[cashart10]

When I talk about losing touch with reality, I am usually talking about the worst case I've had, just under 3 years ago. Its' only happened one other time with other various milder delusions scattered in along the years. Trouble is, I miss the delusions and the hyper religiousity. I felt like I was "saved" and I had a deep spiritual connection. I can't seem to regain that, even on a healthy level, not in the way I desire at least. It makes me so sad. Maybe it's just the depression talking, but I don't know what to do about it.

[Risso]

I can understand that, mine was the most profound experience of my life and I never felt so peaceful. Wish I could stay that way forever, never been able to get it back either.

It's happened twice in my life. Just need a revival. I reconnected with my higher power when I attended AA 12 steps. Of course I've lost it since then.

[Curiosity77]

I've had some spiritual experiences that feel very real to me, and at the time were all consuming. For me it was beautiful and terrifying at the same time. I had thoughts that i was fighting demons to get back parts of my soul. Very hard to explain.So life is a lot less painful now, but i miss the intensity of that too. I don't feel much of a spiritual connection now, and i don't know if i can when i am stable. On the one hand i think i was in delusions at the time, but on the other hand it could be that all of that was real, and the life i have now is an illusion. I don't think i could ever fully believe either explanation... Maybe the truth is a bit of both? Maybe those ideas that seemed so real are actually more of a metaphor? Haven't figured it out yet.

[gaway1989]

So, in my worst and most "funny" psychotic episode I thought that I was Isis, a deity from Egypt. 2013, crazy year.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

I've had some spiritual experiences that feel very real to me, and at the time were all consuming. For me it was beautiful and terrifying at the same time. I had thoughts that i was fighting demons to get back parts of my soul. Very hard to explain.So life is a lot less painful now, but i miss the intensity of that too. I don't feel much of a spiritual connection now, and i don't know if i can when i am stable. On the one hand i think i was in delusions at the time, but on the other hand it could be that all of that was real, and the life i have now is an illusion. I don't think i could ever fully believe either explanation... Maybe the truth is a bit of both? Maybe those ideas that seemed so real are actually more of a metaphor? Haven't figured it out yet.

I was casting demons. I was man kinds answer to God. Ummm no I'm not Jesus. I came close.

[quasicrystalline]

I'm lucky my delusions have stayed mild so far in that I never fully lose touch with reality. Just get really, really close. Like I can vacillate between not questioning it at all and having a small doubt about it. Always feels real, though.

I was raised Catholic, and the demons and exorcism stuff kinda wormed itself into my brain. Not always the negative stuff. Once, while I was teen and at this Catholic camp thing, I thought my calling was to be a nun, which couldn't be further from something I'd ever want to do, because I was maybe the reincarnation of Mother Teresa. I didn't know yet. I hadn't done the meditative past life regression thing I'd read about yet, which would totally be 100% against Catholic doctrine, but I wasn't thinking clearly at the time.

There is definitely comfort in religion, but it's kind of funny how being mentally ill makes me doubt it all even more, despite falling back on it at times. I just start to wonder if religious figures themselves were having delusions that got out of hand. Still keep a rosary on hand, though, for when I'm not sure if the demons are real again or not. Definitely miss it. Especially when I believed in it hardcore enough to think it'd keep me safe.