How's everyones relationships being bipolar affected?

I'm on my 3rd relationship fiasco. I'm standing accused of being a "Crazy B". My spouse has been moving stuff to storage saying I'm too much. It doesn't help none that my bipolar was untreated all this past year even though I took my meds everyday. They just weren't strong enough.

Breaking up, I should be crushed, but this is our 4th strike out. I can't maintain a healthy relationship. I'm not relationship material it seems. One can dream, but that dream isn't possible for me.

How are yall doing? Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with this bipolar illness?

[Becoming]

Having Bipolar does make relationships very challenging. First off, nobody has the right to be calling you a "Crazy B."

Does he know that you are diagnosed with Bipolar? Is he familiar with the symptoms?

How's the medicine and coping situation going for you now?

As far as relationships go, I had no idea how much my emotional problems could effect a relationship until my last one. That really set me on track to better myself because I never want another relationship to be so messed up and to be saying horrible things if we break up.

Don't forget that a relationship takes two people though, He should be understanding instead of calling you names without a doubt.

This being said, I think it is possible if the illness is properly managed. If you haven't yet, I recommend checking out some Bipolar workbooks and reading as much as you can to help yourself. In the end, you're the only one who can really commit to helping yourself battle a mental illness that will unfortunately be around for life.

Originally Posted by Rachael_S

Having Bipolar does make relationships very challenging. First off, nobody has the right to be calling you a "Crazy B."

Does he know that you are diagnosed with Bipolar? Is he familiar with the symptoms?

How's the medicine and coping situation going for you now?.

Thank you. I'm not hurt by it. I'm very stabile now because of the med increase. Looking back, I was way out there, hysterical like. I can't blame em. There's no guarantee I'd not get this way again, matter of fact I guarantee I'll be like this again. Lol. We have other issues, but this one cinched it for us. Oh well.

[~Christina]

It can be difficult maintaining a healthy relationship with Bipolar in the mix , but it's very possible , if both people are present for their part and accountability and respect is a must have in a relationship Bipolar or not.

My Bipolar is really only brought to my husband attention when I am having a hard time up or down, other wise its just not part of our daily life. I am able to hide things very well. I can be 5 mins from a suicide ( that is where friends come in , see below) and by looking at me I appear to be fine. That's a good and bad thing.

If I just need to vent or dump my Bipolar crap I depend on my Bipolar friends , they will understand in a way my husband "can't" no matter how hard he tries. That is why I always tell people to find other Bipolar people and build friendships either here and/or in person.

It's very easy to burn out a spouse or S/O if someone is constantly stuck on sharing BP or not working as hard as possible to contain BP . In a crisis? well there isn't much you can do to hide it. Then your partner is going to be dealing with it and the aftermath and hopefully will be supportive.

I personally set up hurdles to say getting my hands on money that can not be blown on manic highs. I have my BP friends that can talk me off the ledge or tell me the ledge is too narrow when " I " can't see it and I need either my T now ! or that based on their thoughts I need to go IP

None of this is foolproof , My late life diagnosis and the process of find stability has been tough on my marriage at times , but somehow we muddled through the hard stuff. I take full ownership of Bipolar.

Im struggling at the moment. In crisis and draining my boyfriend. He cant handle me suicidal but doesnt like me in hospital either cos then he cant see me... Only last night he finally admitted he couldnt handle it anymore and I need professional help.

But Im doing what many bi polar people do and tweeking my meds in the hope I can stay home. Although home is not a nice place at the moment. I cant clean, I've got some food but I dont think I am safe enough to cook. I havent eaten properly since the last time I saw my boyfriend 4 days ago. He said he had important washing to do...

[otroo]

I am on my second marriage and the divorce from my first marriage was cause my ex cheated on me. My wife and I have been together for almost 18 years married for 17. I am lucky to have found a very patient and understanding wife now there were moments of being together that was very dark because I was untreated and would become psychotic at time now I never touched her but I got pretty good at dry wall repair. It is funny though that my wife is now a psych nurse.

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[Mrs. Mania]

I'm lucky to have such a compassionate spouse, and it helps that he is my bff. The last year we have talked about my bipolar a lot, most the time he is a good soundboard. However, there are some things he just doesn't get

[Victoria'smom]

I'll post a full response tonight. Yes, my husband and I have been together 13 yrs and we both have bipolar. We make it work.

[TRNRMOM]

i'm 68, hubby is 67 and we'll be celebrating 29 yrs. marriage (2nd marriage for both) in feb. went thru typical 2nd marriage issues early on with young daughter and 2 step-kids but we got into couples and individual therapy and over the years most of those issues resolved. i think a key component is to learn everything about your illness and what your particular triggers are and then educate hubby. of course taking meds. regularly is a must but over time we've managed the manias and insomnia (i don't have depression) and i always communicate with him telling him where i'm `at' with my illness…sometimes i need to isolate, not have too much stimulation (t.v., music, etc.) and so far our marriage is strong and healthier than most other couples' marriages where there isn't a mental illness component. this of course is my own personal experience and i've brought a lot of humor, sarcasm, wit, insight, perception into the marriage which have been a plus, and he is the stable, grounded person who has the patience of a saint…and i always tell him how lucky i am to have him in my life and how i appreciate him. those are things any couple should be doing and saying to each other, even without adding mental illness to the marriage.

