[Ruftin]

spent a lot of money to find birth father

he did not reply, probably threw letters from the adoption agency in the toilet

he finally responded to a call from the social worker

stated he has no malice towards my sister and I but he didn't want to revisit the bad memories of his life with us and my birth mother who apparently suffered from schizophrenia.

my sister and I were approximately 2 and 3 years old. What bad memories could we have given him????

i'm just a bad memory to him.

i'm so hurt.

I'm sorry to hear of this. I know what it feels like though, as my father walked out on me and my mother when I was really young. To this day I still have not heard a word from him. I don't know what it feels like to be rejected in the manner that you have, but I know how much it hurts not to have him there. I hope that you can find some comfort after this. Just know you aren't alone and I really hope that you can find peace though this. I know its hard, I still havent found peace, but we can continue to strive for it.

[Ruftin]

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

I'm sorry to hear of this. I know what it feels like though, as my father walked out on me and my mother when I was really young. To this day I still have not heard a word from him. I don't know what it feels like to be rejected in the manner that you have, but I know how much it hurts not to have him there. I hope that you can find some comfort after this. Just know you aren't alone and I really hope that you can find peace though this. I know its hard, I still havent found peace, but we can continue to strive for it.

just when you think you cannot be hurt so deeply again, it catches you on your blindside.....i guess the wall I built wasn't high enough....

thank you so much for your encouragement...it helps greatly to know im not alone...

[Mountainbard]

I'm so sorry this happened, Ruftin. I think the bad memories are probably memories of the time, and not you and your sister specifically. I understand you are hurt; I also know that family sometimes behave in ways that hurt us more than any friend (or stranger) ever could. Hang in there-- sending you some good positive energy.

[Justugh]

sorry it played out like this for u
but i see it in a different view point then u do
if the guy did not want to reach out and find out what is going on with his own blood he has no redeeming values as father and u got off lucky never knowing or dealing with a man like that .......i seen a father infect own son with hep c so he would not have a better life then him (the father)......one son turned out just like him (son had a kid and she is smart full pay for college just on her grades at 16 the son refused to sign the papers because he did not want his kid to be smarter then him ...at 18 she left home and is a porn star now.....i been a good friend have not asked her porn name ).......the other son is my oldest friend in the world he was the one infected with hep c because he refused to be like his father so he attacked him and infected him .......he left did not talk to the man for 7 years then tried it again 2 years ago and father just ripped him off and stole cash from him ......since then the son has moved 3 times and refuses to deal with his father or his brother (if i was allowed i hurt them both for being scum of planet )

i am sorry for the hurt u feel at this point ..........but it could of been worst
the only reason now to even make contact would be to get medical family history from his side ..........for your sister incase she wants kids ....or one of u guys show up with a rare something

[Ruftin]

Originally Posted by Justugh

sorry it played out like this for u
but i see it in a different view point then u do
if the guy did not want to reach out and find out what is going on with his own blood he has no redeeming values as father and u got off lucky never knowing or dealing with a man like that .......i seen a father infect own son with hep c so he would not have a better life then him (the father)......one son turned out just like him (son had a kid and she is smart full pay for college just on her grades at 16 the son refused to sign the papers because he did not want his kid to be smarter then him ...at 18 she left home and is a porn star now.....i been a good friend have not asked her porn name ).......the other son is my oldest friend in the world he was the one infected with hep c because he refused to be like his father so he attacked him and infected him .......he left did not talk to the man for 7 years then tried it again 2 years ago and father just ripped him off and stole cash from him ......since then the son has moved 3 times and refuses to deal with his father or his brother (if i was allowed i hurt them both for being scum of planet )

i am sorry for the hurt u feel at this point ..........but it could of been worst
the only reason now to even make contact would be to get medical family history from his side ..........for your sister incase she wants kids ....or one of u guys show up with a rare something

We made contact for medical our history. I just didn't think of rejection as an option because I really wasn't trying to start a relationship with him. In everything give thanks I always say....Like you said, not knowing him is probably a good thing so I will give thanks for this. Thank you for your response.

[Justugh]

knuckle bump

[pepper2009]

Some men don't consider the human beings they created with their ex's have value and emotions. There are too many cases of men walking away from their children because they don't want to deal with the mothers. I don't know if this will lessen the wound he inflicted upon you. You are a good person and do not deserve this cold treatment. You are in my thoughts.

[Ruftin]

Originally Posted by pepper2009

Some men don't consider the human beings they created with their ex's have value and emotions. There are too many cases of men walking away from their children because they don't want to deal with the mothers. I don't know if this will lessen the wound he inflicted upon you. You are a good person and do not deserve this cold treatment. You are in my thoughts.

He has a new wife with two new children. Perhaps he doesn't want them to know about his past life. I have to respect his wishes. I wonder if he thinks of the 6 kids he left behind?