[Nammu]

The mental health suport worker came by today.
I haven't been doing that well lately. I'm very frustrated, I was doing fine then last week for no apparent reason I started getting irritated and having crying spells all for zero reasons. No sad, happy commercials or anything. Fustrated because I'm getting out, going to cardio workouts, yoga and tai chi...so where is this coming from, I feel like just crashing my car and throwing things.

So she was giving me options like calling for a sooner Pdoc appointment, walk in appointment or the psych emergencyservices. I feel like that's a bit much, I'm not suicidal. Just feeling implusive and irritableness. My fear is if I go in they'll throw me in the hospital. She claims they don't do that any more but she kept bring up the idea that they would have a crisis team evaluate and it wouldn't nessisarly be involuntary, they could call around and find a place that would be calmer than the regular place.
I know I'm having a hard time, it's out of the blue I'm on meds almost a year now and logically it would be wiser to seek the doctor out to ask about meds changes but the way she talked I'm afraid to.
Hope this raving makes sense. I don't know what I want I just know fear is in control.

[pegasus]

((( sidestepper ))) It's ok to seek help when you need it.

[Nammu]

I've been reading some of the other posts, is it true that not getting good sleep messes with everything? I've been taking 2(its approved) of the ambian but I'm not still not sleeping long, could that be all it is?

[pegasus]

Well, not being able to sleep or constant waking would mean you are not getting the REM sleep that you need. Not sleeping well can be part of the symptoms and then if you have several days of no sleep that can cause huge problems. So, if this is one of your symptoms then you need to mention it to your doctor.

[wildflowerchild25]

I know lack of sleep messes with me a lot. Makes me really irritable. So it could be causing some of your distress. Personally I wouldn't go to the hospital unless you feel like you're going to hurt yourself, but that's only because they NEVER let me go lol. I would however seek your doctor's help. If you're not suicidal I wouldn't worry about being hospitalized against your will.

[Nammu]

I think it's the impulses that worried her. I choose not to go anywhere today because the way people drive is setting me off. Normally Im ok with the bad driving around here, but the last few days I've reacted by pulling out and roaring past the ***** holes. I feel like I'm putting my own invisable straight jacket around myself to not throw things.

I didn't even think about the lack of real sleep as a symptom snice I'm falling asleep, it's just the staying asleep that's causing problems. Guess I should add that to the things to watch for

I'm going to call in the morning to see if I can see the Pdoc sooner or do the walk in thing. I can't take much more of this. I blame myself though I feel like there s something I could have done to prevent it. Don't know what though because I've been eating better and going to workouts...I just feel so helpless ....maybe it's just that I don't want this damn illness

I like naps

[alincdytyourmeds]

Sleep what is that?

[Nammu]

My Pdoc has an appointment for next week, it's managable, I'll do what ever I need to to make it until then. If that means staying home because I can't trust myself not to get super irritated with other drivers, then that's what I'll do, stay home. I did sleep better last night and that's made a noticeable difference today.