[Victoria'smom]

In talking to my husband I realize I'm portraying myself as being much healthier then I am. It made me feel like a liar. Usually we are very honest about our day to day issues. This left my wondering how much everyone shares their daily struggled with their significant other? Is there a reason why you choose to share what you choose?

[Wander]

Good question. I tend to be honest but tone it down a bit as my boyfriend has anxiety issues and would freak out if he knew how I was some of the time. My moods are constantly changing and it would be a rollercoaster for him to keep up with it all. He is not dumb though and does notice the swings more often than not. Of course if I am really bad, or in danger of harming myself I do tell him so he can help keep me safe, or take me to the doctors/hospital. At the moment I am falling into a mixed state so I have told him so he is aware things could go south quickly. He is very supportive and helpful. I am so lucky to have him.

[Love&Toil]

My husband checks in with me frequently if he knows I am going through a rough patch.

There are times he asks how I'm doing and I tell him, "I don't want to catalogue my complaints!"

Other times it helps to be able to say where I'm at.

At my worst I was honest about where I was at. At times my behaviour just gave things away too.

Is there any reason you are holding back from your husband right now Miguel'smom?

[Victoria'smom]

Originally Posted by Love&Toil

Is there any reason you are holding back from your husband right now Miguel'smom?

I mentioned an intrusive thought and how T wants me to take everything at face value. Stuff that I thought was common knowledge. Turns out I forgot to inform him about those things. Now he's sleeping holding onto me.

[otroo]

I tend to hide some of my more scary thoughts from my wife one reason I do that is I don't want to scare her and the main part for me is my pride cause I feel like a weak man by telling her what I really feel. My other concern is my wife is a mental health specialist aka a RN at a mental health hospital and also a drug and alcohol facility and I don't want her to come home to another patient.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Moogieotter]

My loving and supportive wife has been a major player in my stability and happiness. She carried me through many difficult times and is well educated on the illness. We share and check in with each other all the time.

There are only the absolute most extreme negative thought intrusions that I do not bother to explain in detail. I simply explain that I am having them and we get through it together.

Other than this, she knows all my meds, appointments, sleeping habits, moods, etc. When I am stable and strong, like I am now, I do my best to carry the load for her mood challenges and stresses.

Thanks,

moogs

[Resident Bipolar]

He knows everything about my condition, history, etc. However, when I'm in the middle of an episode I still try to put on a sort of façade and that drains me. I don't know why. I just don't feel comfortable talking about it with anyone, including my partner. At least not face to face.

[Eva33]

I don't have a significant other but I do have a very close friend whom I've lived with for 3 years now. She knows everything and she's very supportive and she listens to me when I need to talk about things and I don't feel judgement from her. That's what a supportive relationship should be.

Now, if I was dating someone, I have absolutely no idea how I'd even approach the subject. Part of me says, "Tell them from the get-go because they may not want to deal with the ups and downs I go through." Another part of me says, "My medication is managing me well, so maybe they won't even notice." I'm torn on the subject.

[LacunaCoiler]

I'm a very closed up kind of person and I tend to keep things to myself (the gf hates it btw). I only share with her when things get either too bad or too overwhelming, then I just need to get it out before I fall apart. Luckily for me, my gf is really observant and has a pretty good read on me to tell when I'm off.

[gayleggg]

I only share up to a point, because my husband tends to think he knows whats best for me and lectures me if I let him know to much about how I feel. Too, I don't think he really understands, so I keep quiet until I can't hide my feelings anymore.

Like yesterday I got a lecture about calling my doctor when I already have an appointment set and don't feel I need to call at this point.

[cashart10]

It depends on mood. If I am really bad I tend to keep it to myself. When I am suicidal, he gets very accusatory (Are you threatening to kill yourself?!) and tends to tell me to shake it off. I tell him things because I need to but he doesn't get it.

