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#1
Mar 31, 2015, 09:40 PM
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I am suicidal. I am feeling particularly hopeless at the moment which is likely driving this post. I asked my husband to take over my meds. I didn't want to but I know I needed to (he hasn't done it yet and he isn't home much lately because he is working much of the time...the option is just sitting there). My doctor asked me if I needed to be hospitalized as did my husband. My answer to both was no, like it always is. I always have to be TOLD to go to the hospital either by my family or by strong convincing from my doctor. I would never suggest or agree to it. I have way too much responsibility and too many serious childcare issues to willingly spend a week or two inpatient. I feel weary (mostly of being in this spot SO many times) and overwhelmed. Do I need to go in? Can I justify going in? Can I justify not going in? I don't know what to do.
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder Last edited by Wren_; Mar 31, 2015 at 09:47 PM. Reason: added trigger icon |
 Anonymous45023, BipolaRNurse, ladisputelover, raspberrytorte
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#2
Mar 31, 2015, 09:45 PM
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The first 3 words you typed ...... get help now, please
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
 cashart10
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#3
Mar 31, 2015, 09:49 PM
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I think if your suicidal you should go in. I was there myself in 2007 (being suicidal I mean), and going to the hospital at that time was great. I left feeling much better then when I went in. Choosing to live life is enough justification. I hope you follow your heart and do what's best for you. You deserve to be happy or die trying. Keep your head up your not alone
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| cashart10
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#4
Mar 31, 2015, 09:50 PM
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Thank you Christina.
Wishing I could still cling to the words of this song. I am so done. 
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#5
Mar 31, 2015, 10:21 PM
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Please get help. We will be here when you get back! <3
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schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| cashart10
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#6
Mar 31, 2015, 10:32 PM
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If you think it may be time to go to the hospital.....it already is.
Please go, and be safe. Like the PP said, we'll be here when you get back. (((((HUGS)))))
__________________
DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
| cashart10, jacky8807
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#7
Mar 31, 2015, 10:34 PM
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Go in willingly.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| cashart10
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#8
Mar 31, 2015, 11:26 PM
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I know it is hard. Try thinking of it like this: is one or two weeks worth a lifetime? Answer yes. In other words, if that hospital can save you from ending a lifetime, go in. Yes, it may cause some inconvenience to go in, but think of the pain it would be for everyone who knows you to loose you forever. On the other hand, if you think with great certainty that you can pull out of this on your own, just make sure you have some support in the meantime (husband, therapist, crisis hotline/chat, etc.) Hang in there. I know it does not feel like it right now, but it will get better. Somewhere deep down you know that as well because that's the nature of bipolar.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar II and Borderline Personality Disorder Meds: Lamictal 150mg | Latuda 40mg | |
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#9
Mar 31, 2015, 11:27 PM
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Quote:
Agreed. By the time we think we need to go its been bad enough for too long Go in and get better. 
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| BipolaRNurse
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#10
Apr 01, 2015, 12:07 AM
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If you view a week as to long away from responsibility imagine a lifetime. The faster you go in with situations like this the quicker you're out. Hugs, if you learn when you have to go in you have far more control over bp.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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#11
Apr 01, 2015, 12:48 AM
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Yes go. It's hard when you have other things that need tending to but if you go they will be sorted for you. Go to hospital reevaluate meds etc and get stable and out of the bad place. Best of luck
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#12
Apr 01, 2015, 04:18 PM
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I hope you're okay. Hugs!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#13
Apr 01, 2015, 07:02 PM
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Thinking of you. Hang in there! Hospital does seem to be the best place for you right now.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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