[filthylessons]

Hypersexuality is one of my biggest issues. The urges become so great that it affects my daily life, taking over my mind and my body. It feels like my baser self just takes over. Does anyone else experience this? How do you handle it? Any other people here go through episodes where you feel like a man (or woman, I suppose) eater? Sometimes I feel like I could (and would want to) go through men like tissues without remorse or respect to myself or others. (I feel like I'm rambling. Am I rambling? I hope my point and ideas get across in this mess. I have a lot to express.)

The other part:

In December, I began having a severe episode where I wasn't able to work, I would cry at the drop of a hat and wouldn't be able to stop and had extremely bad suicidal ideation, so I admitted myself to a partial hospitalisation program where I was re-diagnosed as having bipolar II, along with my previous diagnoses of depression, PTSD, panic disorder and general anxiety. My treatment began with going off of Zoloft (200mg/day, no longer taking) and starting Effexor (75mg/day) then adding Trileptal (300mg/3xday) and a larger daily dosage of Klonopin (0.5mg/2xday). I've been living with bipolar II unknowingly for so long that I'm extremely confused. I'm so used to the mindset that comes with the mental illness that I don't know if what I'm feeling is normal or not. I feel unsure about everything from my relationship to my life path. Do I just need time to adjust? Did anyone else experience this? I feel very lost and as though I'm treading on unsteady ground, just waiting for my tentative hold to slip.

[LettinG0]

Originally Posted by filthylessons

Hypersexuality is one of my biggest issues.

I've been living with bipolar II unknowingly for so long that I'm extremely confused. I'm so used to the mindset that comes with the mental illness that I don't know if what I'm feeling is normal or not. I feel unsure about everything from my relationship to my life path. Do I just need time to adjust? Did anyone else experience this? I feel very lost and as though I'm treading on unsteady ground, just waiting for my tentative hold to slip.

Hyper sexuality is not one of my issues, although I have definitely had no no's in that arena enough to understand your point. As for "living with BPII unknowingly for so long and being confused"......I can DEFINITELY relate to that. I have just recently been diagnosed and started medication (and I am old!). I don't know which end is up or what is me and what is the BP....confused and not stable yet. My ground is wobbly too. Just know that I empathize and I hope that you (we) find steady ground before too long.

[filthylessons]

Originally Posted by LettinG0

As for "living with BPII unknowingly for so long and being confused"......I can DEFINITELY relate to that. I have just recently been diagnosed and started medication (and I am old!). I don't know which end is up or what is me and what is the BP....confused and not stable yet.

It is very difficult. It is very negatively affecting my relationship to a degree at which it may end, and I don't know if I want that or not. One day I'm happy with it (I think), the next day I'm not (maybe?). The person I'm in this tentative relationship with has a really hard time agreeing to give me the time and emotional space I need to figure out my own damn mind and emotions. I've been with this man for going on nine years now, and we have a five year old son. Our relationship hasn't exactly been great, we both have done bad things to one another and he's done some absolutely deplorable things to me that I won't explain more here for fear of triggering someone. Those things have affected me so negatively toward him, even a couple years after the fact, that my hypersexual feelings do not include him. He still refuses to take complete responsibility for those things, claiming that things I have done put him in the mindset where he did those things....

I feel like a confused little girl playing dress-up in mummy's shoes.

[ChaoticSymphony]

I can relate to all of what you're saying. There was a time I couldn't walk through a mall without imagining grabbing the next man I see and dragging him into the bathroom. Or soliciting hookups while my family was in shambles. I fortunately dodged any actual cheating during that time but I was emotionally cheating?? No I didn't have an emotional connection. Not sure what you would call it, enough to get me in trouble and really hurting my husband.

I'm on the constant teetor of do I have bp or do I just have bad coping skills. Then a mood comes out of nowhere (not triggered) and I'm like is this what they mean about mood swings???

[filthylessons]

Originally Posted by ChaoticSymphony

I can relate to all of what you're saying. There was a time I couldn't walk through a mall without imagining grabbing the next man I see and dragging him into the bathroom. Or soliciting hookups while my family was in shambles. I fortunately dodged any actual cheating during that time but...

Finally, someone who knows what I went through on a too-frequent basis! It's so disturbing to have those thoughts about people that you would never think twice about otherwise. After the episode was over I felt disgusted with myself, but during it I was just... oh, it was so awful, I wanted to drag the non-English speaking Mexican busboy from my old workplace into the walk-in and let him ravage me. D:

[Tucson]

During my manic episodes I am very hypersexual. What you describe sounds allot like myself.

[filthylessons]

Originally Posted by Tucson

During my manic episodes I am very hypersexual. What you describe sounds allot like myself.

It's so confusing. How do you cope with it?