[Victoria'smom]

SI trigger


I've already promised T I'd "make it" through this week taking my meds and not dissecting my arm. I'm not depressed just "there". Weight gain is nagging at me. I'm allowed to take 1/2 to 1 pill of 7.5 mg Zyprexa. If I take the 7.5 It medicates my personality away but 1/2 The urge to dissect myself becomes almost consistent. The nurse was no help and told me to wait it out. No one seems to be taking my weight gain seriously. My clothing is no longer fitting and no one seems to be alarmed except me. I'm now silent and only really respond when interacted with. I can fake being social an hour a week but Zyprexa has stole my personality. time seems to slow. I don't know what to do while 'stable'. How do I lose the weight and get my personality back and fill my day? I don't see pdoc until the end of next month.

[Blitter2014]

I have not had issues with SI, but hear what you are saying with the weight gain and the zombie like effect of medication. What makes it worse I think is that in your head you are one person, but you cannot project that person outwardly, and you come across dumb, stupid, lame ete. That leads to frustration, which in turn only makes things worse. Maybe that was just me. As far as the clothes, try to go with the flow. Buy more clothes if you have to, but you can deal with the weight gain when you are feeling more stable. Not a pleasant thought, and understandable that it would be distressing, but hard as it maybe, you can only fight the fights you can win at the moment. It sounds like it is taking all your energy just to hold it together, so do what you can to keep your weight down (exercise, good diet etc) and make a promise to yourself that when this all settles down you will look at loosing weight. Make it a reward for holding it together.

I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, but please hang in there, keep your promise to your T, and give yourself a time out from worrying about your weight. Honestly you are more desirable alive than you are being able to fit into a size 10 dress

[Justugh]

nice lady
i am sorry about this .......the reason they are not reacting to it is it is a known side effect ....to them this is completely expected now they are just looking for it to lvl out (gain 10 20 30 lbs then lvls out and u hold that weight )

as for what to do not really much u can do working out and diets had little effect .....the only choice is to contact the doctor and report a side effect that u are thinking about stop the med u need to be seen sooner then what was planned

as for the ppl stuff and all that i got nothing for yah other then 3 beers on a empty gut wait 2 hours eat something then go home ........that is about 3 hours of public time then back home or to a place u feel good at

[venusss]

is your urge to self-harm anyhow connected to your weight gain?

[Wander]

That's tough Miguel'sMom. Is it possible to just take the meds to deal with the symptoms until you see your pdoc next. A little weight gain with the hope of being able to reduce it again soon may be your best bet. It is entirely up to you. I really feel for you as I have had to suffer significant weight gain to find stability. This was very tough for me but I never had an ED, so it must be so much worse for you. Take care

[Victoria'smom]

Originally Posted by venusss

is your urge to self-harm anyhow connected to your weight gain?

No but it could be because of the Prozac. Last time I was on it I tried to give myself a tummy tuck.

[A Red Panda]

Is there any chance that the feeling of a lost personality is just that you aren't used to yourself being more stable, as opposed to really depressed or dealing with different levels of mania or psychosis?

[Victoria'smom]

What makes it worse I think is that in your head you are one person, but you cannot project that person outwardly, and you come across dumb, stupid, lame ete. That leads to frustration, which in turn only makes things worse. Maybe that was just me. You explained my situation perfectly. T calls it "flat".
you are feeling more stable. I think I'm "to" stable at least mood wise. This other crap is BS.

Justugh- The weight gain will level out?

I don't see him until the 28 of February I'm going to ask to see him monthly.

Is there any chance that the feeling of a lost personality is just that you aren't used to yourself being more stable, as opposed to really depressed or dealing with different levels of mania or psychosis? Yes it is but I don't think I can live like this long term.

[prepsychmel]

I am on 30mgs of Zyprexa and I have gained 80lbs on it. We are now weaning me off of it and I can't wait.

[~Christina]

Revisit the "does the SI and weight gain have a connection" ? When a med was causing my anorexic self to gain weigh I flipped and increased my SI as my need to "control" was jacked up.

I think you have been so ramped up for so long and all summer you were all over the country and moving and planning etc .. You were use to being all wound super tight .. Then Zyprexa is introduced and it took you from 200mph to say a nice steady 45 .. Thats how it hits most people. Remember BipolarRn talking about how it worked for her ??? a few months down the road she was good to go and actually LOST weight that she had gained on Zyprexa and other meds. Maybe shoot her a PM ??

I know your hating on how your feeling right now, but I hope you just give it some more time, I would bet your mind and body could use a break from the frenzied state it has been in for a really long time..

As for the weight , Yes its an issue for most people , but with Anorexia on board its ramped up X a million.. That's why I advise you to rethink the possible connection of Si and weight gain.

I do not think your personalty is gone for good.. I think its just taking a break to adjust to the medication.

Anyway, thats just my thoughts about your current situation, since I have been there done that and bought the Tshirt no less !

[Victoria'smom]

So for about the last year I've been mixed with psychosis trying to function? I lowered my dose to half (I'm allowed to) again. I've been on zyprexa for a month-ish. How long do I give it?

[Eva33]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

No but it could be because of the Prozac. Last time I was on it I tried to give myself a tummy tuck.

Oh my! I hope it healed well?

My medications have dulled my personality a bit too. Sometimes my mania-comedian is still there, but for the most part when someone asks me how I'm doing, it's usually just, "Not good but not bad." My therapist always asks me how I'm feeling today and I frequently tell her I don't feel much of anything.

[Victoria'smom]

It healed fine but that's when my therapist started to push an anti psychotic.

[~Christina]

I honesty would give it a 3 month trial.. I know, don't . If you survived a year of mixed with psychosis, you can give this med another 2 months.