[lacerta]

I just cracked and another episode of depression has striked my unprepared. I had been doing good since summer and I thought I'm fine and stable and here it comes. I'm really upset that there's no support around, noone I can tell about my illness, get a hug or cheering up. I sent SMS to my husband telling how bad I feel and asked him to be kind on me and he just answered that I'm threatening him and stupid stuff like that. I have an evening and following weekend ahead and I really don't know how to live through this. I'm waiting for husband to came home, bringing kids from school and I'm afraid I can't handle it. I'm all in tears and having those really bad suicidial thoughts. And then I know the kids need their attention and I know that husband will be angry with every little think the kids or I do wrong.

You aren't alone. At least not here. I know that depression is one of the tougher aspects of bipolar disorder but remember that this is a cycle. It will pass. Can you talk to your doc? He may be able to help you through and possibly out of depression and back on your way to a happy place. But you are most definitely not alone. We have been there and know your pain, and know how this affects a person. I'd hug you if I could. ((hugs))

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

You aren't alone. At least not here. I know that depression is one of the tougher aspects of bipolar disorder but remember that this is a cycle. It will pass. Can you talk to your doc? He may be able to help you through and possibly out of depression and back on your way to a happy place. But you are most definitely not alone. We have been there and know your pain, and know how this affects a person. I'd hug you if I could. ((hugs))

What he said!

[aged2324]

I am tired of being alone too but I'd rather take my chances with the people in my support network than get into a sick relationship. I am tired of unsupported people and husband's can be the harshest critics...come on to this sight and talk to your pdoc. You are loved

[lacerta]

Thank you for the comments and support. I finally visited my p-doc, got lamictal on top of depakote. Got to know I'm in mixed episode again, this time it feels different than ones before as I'm crying much and laughing much and very energetic, previous episode were more on aggressive side. Well, anyone, any ides of how to build support network. I cannot imagine no single person who would be interesed to be involved in my insanity support team. I've worked hard on relationships with some friends/neighbors so that I have a safety plan relating to my children. But I can't tell them I'm bipolar, just can't. No old friends around, no family members other than my husband. Well, thanks to people here for support and understanding.