[Becoming]

I'll be going along in my day pretty much a okay and then therapy comes. I almost always have things to talk about (especially being depressed lately), but I feel worse after leaving sometimes. Today is one of them. On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 been barely depressed to 10 being extremly), I was about a 5 or 6 before therapy and now am about an 8 or 9. I feel so hopeless. My depression is consuming me and yet I'm still meant to function. There is no solution to my lonliness and stress. My therapist didn't know what to say either. She thinks I rely on people too much. I'm just an extrovert and being alone is 1,000 times harder when I'm already depressed. There's no answer. There's no hope. I feel like absolute **** right now. I just want to give everything up.

[lunaticfringe]

I almost always feel worse after therapy with this particular therapist. I think partly because we don't click and also all she does is give me coping skills which is great but I was hoping of more of an analysis type exchange. Maybe we need different therapists?

I'm sorry that you're having such a tough depression. You didn't mention whether you're on meds. My meds seem to keep my depression from being so painful, but it's definitely still there. When I was younger, though, I had some extremely painful depressions while taking meds.

I had never thought of how it might be harder for extroverts to be alone while depressed.

When I'm not depressed, I'm one of those "introverts with good social skills" but when I'm depressed, I mostly revert to being alone. I have a very high tolerance for not minding being alone, which I'm not sure is helpful for me in trying to recover from my depression.

An "Introverts" forum was recently created here - maybe there needs to be an "Extroverts" forum, too.

But, yes, therapy brings up emotional subjects, and if my depression is very bad, I sometimes feel worse afterwards.

On a separate subject, the therapist is supposed to make an effort to give you some emotional "cooling-off" time at the end of the session and to make sure that you feel like you're in a safe place before you leave. You don't want to be right in the middle of talking about something emotionally stressful then suddenly have your session ended.

I almost always feel worse. I have a PDOC appt today and I'm feeling so sick because of it. And I don't even know why! I know I need to go, and I want to go, but I'm just sick about seeing him for some reason.

Therapy is very difficult, and we talk about such sensitive subject matter, it's no wonder we feel worse sometimes afterwards.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, and I hope you feel better soon.

One time and she was really mean. It could have been my mood. But that day made me very depressed.

Most times I go home and digest what we talked about. Sometimes I get sad, sometime I get mad, sometimes I have break thrus.

[Turtlesoup]

Sometimes I feel quite bad after a session but I know that stirring up this stuff is part of the process. My T is really consistent about making sure I'm ok before I leave & I'm working hard at not minimizing-I so want to appear "normal" & in control but I know that the more honest I am the more positive the results will be-it can take some trial & error to find a good fit. Hope that helps-take care

[Sunnyhunny00]

When I was teen I ended up spending some time in a mental hospital. When I was out my high school was supposed to find an in school counselor for me.

They'd bring someone in and I'd talk to them. No joke, they ended up bringing in 8 different counselors because I went back and said, "I don't like her/him." I finally got one I connected with and saw her for the next 4years.

Having a therapist/counselor you feel good talking to and trust completely is highly important in recovery and healing. However, digging up painful experiences will most certainly bring back negative emotions. In which case it's their job to work us through it.

yes, sometimes when we haven't talked about the things i WANTED to talk about, i leave feeling worse.

[raspberrytorte]

Yes. I have really bad luck with therapists. I can never find one that I like. I've pretty much given up on therapists.

During my last severe depression episode I went to see a therapist. I was having all these awful intrusive thoughts about hurting myself (like cutting my arms with knives, etc.), and she actually had me demonstrate what I was thinking about doing (like pretend I was holding a knife and slide it down my arm!). I left feeling horrible!

This last one I was seeing always made me feel really angry. During our last (and final) appointment I wanted to slap her in the face. She was all talking about how my anger was mania and that I wasn't stable and blah blah blah, and I was unwilling to change, and bipolar this and bipolar that. I had JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE HOSPITAL! I have enormous medical bills. I was still angry about the entire situation because it was involuntary. It was my first psychotic episode. OF COURSE I'm going to be angry. I think that's normal. She made me feel like a label! I can have normal human emotions that aren't related to bipolar-ism.

I'm getting all pissed off thinking about her. Lol!

Anyway, maybe you're just not clicking with your therapist or something. Good luck!

