[stressedmama]

Possible trigger:

I don't know if this signifies the "trigger" warning or not...just wanted to be safe than sorry...so if not I'm sorry.

I'm so done and over with being bipolar. I freaking HATE it! It ruins everything! It intensifies every emotion, amplifies every problem..it is ruining my LIFE! And the symptoms are only getting worse, and more intense. I constantly am feeling like someone is squeezing my chest/throat, I'm stressed out about everything. Tonight I literally FELT my mood flip. It was an actual physical feeling. That's never happened to me before. I was in a fine/decent mood then BANG! Pissed off, angry, depressed, sad, feeling alone, stressed out, anxious....all at one time. I HATE being bipolar, I HATE the meds, I hate the constant unknown, I just HATE. I hate my life, I love the few people I have in my life, but hate my LIFE. Does that even make sense? I don't even know!! I have an amazing boyfriend, who tries for me, but I'm moving out - and into my own place because of the bipolar. I have a PERFECT 15 year old daughter, who loves me like mad, but what am I going to be able to give her for her future when I am having such severe lows it literally hurts to move/get out of bed, or my irritation is so high, the people on the end of the line at work are like nails on chalkboard and I get so angry/frustrated/annoyed so quickly with them (I work at a call center)...I get short with her...she doesn't deserve that...
Right now I'm so full of so many different emotions I don't even know which direction I'm going!! I FREAKING HATE THIS DISEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kaliope]

can i rant right a long with you? i hate it too. i am cycling right now after being stable for so long. i tried checking into the hospital last night after feeling so out of control. i remember once reading a story my teen daughter wrote about my mothers whose brain is head together with elmers glue that melts every time it rains and she falls apart. that really hurt me. i just posted last night about how bipolar sucks..............hang in there.

[violet66]

Everything you have written makes perfect sense to me. I am a single mom of 2 teen girls and I always feel like I am drowning, just barely able to get short breaths of air, barely enough to stay alive. Big hugs to you

I am right there with you guys. It is horrible and unfair and next to impossible to deal with at times.

I am sorry you are feeling pain. Just know that it always changes, right? With bipolar, you are always just one mood away? It is temporary?

Try to stay strong.

[scatterbrained04]

I'm right there with you!! So tired of being bipolar. Creativity is the only good thing to come out of it.

[stressedmama]

Its helpful to be able to come here and vent to those who know what I'm feeling. Thank you so much for being here, and for responding back. It helps. My bf tries, but it's not the same to talk to him as it is to those who TRULY understand/feel/felt what I'm feeling.
Thank you.

[Madison516]

I'm right there with you. This weekend I had a depressive episode, and I'm sitting there bawling for no reason, and my boyfriend tells me it's okay, he loves me, he's here for me. And that is so amazing. But you know the one thing he can't say? I understand. And it is nice to talk to people who get it.