Happyness vs. Hypomania - What are your signs?

Usually, episodes are easier to analyze in hindsight. Because of this, I want to be able to help myself and others discern hypomania/mania on onset. I am an extremely high self monitor, so this all really is interesting to me.

For me (BPII), it usually starts with short trains of though, vivid colors and walking fast. Not just fast walking, but i feel almost as if i am hydroplaning - floating on by with no real control over my body movements.

Eventually, i develop pressured speech, and literally can not sit still. I will feel like i need to go do something, but that something changes throughout the day until i am exactly where i started.

Sometimes i become very paranoid or even end up in an unresponsive stupor.

How do you discern you hypomania/mania?

I usually get racing thoughts, increased energy, less sleep, and take on a lot of projects. I get really into crafts, drawing, writing, playing guitar, songwriting. All normal interests for me, but I tend to think I'm better at them than I really am I also spend too much money and run myself in debt. Also clean a lot.

Unfortunately, I tend to experience hypomania not like this half the time. The other half of the time I get the racing thoughts (dark in nature), energy, and insomnia in combination with depression.

The racing thoughts are usually the give away for me. Sleep not always because I tend to hate to sleep and fight it.

My biggest clue is I'll get twinges of excitement like lightning shooting through my body from my head to my toes. That's usually a signal that things are about to get pretty freaking intense!

Uh, my spontaneous and usually inappropriate behaviour and when I start acting on them. Sleep pattern is a big one too.

Right now for example. I'm beyond impulsiveness. I'd happily do some coke right now, followed by a binge.

The only things stopping me are A: I've handed over my access to money and basically locked myself in my house and B: Managed to get myself booked in with my psychiatrist because I can tell I'm unwell right now.

And it wouldn't take much to convince me that my ideas and urges are actually a GREAT idea.

Scatter - Having a "good" hypomania half the time must be scary. Just a coin flip. I guess that's the nature of this disorder.. you never really know what's going to happen

AC2 - Hmm.. I wish i had such tingles, or even a headache. That would be awesome but i don't think my body is very good at telling me things i need to know until it's too late.

sorand0m - Props for being responsible. Aside from the blow, heh, but come on.. who would turn down some good Girl??

Oh and music is big for me too. It sounds so ****ing good, and it makes me dance in my apartment and sing at work. I will play techno all day, and maybe some nirvana if i am feeling emotional which is more common for me in such a state of mind

It also helps me block out my obnoxious thoughts

This last horrible mania episode I had felt like it just happened out of no where. One minute happy, next no sleep with racing thoughts that felt like they were screaming in my head, then almost no sleep (like it all went downhill...four hours became three hours became two hours, until at the end I was down to one hour of sleep at night because of the stupid racing thoughts! I'd get stuck on trying to figure out what certain phrases meant. I'd literally stay up all night trying to figure it out!). Just bad bad bad. And then it turned even worse.

But, in hindsight, I realize there were warning signs in advance, and there was a lead up to it. Like I was waking up in the middle of the night (always at the same time), and usually unable to fall back asleep, etc. Some feelings of euphoria. Having urges to do things that I never would have even thought of doing in the past, like shoplifting, etc.

Hahaha i knocked off 3 stores last Sunday when i felt hypomania coming on! And i have never shop lifted before, to my own surprise.

I was so confident I would not get caught! Lol. But then my inner morals snuck in. Stealing is wrong and stuff, so I just couldn't do it.

Be thankful for that inner voice

Yeah i was so confident too, i even made eye contact with an employee as i was ripping tags off of clothes in the clothes rack. He didn't notice. Or maybe he did and was just a Bro who thought it was a Cool idea

Lol. I'm sensitive that way. I'm usually in full swing by then, but that's my first wake up clue to being hypo. Then the blinders come off and then I know.

Oh i see, i misinterpreted. This happens during the intense parts.

Once you know, do you act any differently? Do you tame it? Exasperate it? Ride it and ignore it?

Do you act any differently? I usually tell people i am hypo so that i have a sort of badge that allows me to do whatever i want lol. Also for fair warning i guess. Only when i am actually hypo, i mean. Maybe this goes along the lines of over-sharing, but i don't have a filter anyway so it is hard to tell. Although i do give more personal information when i am hypomanic, i think.

Lol. Im an addict! I go for the rocket ride because it builds fast! It doesn't last long for me though, it's usually over in a few days because of the ultra rapid crap.

I experience that too. I have to be careful with what I listen to. Techno gets me going in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable...I feel good for a bit then start to feel like I'm losing control. I try to listen to more relaxing music or do mediation if I'm struggling.

AC2 - Who isn't addicted to something

If normies knew what hypomania felt like they would do the same thing, me thinks

SnS - I see. Sometimes i try slower music but i usually end up thinking over it and not really being able to pay attention to the song. Although, i think when i listen to nirvana/songs that have some emotional aspects it helps if i am struggling as well, more specifically when in a mixed state like i think i may be in now

This is what I was thinking. Today's a let's go on an adventure day, much to my docs concern. How do we deal with that? Antipsychotics.

Wonderful!

I tend to want to drink alcohol and listen to loud music. I have trouble falling asleep and often feel shaky. I am more prone to mixed episodes these days, so while I feel "high" in some ways, I fall short of indestructible and will break down before I get too high.

I am currently in a cycle and knew it because I was having intense memories about the past that made me want to contact people I haven't spoken to in a long time. I also have to watch how much I drink because one or two drinks can turn into twelve without even thinking about it.

Last night I was feeling pretty good about life and had a couple drinks while listening to music and keeping myself busy (organizing nail polish and yarn). It relaxed me enough that I was able to lay down. But I told my husband I was cycling through mania and he gets weird about it. We met when I was in a manic state and he associated that personality (wild, sex-driven, super happy and outgoing) with who I am. Which, in the end, is just not completely correct. So my "good feeling" mania went to crap pretty fast and I couldn't sleep, because my thoughts were racing about how he judges me and is suspicious and makes assumptions that my good mood are about other people, not him.

Today, I'm low. Mania=over.

I can usually only tell in retrospect whether I was just happy or hypomanic. When I'm in the moment I just flip flop between either view and get all confused. I've been experiencing this all week actually. Just came out of a 10 month long depression and I don't know what state I'm in.

Out of the past 20 days I've slept at all for about 6 days. Which is a red flag. But before I was still feeling depressed. Now I'm getting jolts of intense euphoria at the most random times. Like driving home from work, or walking past a fountain. But I'm not talking fast or too much, or more psychomotor agitation than usual (I had that during depression too), and I'm not like uber happy all the time or anything. Maybe a little more social.

I am in a similar state. I am just on auto pilot with walking talking and acting. Nothing crazy, but just effortlessly being efficient in work and socially.

Don't you hate that? Getting random jolts, and then they go away. I wish i knew exactly what state i am in and exactly where i am going from here.

But it is different every time.

Yeah that's exactly it. I don't know what to make of it.