Is bipolar possible? Please help

This is a very long read. I apologize ahead of time...

I just need some guidance or point of view from someone.

I have already been diagnosed with clinical depression and was taking Zoloft 25 mg. Then the doc. upped to 50 because it was not working. I eventually had to get off because I was also taking doxepin to sleep. I had a severe skin reaction so had to stop both medications.

Since I have been off the meds, I have been able to maintain somewhat. However, it is some days that I feel a lower depression that usual. I mean so low, I feel I am in a dark place and can't get out. Suicide thoughts tend to be strong at this time. The next day or two I feel o.k. though I still feel the depression there. However, I get into these angry/irritable fits and start to act irrational. It actually scares me. When I was on my Zoloft, I had these episodes as well. When I told the doc. he just told me that I needed time to level out. That's when I went to another doc. and she decided to increase my dose to 50mg. I am pretty much a mild tempered person, but when I feel like I can't hold in my frustration can set me off and I do the strangest things. I am concerned because I don't want to lose it and then regret it later. I start to cry because I feel like a bad person.

I don't have all the classic symptoms of bipolar like spending frivolously or feeling on top of the world, but I can say that sometimes I'm o.k. and smiling and laughing and other times, I hid away in my bed room. Or, if I am at work, I turn out the lights, lock my door and just cry and sit in the dark.

Before I got on the Zoloft I had such a low, that I felt like I lost my mind. I was freaking out and had to have a family member calm me down. I didn't want my daughter to see me. It's hard when you go through this and you have children and have to explain that you are not feeling well.

Please. If anyone has any suggestions or thoughts I would greatly appreciate it. My mom was talking to me about going back to the doc. I don't want them to think that I am trying to make something up.

Lastly, a little background info. My dad use to experience I believe severe bipolar episodes. Growing up he would start arguments and then be o.k. He was also buy things up the woo ha. which would cause fights with mom. However, he never got diagnosed. He also would hear voices. I did talk to him about this when I was taking the meds. Because at one point I was hearing voices but couldn't make it out. Then after the meds, they stopped. Recently, though I have had a few episodes but not as before.

I am a little confused because I know that this is not totally psychotic. I understand what is going on. I just want to know if this is something other than just clinical depression.

Any feedback and thoughts are welcome

Hi Signets,

Based on what you have written, there could be some plausibility in the idea that there may be something beyond depression.

I'm glad your mom is thinking of taking you to see a dr. That's the best possible way to get to the bottom of this. If need be, your dr may refer you to a psychiatrist for further screening, if they feel that that is warranted.

I'm sorry I can't give you a direct answer to your question. Leave that to the professionals.

Be well and know that either way we are here to support you.

thanks so much

Love your signature!

Signets,

I hope you choose to go to the Dr and soon. I believe we don't have something wrong with us - we have responses to normal things in a stronger way. Whether your depressed, bipolar, bpd, w/e it might be. I can't promise things will get better fast, but I do promise that if you avoid learning what if anything you might be diagnosed with - you will regret the time wasted.

Remember, doing nothing is also doing something.

I wish the best for us all.

Could be Bipolar , Theres a whole spectrum of Bipolar symptoms you could fall under or other mental issues that could be causing your problems. A Pdoc would be the best avenue to follow to find out if and what treatment you may need.

Also something to mention .... It's always best to have a complete physically with full blood work done, Thyroid and hormones and or low vitamin levels can often cause many moods issues, best to rule out those possibilities.

take care

I am confused. At one point, you say you are off your meds, and then you say your doctor increased the dose?

If you are taking an AD and experiencing irritability like that, and it's not characteristic, then it is related to the medication and it may be that you have bipolar II, which can be triggered by medication. Mania is not a comfortable feeling, so please don't believe the Hollywood version. If it were all grand, people would not take medication for it. It destroys lives.

If you are not taking the AD, then the symptoms may be from withdrawal, and your doctor is right to see if this levels out.

If you are having mood swings off medication, and they are related to things happening in your life, consider seeing a therapist.

Hope you get this figured out. It can be a long journey. Hang in there.

And I agree with Christina about having a medical check up, with blood tests and hormone tests to see if you have deficiencies that are affecting your mood. Mine uncovered several and the treatment for them has improved my well being considerably, and in ways that medication doesn't (though I still take meds)--clarity of mind, energy, memory.

Few of us here have all of the classic characteristics of bipolar. To make it more confusing there are different types and degrees of bipolar. And if you really want to complicate things, frequently if someone is bipolar they have other comorbid conditions as well. So a doctor has to treat two or three...or more issues.

I'm bipolar 1 and I never have happy mania. I have mixed episodes which make me very irritable and prone to violence.

Take care and I hope you get some answers soon.

thank you so much

Thanks for that encouragement

I am not taking the meds right now. I was reminiscing when I was on them and how I was feeling. Thanks for the thought.

Thanks so much.. I appreciate it.