[Welder]

Hi, I'm new here so it's good to meet everyone. I do need some advice, my marriage and family life is very stressful right now. I have bipolar and my teenage dauthger has depression. I have not worked for over a year and my wife is a very sucessful career women and mother to our 2 daughters, and she is a good one too. She is also the only caregiver of our mental illness. Me and my daughter bot see a pysh dr are on meds and in therpy. My wife takes her stress or life out on my daugther and me and we can't seem to do anything right, she nags us often. We both have our struggles with life, we do make mistakes and my wife seems to zero in on that. She feels that her as a caregiver to two mentally ill people is hard on her that it is on us. I don't know what to think about that. She loves us both very much but can't understand our illness. I have been a constant mild deprssion for over a year. I don't like not working and I have a little crying spell everyday, usually in the mornings after my my and daughters our gone for the day. I feel I need to protect my daughter from my wife. My main question is this, I want to move out of state take my daughter, maybe both with me and start my own business. My wife would then come later when she found a meaningful carrer choice. I would have family members to help me out, but I would be in charge of our lives. Is that a healthy thought for me to have or am just wanting to get away from my wife. My wife is in favor of this plan, but it could become even more stressful for her, won't get into details. Sorry that's alot to take in but just need some advice on any of those things. Thanks

[newtothis31]

Sorry to hear about your stress.

Being a caregiver is hard. There's a lot of guilt when you don't feel like you're taking care of a loved one the way you should. Or feeling that they could prevent your symptoms. I'm glad that you recognize that she loves you and your daughter. Would you be open to her visiting a therapist with you?

Starting a new business is one of the most stressful undertakings- I personally think you'd be better off if you were able to maintain stability prior to undergoing something so stressful. Being the sole parent whose there of a teenager and helping her adjust to new surroundings would be hard. What type of support system would you have in place at the new location?

[Crazy Hitch]

Thank you for your posting.

BP certainly has an impact on those we love.

My advice would be that your wife finds a job first in the state that you are referring to and then you all move together.

Starting your own business comes with massive risks. 70% of small businesses fail within the first year of start up due to a number of factors. You don't want to move all the way there and your wife takes a while to find a stable income.

Be well and I hope that ultimately the decision that you make is the one that is best for you and your family.

[~Christina]

Sorry your in such a tough situation.

Living with someone that has a MI can be tough on others, that just the reality.

My Advice would be that it would be helpful if your wife were to see a Therapist on her own, she can learn ways to take care of herself that will lower her stress and home life won't be as hectic or draining on her.

She needs to be thought of as your wife before she is thought of as your care giver.

Unless someone has a mental illness they will never be able to "really' understand what its like. I brought my husband to one of my Therapy appointment and my "T" explained to him in simple English what my illness was and how he could or could not help me...Everyone mental illness or not have to learn how to take care of there own mental health. My husband is always there when I need support , But I do avoid being dependant on him, I have a responsibility to take care of myself.

What would making a move like that do to your current situation? Would you and your daughter be able to continue your treatments without a long gap waiting for appointments for care? breaking the family apart for a while ? or could it "break" to relationships?

Welcome to PC

[Welder]

Thanks for the advice, it has given me somethings to think about. As far as MI care in that area, I have no idea. It is a family farm situation that I have been in before so it would not totally new to me. The business is a welding shop that would operate on the farm so there would be less risk that other situations. It would be a whole new world for my daugther, but one she is looking forward to. My wife suggestion is go ahead and move because that would make me happy. I'm not happy in our current situation.