My world is crumbling

HI. I'm a single mom on an autistic little girl. She's mild to moderate. I'm about to start psych school and I still live with my parents....with that being said. No matter HOW hard I try....it feels like it's never good enough. With the constant nagging and critizing by my mother, I feel like I'm breaking into a million pieces and no one knows how to help me. My mom and I fight a lot and sometimes in front of my daughter who sees everything. When I mean fight....it's not fists or anything violent but yelling and al that junk. I tend to hold a lot in. There's experiences from my past that I haven't been able to overcome. Therefore I just store them away but it seems to leak through and it angers me which causes me to be engulfed with rage and I always snap at my mother. Not only myself, but I blame her for many things. The one person that keeps me going and I will protect to the very end with all my heart and soul is my precious daughter. I want to get better for her and be the best for her. But I'm coming to realize that I NEED HELP. I won't be able to give her what she needs if mommy isn't well. When I was a teen, I was diagnosed as being Manic Depressive/Borderline Bipolar. My mother laughed and said that I was a joke and just trying to get attention. So I never told her my feelings Learned to bottle it up.....and now from age 15 to age 33.......it's spewing out. I would like to get a Professional Psychological Test. I do not have health insurance. I'm in the Miami area. Please help me.

Mental health:

Call
305-324-HELP (4357)
305-892-4600
(305) 774-3616
ask if they have sliding scale fee and scheduled an intake.

But honestly you are having housing issues, family issues, and mental health issues I'd go to Cathloic charities 305-243-7270

Since you are in school look for on-campus family housing

Thank God Miguel'smom gave you a direction to go in. It could change your life for the better. Me, I have no idea what to do. I do firmly believe you need help outside your family. Your mom doesn't understand, or refuses to. I think if you could get out of her home, you would feel better.

Hello thelonelygoth: I'm afraid I don't have allot to offer in terms of help. The only thing that occurs to me is the possibility of finding a no-cost women's support group, perhaps through a women's organization in the Miami area. It wouldn't be individual therapy. But it may help. I never thought I would like to participate in a support-type group. But, once I tried it, I found it very helpful... in my case, more so than individual therapy. The other thing that occurs to me is to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They advertise that you don't have to be suicidal to call. They're there to help with any problem. 1 (800) 273-8255 (TALK) They may be able to put you in touch with some possible sources of support groups. Also, you can just talk with them. There again, this may not be what you're looking for, but it may help in the meantime.

Beyond that I just wanted to say how closely I can identify with what you wrote in terms of holding stuff from the past in & having it leak through & surface as anger. I have had this same type of problem for many years. It's not as bad now as it used to be. Part of that may be due to the fact that I am aging. But also, a couple of years ago my pdoc put me on Cymbalta & it has seemed to help. It really hasn't done that much for my depression. But I have stayed on it because of the positive effect it seems to have on my anger management issues. My best wishes to you.