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#1
Jan 11, 2015, 08:22 AM
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I hate my birthday. I don't want to celebrate it. I never asked to be born- why do I have to celebrate something I don't care about. (yes- I am sort of depressed right now)
My husband said I need to pretend at least for the night bc of our kids. They love birthdays and celebrating them. I know he is right and that I need to suck it up for a few hours, but it still sucks. 22 years ago on my birthday I came home from work and instead of going to dinner my parents took me to a mental hospital for depression. I had written in my diary that on my birthday I was going to end my life and on advice from my pdoc they had read it. When I am in a better mood I celebrate my birthday as a proud moment- that I have overcome so much. But in this current mood my birthday just pisses me off.
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BP II --200 mg lamictal---900mg lithium---.5 xanax |
 Anonymous45023, gayleggg, Moogieotter, Turtlesoup, wildflowerchild25
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#2
Jan 11, 2015, 08:35 AM
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I hear ya. Most of the rotten things in my life have happened within a couple weeks of my birthday. I hate celebrating it! But if it makes other people happy to recognize it, it's just one day. I can put up with it for one day.
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#3
Jan 11, 2015, 08:37 AM
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I'm sorry you are feeling down right now. I think your husband may have a point about pretending for a few hours, if your kids enjoy the celebration. I know when you feel better you would be glad that the kids were able to enjoy the day. I know it won't be easy. I spent years trying to hide my depression from my daughter, especially on days like birthdays and holidays. It gave me good memories even though I didn't feel up to it at the time.
I'm sorry your parents read your diary. It must have been very hard to know that they did so behind your back. But try to forgive them because they did it out of love to protect you.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
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#4
Jan 11, 2015, 12:23 PM
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My birthday is on Wednesday. Like you, I could care less. Unlike you, I have no one who is going to insist that I celebrate it.
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"Mentally Hilarious" |
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#5
Jan 11, 2015, 04:36 PM
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My birthday is next Monday. Not a lot to celebrate except for the fact that I'm alive, which I might not be if I hadn't gone to the hospital when I did back in October. I'm a lot better now and even though life is hard nowadays, I can handle it. So I guess there really is a reason to celebrate after all.
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
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#6
Jan 11, 2015, 04:43 PM
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birthday celebrations are the biggest waste of time in history of things that are a waste of time.
seriously. seriously. you grow old (just another number), then you have to put up with a stupid cake, and someone singing a stupid song. what's so exciting about getting closer to the end of life anyway. i mean, it's depressing. that's what it is. i've given up celebrating birthdays- i stopped even telling people when my birthday was years ago. (not even anyone knows on here) try and have a good day.. |
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