Effect of bipolar depression?

I had my first bout of severe depression in college. Before my depression I had a passion for writing. My college professor had tried to persuade me to pursue a PhD. He felt that my writing skills would be an asset in my chosen field. But the depression hit. It has been almost 16 years since that depression crippled my ability to write. I have yet to regain my interest in writing. I'm always correcting my grammar. I'm terrified of letting people read my writing. My writing left a lot to be desired. Has anyone felt like this after a bout of depression? It was one skill that I treasured.

all my loves ,,hell even hopes or maybes seem to be gone....I have no real desire to do or be anything....I eat (about all I enjoy) I sleep and I work...great life...I quess better than a box,, hahaha...

My one great love was reading.... can't even pick up a book anymore...

at least tigger loves me..for a while I didn't believe it....

I feel this way about music. When I was in high school I would compose loads of songs for many musical groups and a lot of members of my favorite bands at the time told me I had a real knack for composition, even at age 14-15. Unfortunately I composed mostly when I was hypomanic or hyperfocused and after a big depression I just couldn't get back into it. My own band fell apart because of my depression and I couldn't get the motivation to keep going with it. I haven't composed a single song since high school. I rarely even play the 8 instruments I can play. I don't even know if I can still play them properly.

I try to read when I can. However, I tend to lose my concentration after about 20 minutes. Really the only thing I'm passionate about is travel. However, I have to be very careful. In a hypomanic state I bought a plane ticket to visit friends abroad. I really didn't plan it through. So I have to keep myself focused I guess.

RisuNeko...I understand. I mainly liked to write on history and geography. One of my Peace Corps friends said that I should write a historical travel guide to our host country. I was pumped up about it. I started to write. However, this was in a manic phase. I didn't get far. I haven't looked at that project in years.

Depression has killed a lot of things for me. One of mine also being writing. I think it may be one of those things that can be gained back, but it will take lots of forcing myself to write every day to get there. I would love so much to write again. I'm still trying to learn how to put myself back together.

For me I stopped enjoying my normal music.

I've had / am having a similar experience. I used to be a really strong writer and, more importantly, I loved to write - it came easy to me and I felt like it was what I was meant to do in life. Then I entered a Phd program and some combination of that pressure mixed with constant ups and downs has completely depleted my confidence and turned writing into something I usually dread.

(somewhat ironically) I am able to write the way I used when I write about personal experiences related to bipolar - not in terms of narrative/autobiography, but in a more creative/poetic/allegorical sense...like writing about racing thoughts, confusion, even depression.

Maybe you could try to 'open' that part of yourself back up in a similar way?