[MooseintheReeds]

Yesterday and the day before I was suicidal. I felt like a failure and my only option was to leave this world. I chatted with the Suicide Hotline for about thirty minutes and they were able to talk me down. All the while my boyfriend was still asleep in the next room completely unaware of how bad I was feeling at that moment.

Last night, as I layed down for bed I felt this horrible feeling of dread. That nothing will be okay. I woke up this morning after just 7 hours of sleep (I usually sleep nine hours or more) and I am calm. I realize that while my coworkers called me crazy and bullied me and that I lost the best job I ever had things could be a whole lot worse.

I just wish these feelings of calm would stay all the time. I'm so rational right now. I have plans on getting employment. While I have only thirty days to find an apartment or become homeless, I'm not full of the fear I felt just a few days before.

WHY??? What has changed in these moments? Why can't I think logically, rationally all the time?

[HALLIEBETH87]

I do this a lot. Frequently. Mine are intrusive thoughts a lot. I'm sorry to hear this is happening. :/ do you have a t or pdoc to talk to? A therapist could help you find new hoping skills to get thought these bad moments when you aren't calm? If you a serious threat to yourself, I urge you to seek help. You said you have these thoughts then you are calm....it's nice to remind yourself it will go away and be ok again!

[ozzy1313]

Sounds similar to my thoughts. It's scary because we need to never act at the suicidal thoughts bc the calm will eventually follow. At least that's what I try to say to myself. This **** is so difficult and painful. Dbt would say something like we were in the emotional mind vs wise mind. Or some crap. Just starting to work on that.

But big ((hugs)) to you. We are fighters that's for sure.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[lunaticfringe]

I used to experience this except it was in the morning. A feeling of complete dread would overcome me, just a full body feeling of fear...probably anxiety. It probably goes back to fight or flight type of things in our brain...I'm not totally sure. But for me similarly, once I woke up and started my day the feeling would go away and I could think normally. Now I rarely experience anxiety of any kind for some reason. It disappeared a while ago. I think therapy helped a lot for me.

[Victoria'smom]

My nights have always harder. I always say I'll ask for help tomorrow and never do.

[Le Baron]

I have the same feeling very often. I awake the next morning and feel what I guess being being normal must feel. Then I feel like the biggest idiot and am terribly embarrassed, especially if spoke to anyone about the feelings I had the night before.

[awillz12]

I have those very feelings at random times. Once I start feeling better, it's like those thoughts were completely ridiculous and I feel really stupid.

[Crazy Hitch]

(((Mooseinthereeds)))

Hang in there!



Thinking of you!