[Becoming]

I am feeling so frustrated with having Bipolar II. I feel it sometimes takes over my life and I have largely been suffering in a depressed stage for months (thought most severe over the past two weeks or so). It's so hard to function and even enjoy things that I should without my thoughts interrupting me. I couldn't even watch a Christmas movie with my family last night without being dissociated the majority of the time. I'm actually mad and frustrated with my mental illness and annoyed I have to fight if every single day. I just want it to go away.

Does anyone else feel this way and if so, how do you deal with it or overcome it?

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[BipolaRNurse]

Welcome to my world! I've been at least somewhat depressed since mid-October and even needed a hospital stay because I had a plan to kill myself. I'm still slightly depressed but am over the worst of it (I hope). I know how it feels to not be able to enjoy much of anything and to resent the living hell out of the disease. All I can say is, don't listen to the lies your brain is telling you---it's the illness talking and tormenting you. And this, too, shall pass. It always does.

[AstridLovelight]

I've been feeling the same way too lately. I hate the havoc mental illness has wreaked on my life, as well as the hurt and damage I've caused to anyone who gets too close to me.

I wish I knew ways to deal with and overcome it. For me, my religious faith helps some, as does practicing unconditional self-acceptance. I'm also slowly trying to re-shift my focus onto what's well inside me, instead of what's sick...because I believe that's where healing lives. There's part of me in here somewhere that's well, and I always have the freedom to make new and different choices, no matter whats happened in the past, and no matter what might be in the present. So FWIW I'd just say find and focus on your own power

[Imah]

Rachael, what a pretty name! Hmm, how do I overcome or deal with it?

Well, we can't pretend it away. Let my 35+ years in denial help everyone to know THAT!

In my opinion, the heart of the controllable issues are is self acceptance, understanding and temperance.

I work on that by praising myself OFTEN. Example: In your case: You came on psych central - you reached out, you are evaluating if you could be better, you care if you were not fully involved in a family function. There are huge complimentary actions in just that!

We get up. YAY - we are contributing to a picture bigger then ourselves. We shower - YAY - we care not to be offensive to others.

Dear Rachael, you would not be asking yourself these things if you were not a good person, so I think what you need to learn is how to find good things about yourself. Each and every hour you will be doing SOMETHING good. If you learn to see it. And that will help some in lifting the depression.

We need never forget that our friends, sadness and outstanding joy will always be around. We need to just learn how to handle them when they do.

Best of luck to us all!
Annie

[ozzy1313]

You are not alone. Family functions are the hardest when depressed. I will see my kids and husband having fun and it's like I am watching from behind a curtain. I feel so distant from them.

Wish I had answers for you, but sometimes it's just comforting knowing there are others out there feeling what you are.

[Victoria'smom]

I've learned to get a little pleasure in seeing them happy. Basically I'm happy to see you're happy.

[LostMommy227]

I find with depression, looking for the good inside is helpful. There is usually an underlying trigger that keeps going on despite all The sadness that is cloaking it.

[MotherMarcus]

There are times where I have to distract myself from myself when it comes to depression. Not an easy thing to do .
Most of the time I just lose myself on the internet or watch way to much television.

::HUG::

[wiretwister]

When I was pretty far down my every thought was bp and what is it doing to me....now that all, or most all of the darkness is gone I'm begining to believe I may really have a future..remember as many on here say it's a cycle and it will change just don't give up.....

[Becoming]

Thanks everyone. I feel a little better especially knowing I'm not alone. I took some notes so I can remember these things. <3