating is going to fix it.

[ombrétwilight]

I have never reached the severity of needing meds. My hypomanias are short (in fact my ADD and OCD present much worse) though my depressions are horrid. Old T has suggested meds but she changed her mind again and thought we could work through it with talk therapy alone. She also said it was scary giving me the leverage of dangerous controlled substances because I have expressed sui tendencies.

I do feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of meds though since a pdoc and T have told me that there definitely will be side effects, particularly weight gain. I know it sounds extremely immature but I have body image issues and would rather suffer a nasty bout of depression than put on weight. This isn't for bipolar but I have heard many positive reviews about Adderall (which fortunately doesn't entail weight gain) so I am more willing to give that a go.

[Tucson]

I just have too many responsibilities in my life to try it med free. For example, one trip to the psych hospital will have me lose my mother with dementia to a nursing home. I just cannot afford another possible serious manic episode or episode of depression. There is just too much at stake for me right now. But I will try sometime in the future.

[RustbeltRoyalty]

I don't really hate my meds, I mean when all's said and done, nobody really enjoys taking a handful of pills everyday. But I'm so much more in control and functional when I take them.

[BlackSheep79]

I do feel like they are poison because of all these horrible side effects that we experience taking these medications. I know that I simply cannot function without them unfortunately. I do however believe that as part of my of goal of reaching as close to stability as I can, that I have to use coping strategies as well, which is something that I work on everyday.

[wildflowerchild25]

I hate taking meds because inevitably I get the bizarre side effects. And besides that, they don't help me at all. I've been depressed since June and no medication has touched it. But I keep taking them on the off chance that someday it will start working.

[Curious651]

I can say that I have been med free for over three years. Took me years to figure out how to manage and recognize different behaviors though. I will be completely honest though. I have cycles of up and down and there are times I wonder. Especially when depression hits or the anger kick in. I do stick to a strict schedule every day. No day off. Up at six am. Every day. To bed by ten at latest. Some days sleep okay others up quite often but I stay in bed. I also use meditation, DBT tools a lot, prayer, exercise at least three to four times a week. I know when I do not, I start cycling faster. I also watch what I eat, sugars, bread, candy, chocolate, pasta, and sweets are out of the diet. Please be careful and think about your choices before you make them.

[Bipolarchic14]

I hate meds, I think the pharmaceutical industry is corrupt, I think psychiatrists can't be trusted and the med i take currently is not doing much for my depression.

[Disorder7]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I hate taking meds because inevitably I get the bizarre side effects. And besides that, they don't help me at all. I've been depressed since June and no medication has touched it. But I keep taking them on the off chance that someday it will start working.

Omg. Please consider finding a new pdoc. There ARE meds for depression. And some really have few or no side effects.

Please don't settle. Take care.

[4ALittle]

When I was 18-23, I was just a pot head. I enjoyed drugs, as long as I got to choose which drugs I was taking.
I'm sort of hard headed that way. But, I've made peace with the fact that nobody is trying to hurt me by offering me medicine to treat my specific condition.
Today, I believe that the medicine I am taking is a Godsend if it can keep me from going off the rails. I also know myself well enough to know that exercise, meditation and clean eating are wonderful, but are just not quite enough.
I try not to think in terms of good and evil. It is what it is.

[Trippin2.0]

When I first started them I thought they were heaven sent. I was going through hell and they provided the relief I so desperately sought.


A year and a med change later, I loathed them. The lithium made me parkinsonian, and stupid to boot. I had no working memory, long term (permanent) memory gaps, zero fine motor skills and a diminished vocabulary... Oh and lets not forget acne. My very first bout of acne at age 26


Side-effects+murdered self-esteem = misery personified.


Chucked them down the toilet 1 night 3 years ago.


The price of being appropriate is way too high.


Yes, I could have eventually tried new meds, but I really couldn't stand living a watered down version of my life either. Nor could I handle thinking how *****ed up sick I am, everytime I swallowed a handful of pills...


I drastically needed a healthier perception, and flushing my meds lead me there.


I'm not anti meds though, I just refuse to take daily pills for a biweekly cyclical condition, with severe episodes occurring only every 3 months.


Doesn't compute in my brain anymore.

I started taking meds about 8 years ago for BP1. I was stable for a long on them. About 4 years ago a long line of stressors seems to knock me off course. After an attempt and some physical issue following i was taken off meds for about a month, mainly due to the damage I had done. Oh lord. I was a mess. And trying to find a new set of meds that worked? I was in and out of psychosis, irrational thinking, mixed states….

I'm on a good pair of meds that seem to be be bringing me back around. So, I actually believe in meds. I can't function without them, honestly