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Today, yes. T wasn't concentrating very well, her advise seemed useless, and she didn't seem to understand my pain and why I was so upset. This isn't normal for her. I think she's just ready for her vacation tomorrow. Kinda a half wasted session.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Becoming

I'll be going along in my day pretty much a okay and then therapy comes. I almost always have things to talk about (especially being depressed lately), but I feel worse after leaving sometimes. Today is one of them. On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 been barely depressed to 10 being extremly), I was about a 5 or 6 before therapy and now am about an 8 or 9. I feel so hopeless. My depression is consuming me and yet I'm still meant to function. There is no solution to my lonliness and stress. My therapist didn't know what to say either. She thinks I rely on people too much. I'm just an extrovert and being alone is 1,000 times harder when I'm already depressed. There's no answer. There's no hope. I feel like absolute **** right now. I just want to give everything up.

I am sorry you feel so bad. Don't give up. This intensity will pass.

What exactly did you and your T talk about? What do you think triggered you?

I had many years when I was really unwell with PTSD in particular and most sessions with my very excellent T ended with me feeling worse. Still, progress had been made and slowly but surely I began to feel better. The PTSD is only mild now and the Bipolar is raging instead. Now I tend to feel a bit all over the place after therapy but again I can see that it is helping me a lot.

[Becoming]

Originally Posted by lunaticfringe

I almost always feel worse after therapy with this particular therapist. I think partly because we don't click and also all she does is give me coping skills which is great but I was hoping of more of an analysis type exchange. Maybe we need different therapists?

Tbh, mine rarely helps. She will listen, but when offering advice she gets kind of repetitive. It's kind of clear to me what we've been doing isn't working. Doing the same thing over and over is the definition of insanity. New therapists is a possibility. I'm getting a new one in May anyway though when I graduate college. There's only two choices at my college.

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

I'm sorry that you're having such a tough depression. You didn't mention whether you're on meds. My meds seem to keep my depression from being so painful, but it's definitely still there. When I was younger, though, I had some extremely painful depressions while taking meds.

I had never thought of how it might be harder for extroverts to be alone while depressed.

When I'm not depressed, I'm one of those "introverts with good social skills" but when I'm depressed, I mostly revert to being alone. I have a very high tolerance for not minding being alone, which I'm not sure is helpful for me in trying to recover from my depression.

An "Introverts" forum was recently created here - maybe there needs to be an "Extroverts" forum, too.

But, yes, therapy brings up emotional subjects, and if my depression is very bad, I sometimes feel worse afterwards.

On a separate subject, the therapist is supposed to make an effort to give you some emotional "cooling-off" time at the end of the session and to make sure that you feel like you're in a safe place before you leave. You don't want to be right in the middle of talking about something emotionally stressful then suddenly have your session ended.

Yes, I am on lamictal 200mg. Soon to start Serafam for around my menstrul cycle...hoping it doesn't induce hypomania, but secretly wanting it to because I feel so depressed.

It could be nice to have an "extrovert" forum for sure. I'm not an introvert by any means and have a hard time relating to or connecting with my friends who are introverts. It is like two different worlds. I just want to be by people often and party and chat and such. Some of my friends often want to hull up in their room and almost never do anything or go anywhere. That can make it even harder to have social interaction.

We basically talked about all my loneliness and how I don't think there's any hope to change it because I-and many others- are stuck in a world of college work. And I rarely get invited places anymore and stopped caring to invite others who almost always say no due to being busy. It's a vicious cycle which I fear is unbreakable.

Mine doesn't give me "cool-off" time but that makes sense. When I leave I usually end up walking to my room upset/mad and don't want to see or talk to anyone. All I want to do-and often do- is go back to my room and cry.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I almost always feel worse. I have a PDOC appt today and I'm feeling so sick because of it. And I don't even know why! I know I need to go, and I want to go, but I'm just sick about seeing him for some reason.

Therapy is very difficult, and we talk about such sensitive subject matter, it's no wonder we feel worse sometimes afterwards.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, and I hope you feel better soon.

Sometimes it is so difficult that it's hard to make yourself go. I get that.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

One time and she was really mean. It could have been my mood. But that day made me very depressed.

Most times I go home and digest what we talked about. Sometimes I get sad, sometime I get mad, sometimes I have break thrus.

The first time I returned to therapy (it was the first time in a couple of years) I completely balled my eyes out. Mine can be mean, but I guess it is in a stern way. She did help me, but I cried for a long time after that session.

