why cant i just accept it

Its the same story with me year after year. Get sick get tx or hospitalized. Feel better then denounce bipolar and medicine and question if its even real...and then do the same thing all oover again.
I went to pdoc yesterday and said i think i just have MDD bipolar IS overdiagnosed.
He got loud and jumpy "YOU DEFINITELY have bipolar. You are not overdiagnosed. You were just in the hospital for a manic episode!"
It felt like a punch in the gut

Maybe it becomes a problem when the 'label' is ALL we see. We are so much more than any label or even title we put on ourselves or others want to put on us. When my head is clear I can see that in addition to being someone who gets anxious, I am a good employee, a reasonable artist, a dedicated wife, sister, and aunt, ... a loved child of the Universe, etc. When my head is not clear, I get defensive.

That said, if the label is intended to be yours or mine, we have every right to question what someone attempts to put on us. We may come to acceptance of it, or for good reasons, we may not.

I too go through that cycle of belief/disbelief. It's like when I start disbelieving that I'm bipolar, any memory of it disappears. The hospital visit, the manic episodes, the suicide attempts, the whole thing just fades away and I'm convinced that it was all just a big misunderstanding. Even today I still have that little thought in the back of my mind that it's not real. I think that all falls under the title of "delusions".

I think you have a point about dropping the worry over the label...i can do that
But facing a lifetime of meds is another story
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Yes!!!!! This is me!!!!
Makes me crazy

Not for nothing, but I don't blame you for feeling like it was a punch in the gut if he got loud and jumpy about it.

Your pdoc would probably hate me. I'd have asked what his dx is that excuses him for reacting like that with his patients.

jacky

I denounce some of my disorders at different times too.

Not sure why I do.

But I just wanted to let you know.

Thx guys!!! Yeah my pdoc is very....straightforward i guess velouria lol
Thnks hooligan for making me feel not alone
I was doing so well..,,,this just....blows lol

In my intro, part of it was accepting my Dx and moving along with it.

Throughout my teen years, I was Dx'd as depressed. Eventually was given AD meds that seemed to make things worse. And ended up coming off them. About 8 Years ago, I was finally Dx'd Bipolar, and was told that the reason AD meds seemed to make it worse is they CAN make Bipolar worse.

I denied it. Actually told the Pdoc at the time SHE was crazy.

A year ago, after some conversations with some people and a recommendation for a Pdoc, I went. Prescribed Depakote, took it for 3 months and then again, nope... not me.

2 weeks ago, after a co-worker made a comment about me being bi-polar, I went back. She told me she sees this with bipolar individuals a lot, and expected me back in a year. She was right LOL.

Right now, I am accepting.

It's a very hard part of the disease - to accept it. Every time I have periods of being normal, I feel I'm cured and that no following episodes will occur. Also I think very often that my docs are wrong etc.

I had very strong feeling that my dx was wrong so I confronted my pdoc last month and he jumped down my throat "your bp1 and I would stake my license on it ". Like you a gut kick , this month he was nicer but still sure of his dx, just the change in his demeaner made it easier to accept, I am giving up my hope of false dx, too early to see if this is good or bad . I hope you get to a good place.

Every time I doubt myself, I go through all of the quizzes here on PC and I get low results in all other MI, but high on BP, so that's another way to ground myself

I've had two psychiatrists and a therapist tell me I'm bipolar, but most days I don't believe them.