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#1
Nov 08, 2014, 07:35 AM
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I am still having trouble believing my dx of bp, I feel I have never had a hypo or manic episode, even though most of my life I have been "like a ping pong ball in a hurricane", taken to er by my work via police, put ip for 72, my T said on first visit bp, my pdoc says bp, my wife says I am "better" on the meds.. but I still do not believe it,I read other posts and most just do not fit me, very high functioning have had the same job for years they can't be right,,,just venting I guess
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#2
Nov 08, 2014, 08:45 AM
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Describing life as being like a ping pong ball in a hurricane could work so well to describe parts of my life and probably others that are bipolar. All it really takes is to have one manic moment followed by depression to get the diagnosis. Are you mainly depressed? How do you feel the majority of the time?
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#3
Nov 08, 2014, 09:21 AM
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mostly depressed since I have been on meds,, have no emotions good or bad...
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#4
Nov 08, 2014, 09:29 AM
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I stopped taking Abilify because i just felt numb, no emotion either way. I like the manic phase but my family get a bit annoyed because of my grand ideas and the fact that i chatter like a budgie..
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 BipolaRNurse
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#5
Nov 08, 2014, 10:45 AM
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Sounds like denial, my friend.
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| Trippin2.0
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#6
Nov 08, 2014, 11:01 AM
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Maybe denial,, but who wants to be labeled for life if there is any chance they are wrong....
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#7
Nov 08, 2014, 11:23 AM
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I too have a bit of disbelief. There aren't any markedly no sleeping for days that I've experienced. I do know that no one is the same and you don't fit into some cookie cutter box of symptoms but isn't the no sleeping kind of a trademark?
For me focusing on the high functioning part would be my focus. Forget the labels and just work on what symptoms you have. If you can do that then you will be fine. Just be honest with your support group about your symptoms and proactive in your own balance. |
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#8
Nov 08, 2014, 11:30 AM
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Why let the label define who you are? Depressed or Bipolar there both illness that in most cases can be treated and managed. I may have Bipolar, but I am a person first, with a family, friends, a job and things to live for. Being Bipolar just means I may be a little different then some, make different choices then others to ensure life flows smoothly. One thing I remind myself of is everyone has bad days and even weeks regardless on their mental condition, mine can and have been worse then the average Joe but there help available to me.
Even without the label you'd likely be feeling this way. A label is just label with a possible list of your symptoms. I ask you again though, why let it define who you are. |
| Trippin2.0
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#9
Nov 08, 2014, 12:43 PM
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I do not care if they call me whatever,, but I do care if friends or work finds out the "label" as it changes the way they treat and feel about you...maybe even affect my employment...labels do matter,
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#10
Nov 08, 2014, 01:01 PM
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They can't fire you for having an illness and it's confidential information. As far as your friends go, if they pass negative judgment on you because of this then what kind of friends do you have?
Resist all you want, but if you really are bipolar you're only going to make it harder on yourself. Hellboy |
| Trippin2.0
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#11
Nov 08, 2014, 01:13 PM
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There are many ways to lose a job,, confidential only works if no one knows or everyone keeps there mouth shut,,I am currently
being asked to renew security clearances which require releasing ALL medical records,, that scares me...MI scares people labels do matter... |
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#12
Nov 08, 2014, 01:39 PM
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Just because you do not want it so just because of the inconvenience to you does not make it true. I would place allot of weight on what your family says.
Still, if you have doubts, get a second opinion. Maybe it is wrong?
__________________
Dx: Bipolar I, ADD, GAD. Rx: Fluoxetine, Buproprion, Olanzapine, Lamictal, and Strattera. |
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#13
Nov 08, 2014, 01:45 PM
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Work doesn't need to know. I denied my DX for 7 years. I understand the denial, it can be hard to accept if your life doesn't match the idea you have of what BP is. However, denial eventually caught up with me and things got way worse. I suggest keeping up with treatment and trying to trust that the docs know what they are talking about. If you have no emotions you need to tell your pDoc.
__________________
P&G (38) - Bipolar... Zoloft, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Klonopin and Buspirone Son (16) - Mood disorder NOS Daughter (11) - so far so good |
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#14
Nov 08, 2014, 02:13 PM
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This is the second pdoc to say the same thing, they were years apart,, it's true God knows I just don't want it to be,,I have these periods where I refuse to accept..and now the fear of work finding out has really set me off,,I function very well but that damn label, I just can't let it go....I am so afraid of losing all I have worked so long for...
Last edited by wiretwister; Nov 08, 2014 at 02:26 PM. |
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#15
Nov 08, 2014, 04:16 PM
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Quote:
Hellboy |
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#16
Nov 08, 2014, 04:42 PM
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I wished the ada really meant something but thanks for the thought, thanks to all you guys,, just venting..
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#17
Nov 08, 2014, 05:01 PM
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Quote:
and fired for a reason they pulled straight out of their asses. Everybody makes mistakes. So so so easy to point one of them out.
__________________
Glory to heroes!
HATEFREE CULTURE |
| BipolaRNurse, Trippin2.0, ~Christina
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#18
Nov 08, 2014, 05:35 PM
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What she said!
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#19
Nov 08, 2014, 10:06 PM
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I cannot say you are or you are not bp. I can agree that if work finds out, it could have impact. Have seen that myself. I too have struggled with acceptance. And I think I always will, but I know that I am who I am and that is not determined by a dx. I also know that I fight to stay off meds and there are times it is hard. To night is one of them. Just be true to yourself. I have heard by several ppl as stated above, the more we fight the dx, the more trouble we can have. I believe it.
__________________
when people try and crush your soul, remember that only you can damage yourself. |
 Heechee55
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#20
Nov 09, 2014, 12:46 AM
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Perhaps you could try confiding in human resources or the union before you release your medical. I understand your fear and have seen how corporate treats their employees so you are justified in your fears whether they come true or not.
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#21
Nov 09, 2014, 07:39 AM
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Quote:
My head accepts this ,but my heart is still fearful and fighting. I quess for now I am a divided soul. |
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#22
Nov 09, 2014, 08:26 AM
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What makes it so hard is I have no one to confide in, except my long suffering wife, and of course you guys,,
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#23
Nov 09, 2014, 01:44 PM
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Theres no law saying you have to accept the label "Bipolar" , really all you and your Pdoc are doing is just "treating symptoms." Might be easier to process it this way.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Trippin2.0, venusss
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#24
Nov 09, 2014, 02:14 PM
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Quote:
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#25
Nov 09, 2014, 07:49 PM
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I don't see how that would be any different.
Hellboy |
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