My husband and I have been married almost 5 years. 3rd marriage for him; 2nd for me. When we met, I was able to truthfully say to him "I have bipolar disorder, but I've been stable for a long time." He's never seen me manic, but over the past year I've been anywhere from mildly to severely depressed. I've also been unemployed for a year.

He is kind of frustrated that I don't do more around the house and that I'm not working, but he hasn't waivered in his commitment. He has driven me the hour to ECT at 6 in the morning on a work day for him more days than I can count. I feel blessed to have him as my husband because I know very well that not everyone would understand/put up with it.

I do agree with Christina though. I have friends, who happen to have bipolar or depression themselves, whom I share with details of how my illness is affecting me. My husband can see very clearly how it's affecting me, but for the best support I turn to people who can truly understand.

Thanks yall. I'm alone here in my bubble. I have no one like me here that I can talk to. My partner doesn't care enough about me. He isolates himself away from me and my son (not his). We are more roommates if anything else. I see him maybe a couple times a day when he goes outside to smoke or when he's leaving to go to the beer store. We haven't slept together in 6 months. I crave so much more from a relationship than what we are having. I've talked and complained, going nuts this past year without any control didn't help matters none. It's over. I'd rather be by myself then be in a relationship alone.

All my other relations were crazy, but I was untreated bipolar then without a diagnosis. I didn't get diagnosed till we were 2 years into our marriage. I think there's a bit of resentment there. Something I can't help.

[LDB1]

I'm in pretty much the same predicament. I isolate myself because that's what I've always done. On top of BP and everything else I'm an extreme introvert. My marriage ended because of BP and I have no one to talk to that understands or really even cares that much. The few friends I had bailed when I went inpatient and diagnosed because they think I'm "crazy" now.

I was in a relationship for about 3 months after the divorce, she was so judgmental and firm in her idea about how "her man" should behave that I had to bail because she caused way more stress than I could handle.

I pretty much sit in my room, by myself, and stress over everything. I'm lonely but unwilling to try the whole relationship thing again, even if I could find someone who was interested.

[meganb22]

I'm so sorry your relationship didn't work out I have found that even having healthy relationships with family and friends is hard sometimes with bipolar. I have these moods where I could just go off and the people closest to me usually get the brunt of it. I am lucky because the people in my life have been dealing with my wild moods for years and years, so they kinda know what to expect and how to help. But I truly believe you have to surround yourself with people who can understand what you are going through and who love you regardless if you have bipolar or anything else.

I think if you have an honest talk with the people in your life and explain what is going on, what you go through and how you feel, it will enlighten them a little. It will take work on both sides to make a relationship work- regardless the type. I believe communication is the key. If you can be open and honest about what you are feeling and your thoughts, then there isn't any miss- communication. Of course, all of this is easier said then done, but that's my two cents.

When all is said and done, relationships that aren't burdened with bipolar are really hard. But when you are with the right person, it will work. Don't give up hope!

[Victoria'smom]

Currently my husband and I aren't really talking. We're both currently depressed. He's my best friend and I treat him so. If I'm being an *** and realize, I start doing nice things like I would do for a friend who's dating an ***. It doesn't mean I'll stop being an ***. I'll just be an *** that shows that even through everything I still care. He does the same. We can't promise we wont fly off the handle, spend rent, become suicidal, or psychotic but in our moments of clarity we can hold each other, tell each other we love them, and do little special things.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Currently my husband and I aren't really talking. We're both currently depressed. He's my best friend and I treat him so. If I'm being an *** and realize, I start doing nice things like I would do for a friend who's dating an ***. It doesn't mean I'll stop being an ***. I'll just be an *** that shows that even through everything I still care. He does the same. We can't promise we wont fly off the handle, spend rent, become suicidal, or psychotic but in our moments of clarity we can hold each other, tell each other we love them, and do little special things.

Oh how sweet! I hope you both get to feeling better soon. You've got that which I've only hoped for. There's still time, but I'm not worried. I need to work on me first.

[Pikku Myy]

Dating again now at age 50... Catastrophic I was not like this before and now just seem to cause chaos. Not easy to muster thru emotions. Wish you good luck.

[BastetsMuse]

I'm on marriage #2, having already done my "training marriage" of 15 years (I needed a lot of training). When things got rocky this time around, I insisted that we both go to counseling (something hubby#1 wouldn't do) and that saved us.

In my first marriage, everything was my fault because I was bipolar. That isn't true even with the extra problems bipolar causes. In my marriage now, we communicate constantly and this fixes 98% of our problems. We've been together for 8 years, married for 6, and really getting good at being married for 2 years.... which just happens to be the amount of time that I've been on Geodon, too.

My best advice about relationships is to be honest about them and don't give up on them; also, try and remember that relationships don't just mean PARTNERS. Relationships include friends and internet buddies too.