Originally Posted by Turtlesoup

Sometimes I feel quite bad after a session but I know that stirring up this stuff is part of the process. My T is really consistent about making sure I'm ok before I leave & I'm working hard at not minimizing-I so want to appear "normal" & in control but I know that the more honest I am the more positive the results will be-it can take some trial & error to find a good fit. Hope that helps-take care

Right. It is not useful if hard topics are not discussed. Maybe I should mention to my T some "cooling-off" time would be good sometimes.

Originally Posted by Sunnyhunny00

When I was teen I ended up spending some time in a mental hospital. When I was out my high school was supposed to find an in school counselor for me.

They'd bring someone in and I'd talk to them. No joke, they ended up bringing in 8 different counselors because I went back and said, "I don't like her/him." I finally got one I connected with and saw her for the next 4years.

Having a therapist/counselor you feel good talking to and trust completely is highly important in recovery and healing. However, digging up painful experiences will most certainly bring back negative emotions. In which case it's their job to work us through it.

Yes, I was in a mental hospital once as well. I hope to avoid that. It wasn't until after that when people started taking me seriously because in the hospital they figured out I was Bipolar and before that nobody knew or took my suicidal threats seriously (an attempt is what got me in there).

Sometimes my T gets confused and doesn't know what to say. I wonder if others do that or if another one would work better. Like, when I talked to her about needing people to feel better, she said I should not need people to be happy. I said that is part of what being an extrovert is but it is just worse because of depression if I am not around them.

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

yes, sometimes when we haven't talked about the things i WANTED to talk about, i leave feeling worse.

I can relate to that. Sometimes the session feels too short...like I could talk for 2 hours instead of just 1.

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Yes. I have really bad luck with therapists. I can never find one that I like. I've pretty much given up on therapists.

During my last severe depression episode I went to see a therapist. I was having all these awful intrusive thoughts about hurting myself (like cutting my arms with knives, etc.), and she actually had me demonstrate what I was thinking about doing (like pretend I was holding a knife and slide it down my arm!). I left feeling horrible!

This last one I was seeing always made me feel really angry. During our last (and final) appointment I wanted to slap her in the face. She was all talking about how my anger was mania and that I wasn't stable and blah blah blah, and I was unwilling to change, and bipolar this and bipolar that. I had JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE HOSPITAL! I have enormous medical bills. I was still angry about the entire situation because it was involuntary. It was my first psychotic episode. OF COURSE I'm going to be angry. I think that's normal. She made me feel like a label! I can have normal human emotions that aren't related to bipolar-ism.

I'm getting all pissed off thinking about her. Lol!

Anyway, maybe you're just not clicking with your therapist or something. Good luck!

That is not cool that they made you pretend to hurt yourself and that the other blamed everything on Bipolar. Emotions are okay to feel. It is just hat Bipolar intensifies them and changes them around very often usually.

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

Today, yes. T wasn't concentrating very well, her advise seemed useless, and she didn't seem to understand my pain and why I was so upset. This isn't normal for her. I think she's just ready for her vacation tomorrow. Kinda a half wasted session.

Sorry to hear that.

Originally Posted by Wander

I am sorry you feel so bad. Don't give up. This intensity will pass.


What exactly did you and your T talk about? What do you think triggered you?


I had many years when I was really unwell with PTSD in particular and most sessions with my very excellent T ended with me feeling worse. Still, progress had been made and slowly but surely I began to feel better. The PTSD is only mild now and the Bipolar is raging instead. Now I tend to feel a bit all over the place after therapy but again I can see that it is helping me a lot.

Yes, it has just been a very long period of depression which has been getting worse. I would say the down hill slope has been about two months. Judging by that, I think it should end soon.

We were talking about loosing people. The fact that I miss my most recent ex (who does not care about me in the least anymore) and messaged my ex from 5 years ago (who surprisingly has not replied). Also a friend who I liked who suddenly stopped being my friend because I made him "uncomfortable." He was really cool and now dropped off the face of the earth (or my life at least...he doesn't want to be there and I never really figured out why). All of that loss, being depressed, being stressed, and being lonely is not good for me. I told her that. All she said was I need to stop putting so much emphasis on relationships. I am an extrovert who is alone. They do not go together well even when I am not depressed. She says I need to do that but not how I can. It feels like venting and just becoming upset with no results. This is a common topic for me which I have never figured out how to solve (letting go and being okay with being alone).

I am glad your T has helped you. In all honesty, I feel sometimes that this forum has helped me more than my T. I guess it's because we have all had so many different experiences, T's, and Pdoc's so it ends up being a big collaboration of knowledge. This forum is great in that way.

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