[wing]

Originally Posted by otroo

I tend to hide some of my more scary thoughts from my wife one reason I do that is I don't want to scare her and the main part for me is my pride cause I feel like a weak man by telling her what I really feel. My other concern is my wife is a mental health specialist aka a RN at a mental health hospital and also a drug and alcohol facility and I don't want her to come home to another patient.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I so relate to this. My husband sees psych patients every day, and I don't want to add to his burden. He does know my safety plan and gets it going if either of us sense an episode.

The everyday stuff I leave with friends. My professional team hears the rest of it. It's what they get paid for.

[~Christina]

Okay , I have gotten kinda slammed over my feelings and statements on this before

So this is just how I manage my Bipolar and relationships.

I do not allow Bipolar to take up alot of space in my marriage, same as my Fibro doesn't take up much space . Why????? Spouses, significant others and friends can really get burned out just hearing it a lot.

Being in acute Crisis is a different story of course.

I do "hide" a lot from my husband... Why??? Men in general are "fixers" he can't "fix" it. I just don't talk about my Bipolar or how I had a rough morning or I felt insecure or maybe a bit paranoia here and there or if my hallucinations are actually bothering me... Why tell him lil blips I deal with all the time ?? If I am in a real mess and I am actually "worried" about how I am handling things ? That is when I will give him a heads up and we have a conversation and I am 100% honest. During those kinda of times.. Yes Bipolar is a topic over dinner and we discuss and agree on a game plan to handle things.

My Fibro chronic pain ? Really I don't need to tell him daily that I hurt or even on my most horrible days, He can see it, there's Nothing he can do so why should I burden him with me talking out loud about it. He has broken his back 3 times and he has pain 24/7 also, He seldom talks about it as I am with my Fibro... We hug and kiss daily, I guess that is our way of silently showing each other that we are there for each other. No words are needed. If one of us does need to talk about it, it happens.

I have made amazing friendships here and we lean on each other when we need someone to vent rant an rave or have a shoulder to cry on... because they "really get it"

Again, I choose to manage my Bipolar this way. It's talked about when it needs to be.... Meanwhile, I just go about my daily life.

[Secretum]

I don't have a partner, but my parents really want me to tell them when things get bad. Last time it got really bad, I called them from the psych ER to tell them I was being admitted-they had no idea that I was struggling! It scares me more than anything to open up to someone and make myself vulnerable.

MM, it is really sweet that your H holds you while you sleep. Shows that he loves you and cares about you and wants you to stay around.

[THE16THDOCTOR]

Mine knows about my struggles and how intense it gets with panic and depression but I do keep certain things to myself like self harm thoughts or anything along those lines. She knows abt that part of me but I don't share anything more than the basic

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Okay , I have gotten kinda slammed over my feelings and statements on this before

So this is just how I manage my Bipolar and relationships.

I do not allow Bipolar to take up alot of space in my marriage, same as my Fibro doesn't take up much space . Why????? Spouses, significant others and friends can really get burned out just hearing it a lot.

Being in acute Crisis is a different story of course.

I do "hide" a lot from my husband... Why??? Men in general are "fixers" he can't "fix" it. I just don't talk about my Bipolar or how I had a rough morning or I felt insecure or maybe a bit paranoia here and there or if my hallucinations are actually bothering me... Why tell him lil blips I deal with all the time ?? If I am in a real mess and I am actually "worried" about how I am handling things ? That is when I will give him a heads up and we have a conversation and I am 100% honest. During those kinda of times.. Yes Bipolar is a topic over dinner and we discuss and agree on a game plan to handle things.

My Fibro chronic pain ? Really I don't need to tell him daily that I hurt or even on my most horrible days, He can see it, there's Nothing he can do so why should I burden him with me talking out loud about it. He has broken his back 3 times and he has pain 24/7 also, He seldom talks about it as I am with my Fibro... We hug and kiss daily, I guess that is our way of silently showing each other that we are there for each other. No words are needed. If one of us does need to talk about it, it happens.

I have made amazing friendships here and we lean on each other when we need someone to vent rant an rave or have a shoulder to cry on... because they "really get it"

Again, I choose to manage my Bipolar this way. It's talked about when it needs to be.... Meanwhile, I just go about my daily life.

