[Victoria'smom]

I'm going into a mixed episode without a proper team. Any ideas to help ride this out?

[~Christina]

Take your PRN daily ! Coping skills to the max. Exercise to burn off energy ! Just hold on tight ,self grounding and mindfulness.

Keep posting

[venusss]

go into minimalist mode. do what you have to and don't overwhelm yourself.

Hope you feel better soon.

[Victoria'smom]

I was able to get an appointment with new T Friday and I'm going to a PCP Wednesday so hopefully I can get meds from PCP.

[Crazy Hitch]

I hope it all works out and you're able to get your meds on Wednesday.

Keep distractions and stimulation to a minimal. Journal rather than speaking right now if you think you might say something upsetting to someone close to you.

[Victoria'smom]

Yeah I can't think or follow conversations. I'm to aggitated to be around my son but SIL can't be bothered not to bring one night stands home long enough for him to stay there. My husband is suicidal and I need to find a way to give a **** about any of this. I really wish I'd just stop waking up. Oh food sucks.

[Wander]

Sorry to hear what your going through. Mixed episodes are TOUGH! Hope the session with your PCP works out and rings some relief. If it is all you can do just wait this out, it will pass. I know you have a lot of family issues right now too so it must be extremely stressful for you. I wish I knew how to help, or what you could do to help but I doubt I know anymore than you. I am thinking of you. Take care.

[Victoria'smom]

I really would like to be a nice human being again.

[Victoria'smom]

So I did not go to PCP. I did not get a script or my meds prior authorized. I don't want meds. I didn't want to answer questions and my depression screening would have got me locked up. So after throwing a hissy fit out in the mental health clinic parking lot (they're going to get to know us anyway). My husband put his foot down and tried to take me. We got lost, gave up and went home. My T is so not going to be thrilled to deal with me Friday.

[~Christina]

I think you need to get a grip on yourself to be honest.

You are not going to feel better if you refuse treatment, you know this. Didn't/don't you have an agreement that your husband can step in and get you help even when you aren't realizing you are in need of it or are in denial ?

Do what is right for you and your family.

[Curious651]

Sorry I have no real words of wisdom

[Victoria'smom]

I did go to sleep last night because I was going to purge my meds. Sleep is really ****** for me right now. I don't really feel like meds are worth it. I've become huge on the seroquel. I was telling my husband that I want to keep the seroquel next to the bed so whenever I woke up I could just take it to go back to sleep. He informed me that was drug abuse. I do have an agreement with my husband but I haven't done anything to enact my crisis plan. He's in a bad place too right now. He's suicidal right now. He has me lay down with him while he sleeps as his Teddy bear.

[Victoria'smom]

And this is how fast I get thrown back on to everything and the PRN.

[Victoria'smom]

I want one mood. Not angry, agitated, can't stop fidgeting, "not stepping foot in the hospital, like this", "stay far enough away from me so that I don't lunge at you", morbid suicidal, crying, "The black ocean looks nice and comfy"," try to convince husband he'd be "okay" without me, "there's no point in BP.", "will I/we survive? this winter", "Things will get better", "We should smoke and get **** faced".

Now I'm back "down" WTH, Time seems so slow. How do I look outside myself enough to support my husband through his depression or at least not trigger his depression to be worse?