[secretgalaxy]

I don't think I can do this anymore...

The singing in my head, the woman, the people on the roof, the cameras...

I haven't slept in weeks and yesterday I had a severe mental breakdown because my birthday is today and I do not want to be 18. I was so sure that I would time travel back a few days ago and when it didn't work, I wanted to kill myself. My mom is on top of me like a hawk, forcing me to sleep even though the girl in my head won't let me. She makes me turn off the lights and the TV and the TV is a dark portal between our world and the evil world. She thinks that if I sleep everything will be ok but it won't. I was so happy and jittery Wednesday and I even read 400 pages of my book (which is really good by the way) and bike 15 miles with my dog. What happened to my happiness? I am not going to do this anymore. She thinks I should go to the hospital or sleep with her until I magically get better but I don't like any of those options. I love the singing, but sometimes she gets so mad at me and faces stare at me through reflections. If I kill myself I will be reincarnated as a beautiful bird and be my family's guardian. But what if I end up being tortured like the girl in my head? She has been tied up and beaten for centuries and she sings for hope. I am so confused..

[Wander]

Secretgalaxy I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. No one should have to endure such psychic pain. Please do whatever you can to stay safe and please see a pdoc ASAP as you cannot think clearly right now thus will not be making sound decisions. Let you Mum look after you. It sounds like she really cares about you and wants to do anything to help. You cannot trust your thoughts right now and need to be protected. If you feel like you will act on your self-destructive impulses please go to emergency immediately to stay safe. This is serious stuff. You a worth protecting. Take care.

Your mum is right - sleep will definitely help. And it *may* just be a magic cure. Dose yourself with something sedating, sleep a good 10 hours then come back and tell us how you feel. If you went inpatient or to a pdoc this is what they would suggest to you.

[Supersonic]

((((Secretgalaxy))))). Be safe

[secretgalaxy]

Thanks guys. I want to do the right thing, but it is so hard not to listen to the voices. I don't know yet if I will be going ip again or not. I really don't want to. This evening I couldn't stop laughing at nothing, I just suddenly had such a rush of energy. Even now before bed I'm still crazy hyped up. I can't take sleeping pills because they will control my mind and if I have a nightmare, I can't wake up because they won't let me and it's terrifying to me.

[Crazy Hitch]

(((secretgalaxy)))







Yeah the voices suck.

I hate them.

They can be so repetative and almost convincing.

We don't need to give up and give in to the voices.

Yes they are powerful.

But we are always more powerful than they are.

When the voices don't let me sleep I hate that.

It is very hard.

Sure.

We can HEAR them.

But we NEVER OBEY THEM.

If you think they are becoming too powerful; you don't need to listen to their nonsense by yourself.

Ring someone and tell them about this awful stuff they keep saying to you.

I hate voices.

But we must not obey them.

Common Hotline Phone Numbers | Psych Central

[secretgalaxy]

Thank you Hooligan I will try to remember that. The hardest thing is that she is so sweet and her ideas are so awesome. She has been mean before but only one time. And she was sorry for that. The people on the roofs are all nice to me too, so it is hard not to listen at times..