[twizzlerheaded]

Roughly a year ago I was diagnosed with bipolar and prescribed medication accordingly. (I never noticed a difference in cognition when I started the medicine) Here's the thing, I don't think I have it. To date, I have never had a manic attack or anything close to one. I go through random fits of depression for no reason lasting anywhere from a week to 6 months. On very rare occasions, I'll find myself suddenly euphoric for a second or two then I'll overthink it and it will dissipate.

If left idle, I can think my way into depression spells as well, credit to my ADD. It probably sounds ignorant, so excuse my naivety but I almost wish I would have a manic attack just so I would know I actually had Bipolar. My moods range room extremely depressed to neutral--rarely excited or enthusiastic.

I don't know if I'm in denial or if I'm misinterpreting what it actually means to suffer from Bipolar. I've never felt comfortable saying I'm bipolar cause I truly don't think I have it. My thoughts are that I just suffer from depression. Hopefully you guys have some ideas or similar experiences, so any input would be appreciated. Thank you.

[Justugh]

the best way to get down to the dirt of what u have is

check self in mental hospital ...........they will run all the test on u do blood drawls stick u machines ....attach things to your head to see what brainwaves

it will be a week long trip to 1 month but by the time u walk out the meds will be set and all of what u have will be classified

[~Christina]

Did they label you Bipolar I or II

Bipolar I is depression with full blow Mania.
Bipolar II is mostly depression with Hypo mania.

Above is just a broad stroke of differences, Many others things are factored in.

If you doubt your diagnosis talk to your Pdoc about or/and get a second opinion.

[ozzy1313]

I have been dx bipolar II. My hypomania usually presents itself as anger. I would also go from depressed to neutral back to depressed. Did you notice anything different when you started the meds?

[BlackSheep79]

Have you only had a diagnosis from one doctor, or more? If you don't feel comfortable with your diagnosis you can get a second opinion.

[wiretwister]

my story is very much like yours,,,except I started my journey inpatient,, but since then very stable with depression only,,,two pdocs seperated by several years gave me the same dx..my family says I am better on the mood meds though I doubt my dx every day I have accepted it..even with all the evidence I still want to not believe it but I must..to stay well...

[Kitty_Kat]

I'm in the same situation right now. My psychiatrist tells me frequently that she's convinced that I have bipolar II, but I honestly don't see it. I looked up the symptoms online, but it doesn't fully make sense to me. I do some of the stuff, but other stuff is like...eh...I don't know.

I know exactly what you mean about feeling neutral, because I'm the same way. I'm either so depressed that my skin hurts and I can hardly open my eyes or I'm an emotionless shell of a person who just acts like what others would classify as a normal human being. Do you have any other extreme emotions like anger or frustration or anxiety? According to my psychiatrist, you don't have to be euphoric to be manic. It's just an extreme agitated emotion. So your mania might look different than everyone else's.

[BipolaRNurse]

I've struggled with the acceptance thing ever since I was diagnosed BP-NOS. For the longest time I tried to believe I was merely going through an existential crisis that I just wasn't pulling out of very quickly. Reality hit when I was diagnosed BP 1 a couple of years into it; now I know there's no way around the fact that I have bipolar. I've been dx'd by three doctors now and they all say the same thing.

That's why second opinions are so valuable. If you're not sure, you really ought to think about getting one. Good luck to you.

[Trippin2.0]

Mania doesn't automatically equal euphoria...

I would look into other forms of mania or hypomania, and then decide if I should be questioning or accepting my dx.

[furiousfever]

I think accepting diagnosis is so hard with bipolar because it presents so differently in people. I have had trouble putting all of the puzzle pieces together myself. Trust your pdoc. They probably see things you miss, as awareness is seriously impaired in mania/hypomania.

[twizzlerheaded]

My Doc put me on Lamictal and I never consciously felt different--for better or for worse. I still had my random bits of depression. I do suffer from anxiety which hasn't been lessened by Lamictal. I'm not an angry person, in fact, I'm too complacent.

Now that you guys mentioned it though, I have noticed that I will be super anxious for a week or so, with no depression than all of a sudden the next week or so, I'm super depressed with no anxiety--all with no external triggers.

But on another note, I'm not sure how I feel about Bipolar meds, in my specific case. As mentioned, I'm extremely introverted and show/feel little excitement and have to force myself to do anything extracurricular. By that I mean calling up friends, going to parties, etc. The thing is, I don't want to be strictly "level". So although the mood stabilizers may help with my depression and anxiety, won't they also restrict appropriate excitement, which I am so desperately in need of?

[Trippin2.0]

In my experience, they sometimes can and do restrict natural responses.

But from what I hear, the right meds don't cause that reaction...


Also as an aside, meds are designed to soften the blows, so yes you'll still have your random bouts of everything you experience, but the intensity and hopefully the frequency is supposed to be decreased by meds.


I never experienced the frequency issue being resolved on meds though, but other members certainly maintain that this can and does happen when on a good combo...

[Victoria'smom]

If the meds are working properly they're not soupose to make you too mellow. This coming from someone that is currently "flat"

[Bigmike727]

This is just my personal opinion, obviously I am not a psychiatrist or anything so basically I am not a professional, but I think the bipolar spectrum covers a variety of things if you ask me. When I say that I mean that, for example, mania in me usually presents itself in extreme anger, agitation, irritability, racing thoughts, but I typically don't have a problem with splurging money. For some people, mania can mean spending large sums of money quickly. Same thing with depression, for example I don't necessarily lose interest in activities I just get lethargic and can't start or continue what I started. Anyways, my point is, we are all different so what may be defined as a BP symptom in one person may not be for another, the best advice I can give is to get a second opinion if you desire to do so, I mean it doesn't hurt any, and you would get some reassurance out of it. I pray that all goes well with you.

[twizzlerheaded]

Thanks for your input guys. You all helped open my eyes to a disorder I definitely knew very little about. When I was in middle school I knew a kid who had a severe case of it so I guess in my head I only assumed it was an all or nothing deal.

[Imah]

I was diagnosed bi-polar at:
16
19
24
36
39
44 - finally I got it. My case is a bit extreme, but finally I began truly working with a very good professional support group.

My suggestion would also be to seek a second opinion. Also to continue here, as you are - at psych central. Read the various stores. Especially the "have you ever done this". We can't really tell people if they are or not, we don't know your symptoms. But we can share experiences, and you can see if they correlate.

Bi-polar can have cross over symptoms. And besides, depression, anxiety, it is very closely related to Borderline Personality Disorder.

I hope this helps. Best of luck to us all. Happy Holidays!