I think this is the way I handle mine too. When I know there's nothing he can do, it's like why bother talking about it? I might say I'm just a little depressed today or something like that, but only if he bothers me.

However if I am getting unsafe I will share with him so he can take safety measures like holding my medication for me. Then he is usually super supportive.

He is the same way about his addiction issues. He will tell me if we are in a triggering situation so we can get out of it but he doesn't disclose on a daily basis.

So I'm with you Christina.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Okay , I have gotten kinda slammed over my feelings and statements on this before

So this is just how I manage my Bipolar and relationships.

I do not allow Bipolar to take up alot of space in my marriage, same as my Fibro doesn't take up much space . Why????? Spouses, significant others and friends can really get burned out just hearing it a lot.

Being in acute Crisis is a different story of course.

I do "hide" a lot from my husband... Why??? Men in general are "fixers" he can't "fix" it. I just don't talk about my Bipolar or how I had a rough morning or I felt insecure or maybe a bit paranoia here and there or if my hallucinations are actually bothering me... Why tell him lil blips I deal with all the time ?? If I am in a real mess and I am actually "worried" about how I am handling things ? That is when I will give him a heads up and we have a conversation and I am 100% honest. During those kinda of times.. Yes Bipolar is a topic over dinner and we discuss and agree on a game plan to handle things.

My Fibro chronic pain ? Really I don't need to tell him daily that I hurt or even on my most horrible days, He can see it, there's Nothing he can do so why should I burden him with me talking out loud about it. He has broken his back 3 times and he has pain 24/7 also, He seldom talks about it as I am with my Fibro... We hug and kiss daily, I guess that is our way of silently showing each other that we are there for each other. No words are needed. If one of us does need to talk about it, it happens.

I have made amazing friendships here and we lean on each other when we need someone to vent rant an rave or have a shoulder to cry on... because they "really get it"

Again, I choose to manage my Bipolar this way. It's talked about when it needs to be.... Meanwhile, I just go about my daily life.

This is awesome. Sometimes I feel like I need to shut up. I just don't tell mine things anymore because he doesn't understand. He is a wonderful husband and I love him very much but since my bipolar has an ability to make me frequently impaired and sometimes insane, he resents it and sometimes me. I used to talk about it all the time but I think inside he was screaming "enough already!", so I stopped. My symptoms still come between us sometimes but I know it is frustrating to deal with mental illness and he sometimes thinks I need to pull up my boot straps (sometimes I do too). I do tell him when I need to also and unfortunately that can sometimes be all too often in itself. This is why I, too, am so appreciative of this site. There are so many people who listen and do understand and offer wonderful advice. It is a necessary release! I need some of your attitude.

[Tiny Dancer]

I tend to keep a lot from my husband. My knee-jerk reaction has always been to lie, to sugar-coat everything and say that I'm fine. Part of it, I know, is embarrassment; I feel that I should be able to handle this. Another part, however, is his response. Like someone posted earlier, his instinct is to "fix" me, and it frustrates him that he cannot.

Also, he has grown to resent my illness (and thus, resent me) over the 8 years that I've known him. In his frustration/anger, he lashes out and can be quite cruel when we argue, or when he sees me exhibit symptoms of depression (he seems okay with the mania!). He thinks that shaming me into going out/socializing or doing things will cause me to "snap out of it." Finally, he just ignores me altogether and goes out alone. Then I feel so empty and lonely that I wonder why he's in my life at all...

...which is why we are now separated. I don't know if telling him more would have helped. I don't know if I showed him too much.

I don't know if my marriage is even fixable at this point. He hates my illness, but says he loves me and would do anything to help me get well. But sometimes I feel that he almost needs me to be sick so he can justify leaving. He's repeatedly said that caring for me is "exhausting" and "not fair" to him, but then is furious that I don't share more with him. At this point, though, I'm afraid to say anything, because I feel like such a burden. Then, I get mad because I have taken care of him through many of his issues and feel that he should buck up and help me out!