Hi I am new here I have been diagnosed with bipolar I have anexity and panic attacks as well I haven started my medication yet bc I am breastfeeding still but I was prescribed Effexor my husband is few up with my mood swings I'm scared I am going to lose him due to my disease my life is a constant roller coaster i feel all alone and feel like nobody understand what I am going through please help I am scared to tell any of my friends that I am bipolar bc I don't want to lose them as well sometimes I feel like a freak :/ my family tries to support me I think I'm draining every one and feel like a burden sometimes I feel like my husband is better off leaving me and my son bc I can't even control this disease and he wouldn't have to put up with my manic and mood swings it's just a really hard

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi Sky, I have just met you in new members introduction, its good to see you here on the BP Forum.

I understand that you are feeling anxiety and that you are in a situation medication wise because you are still breastfeeding.

You are scared of the repercussions this is having on your relationship with your husband, which is understandable, it can be hard for us to explain what we go through and feel and our insecurities.

Personally, I do not disclose my diagnosis to friends. However, I also know of plenty of BP people who do.

For people who love you, you are not a burden, you think this way, because you are currently struggling and your thought thinking is not quite clear.

You will find ways to manage this and hopefully reduce the symptoms, and you will have your pdoc as back up support to help you. Therapy would be useful too.

Hang in there Sky101!

[UpDownMiddleGround]

Hi Sky, glad you are here. I remember postpartum and breast feeding. That was 12 years ago for me. My husband couldn't see just how bad it was for me; he was too busy working. For me, being undiagnosed and without the care of a support system was a bad place to be. At least when you are diagnosed and you educate yourself, you learn to read signs of what is happening with your body, and you have an explanation that lets you know you not 'making up' what you are feeling. I was diagnosed last year but LORD, I had bipolar disorder then too.

I'm sitting here thinking about how helpful it would have been for me to 1)at least know why I my shifts were so sensitive 2) have a mental health provider or two to contact 3)have a support group that was accessible to me at a moments notice (like this one). My insurance company now has a managed care provider with case managers who can check in with me weekly, help coordinate services and provide linkages to resources that are specific to my needs. I automatically qualified for a case manager bc I had a new BP dx. With my situation, I was able to call my person as well (during the day). I used that resource quite a bit until I was able to get to my first appt with my pdoc. You might want to check to see if that is a resource for you as well.

I've never been one for large groups of friends. Get too many and they become superficial relationships anyway. What makes a good mom is doing everything in YOUR POWER to stay healthy for your baby.

I agree with Hooligan. People who love you will ebb and flow with the tides. They will understand you as just "being Sky." Reality, being oneself what any human can bring to the table. Anything otherwise is smoke and mirrors.

Hang in there Sky. Your baby will thank you for it. Check in often and let us know how you are doing. ((()))

I'm so sorry you didn't have the support back then I can't imagine what you felt I've known something was wrong with me for a long time :/ people have even caught on

This is my first kid and the post partum was so bad!!!! When you already have bipolar it is worse than normal

[UpDownMiddleGround]

Oh, I knew something was wrong as a teenager. My mother dismissed the depression when i tried to talk to her. Some people picked up on the mania at work long before i realized i was doing anything different than anyone else. I was trying to figure out why they couldn't perform like me.

Recently, i was educated by my gyn that the collective 'we' are more sensitive to hormonal shifts. I knew i wasn't making that up. Glad to have confirmation.

With that being said. You may be in store for quite a roller coaster ride. When married, those coasters have two seats. I hope for you that your Husband will choose to buckle in.