[okshaye]

This is my first visit to this site. Thought I'd join to be able to talk to some people who might understand.
I've been diagnosed with bipolar, PTSD, anxiety. November 2013 spent time in psych ward for a month.
Was okay or getting by for awhile then I stopped going to doctor again. Missed meds. I was extremely down and out and had hard time doing what I knew I should be doing. So I messed up.
Now I can't get into a dr. here until June. I've been really down. Gaining a lot of weight. Sleeping too much or not enough. Crying. Unstable. Unable to stop constant thoughts. Suicidal thoughts again. No purpose in life. Same stuff as usual.
Guess I just want to know what you all do when you are so depressed and nothing seems worth it? What helps?
I've forced myself out the past few days. Walked. And I can hardly hold back my tears. Feels like I'm dragging dead weight.
Anyway, I don't know what to do but I'm just down and out. And because I messed up I don't have any meds and no doctor, no therapist.
Any suggestions appreciated. Sorry to whine about things but I just wanted to say where I'm at / what my situation is.
Thanks.

Hi okshaye,

I'm so sorry you have been so down. I was there recently and the only thing that helped, was time, pills and more time.

I wish I had some helpful advise. I just want you to know you are not alone. Remember, this too shall pass.

Please take care of yourself. Maybe writing here could help?

Do you have any hobbies you usually enjoy when not depressed?

[Tigertoo]

Hi okshaye,

I Woke up this morning with what I call the "Sads". I can feel the tears just waiting the background. Even my girlfriend coming over hasn't cheered me up but I'm so glad that she is here.

Please, please in the future NEVER miss your doctor appointments and NEVER NEVER not take your meds they are the difference makers.

[lunaticfringe]

Okshaye,

I have been where you are before and I am not far from it now...so I know how it feels.

What helps for me is being conscious of my negative thoughts and just giving myself a break. Allowing myself to take time to recuperate and just find enjoyment in simple things like walks around the neighborhood, nice meals, a tv show. Just give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. You'll be ok but right now you just need some time.

Don't hesitate to bring yourself to the hospital if you feel you can't handle it anymore. There were many times I should have gone to the hospital, like when I would wake up in the morning and cry because I was alive. If the sadness completely overtakes you then please get help.

[ChaoticSymphony]

That's a long time to wait. I'm from Canada and am assuming you aren't so I hope some people here can suggest loop holes so you can get some med relief asap. Only thing I can think of is asking to be put on the cancellation list and letting the receptionist know the urgency of your needing to see someone soon.

My therapist urged me to do at least one thing I would do while feeling ok. Dishes, walks, ect. It helped.

[okshaye]

Thanks for the replies.
I am trying to get into a doctor, but in this town it's hard. Usually very long wait. But it's my fault for missing appt.
The sadness is overwhelming. I'm trying to tell myself it will be okay. Even breathing hurts.
As far as going to the hospital...well, I thought of that several times, but I get scared they'll put me in the psych ward again. I don't have family or friends to help take care of my dog and I can't leave him. So I'm kind of stuck.
Hoping that I can deal with it until I get into the doctor again.

[Crazy Hitch]

(((okshaye)))

Thank you for introducing yourself to us.

Welcome to Psych Central.

This is a great place to be for online support.

There are a number of Forums here at Psych Central that you are free to browse around. Consider this like your personal Library. Nobody knows what you are looking at really. I could be busy reading Charlie Brown and the Chocolate Factory Book right now paging through the Chapter on Oompa Loompas and you wouldn’t know.

So don’t worry about what Books your Read. You are free to Browse all you like. If you feel like it, you are free to enter a Chapter in a Book in this Library that is available to you. You do this by Creating a Post. Research has shown that those who choose to actively Write gain more from their experience in online forums. You are free to choose whether you Browse or whether you Write a Chapter. If you write a Chapter, please anticipate a response to your Chapter that you have contributed towards our Magnificent Library. And in doing so you unconsciously help others Browse our Special Library too and provide members unknown Knowledge that we are not alone. There are so many just like us. We all have a different Chapter to write. Or a different Book to Read. But there are many of us here at Psych Central that keeps this Library of Knowledge alive. Thank you for being a part of this.

If you need any help or support navigating the site please feel free to contact one our Community Liaisons. We will be happy to help you.

May you find the comfort and support that you deserve.

Take care.

Hooli