[UCMATH]

Blowing money is a pretty common problem for people with Bipolar Disorder, but I have the opposite problem: I have trouble spending money on non-necessities. I'm not cheap. I'm wiling to pay for high quality items that I need, but I won't spend a buck on something just because I want it.

My mom gave me $100 for my birthday. I was excited to set it aside for medical bills and the student loans I have to make payments on while I'm not in school. She insisted that I spend it on something I really want, like a full subscription to the New Yorker (12 weeks for $12) or a new pair of oxfords. We drove to a mall where I tried to bring myself to buy a pair from Aldo, but I couldn't do it. She was disappointed to find that I decided to buy three new pairs of thermal socks from a dollar store instead (surprisingly, they've got good socks there).

I've already set aside enough to send more than the minimum payments on all of my regular bills for the next year. I rarely have extra money to blow on myself, but I can't even bring myself to spend $12 of the $100 on something I enjoy. I didn't even realize it was a problem until my mom pointed it out today.

I'm gonna force myself to buy something I like, because I know it's what she wants me to do with the cash. I can already tell that I'm going to have a ton of guilt after I buy it. Is this some weird anxiety thing I've developed as a result of being left in poverty after paying bills from my psychotic episode?

[BandName]

I'm the same way. Ever since my diagnosis I have been very anxious if I don't have a financial safety net. I think that as long as you don't live in a state of self inflicted poverty, your fiscal responsibility is more of an asset than a liability.

Just remind yourself that it's OK to spend money on nice things from time to time. It's obvious that you aren't the kind of person who makes irresponsible purchases, reminding yourself of that might help you feel better about it.

I am the same, very good with money because Im scared of going over the top like I have during hypomania.

[BastetsMuse]

I think we overcorrect in this way because of the mania's behaviors. I know I have a hard time spending on myself -- or I did until my husband and I set up what I am allowed to spend an on specifically what. But to be able to do this took twenty years of therapy!

Same here. After blowing $5k on an online game, I have a hard time spending on things that I really could use. I'll put it off to the last minute.

[UCMATH]

Thanks, everyone. It's a relief to know that others have the same issue due to a fear of manic spending. I think I'm going to earmark a small portion of my budget for spending on myself. Maybe that will help me get over the anxiety.

I've decided to use the money on something mom and I will both enjoy. I don't know what yet, but I think it will keep me from feeling the guilt that comes with spending the money on nobody but myself.

[teleea]

Risk taking behaviour and bipolar go hand in hand - often that risk taking is spending money (I blew through $50,000 in a year and went bankrupt).

While on disability assistance however, I have been experiencing the opposite. I am afraid to spend money on anything other than food, rent, and bills. There isn't much to save at the end of the month but I have built up a little over a year.

My BiPolar peers seem to spend it as soon as they get it and are forced to visit the foodbank and rely on family for help. Some of them are not allowed to spend their assistance money themselves. Instead, the government agency directly pays their bills and manages their money for them.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I grew up with a father who was undiagnosed bipolar and he went through money like water. He was always taking out home improvement loans and then spending the money elsewhere so I grew up in a house with lathe walls in the kitchen, particle board countertops (even though the tiles were in the house), kitchen flooring that was the leftover from having old linoleum pulled up (and I remember helping do that when I was about 5). The finished parts were lovely but the rest was horrible. We had no heating system so used kerosene heaters downstairs; the upstairs was freezing. Lots of ridiculous stuff.

So I was certain of one thing about adulthood: I was going to manage my money. Since going on SSDI it's a good thing I've learned to budget and live tightly. Even after my student loans were forgiven and I moved to my mom's little extra house where I pay low rent I still don't seem to have much extra. Granted I've been trying hard to pay off credit card debt the whole time I've lived here (will be done in 11 months!!!) and when I had one bill paid off and thought I was going to have a little more money per month I had to start paying of an emergency vet bill. And I've had more medical bills than I eventually will b/c I had surgery. But someday I will have a little more money and will have no idea what to do with it.

My mom usually gives us money for Christmas but this year bought me all gifts to prevent me from spending my Christmas on credit cards. Which I appreciated since she got me things I wouldn't get myself and that I needed/wanted from afar.

[BipolaRNurse]

Student loans forgiven? How did that happen? I thought nothing but death could release one from that obligation. I owe over $30,000 and am in default, although I'm working on it little by little I'll never pay it off.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

If the loans are federal ones and you have SSDI/SSI (so this is great timing for you) then you can apply to have them forgiven. Your dr has to fill out a form that says you are totally and permanently disabled and I think you do a little paperwork too and then if you are approved (I've read that it is hard to get approved and that's especially true for mental health but I had no problems whatsoever and I had more like $60,000 or maybe a bit more). They put you in a 3 year monitoring program where once a year they send a form that you fill out showing that you haven't made more than a certain amount in the prior tax year. After those three years you are done.

It does make for screwy taxes the next year because the forgiven loan debt it taxable. However there's a way around it. I don't remember now if you ask me when you've been approved I'll pull up my taxes from that year and see.

I think they have made it harder since I applied but am not sure of that. I just keep reading something about new rules and I've seen them reference needing SSDI to not review your case for 5 years. Mine said review at 3 years although they haven't done it; I need to call and ask about that because I get afraid they'll have messed up and do something to my benefits (I'm just over 3 years). Looking at the webpage I'm wondering if I used a combination of SSDI and my psychiatrist to get approved.

The process is easy although a little stressful and aside from the tax thing it is nothing for the 3 years of monitoring. I just did mine and it took longer to address the envelope than fill out the paperwork.

Total and Permanent Disability (TPD) Discharge

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

Student loans forgiven? How did that happen? I thought nothing but death could release one from that obligation. I owe over $30,000 and am in default, although I'm working on it little by little I'll never pay it off.

[BipolaRNurse]

Thank you!!! I'm not eligible at this point because my review is in 3 years, but it's good to know for the future because I'll definitely apply if SSA changes it to 5-7 years next time. In the meantime I'll keep making my $5/month payments and call it good.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'd go ahead and apply with your psychiatrists' support and see what happens. It's not that much paperwork and it is such a relief to get out of the loan. Now that I've passed my 3 year mark I can't wait to get my letter that says I'm out of monitoring.

My SSDI letter says 3 years to review also. I don't know if the rules changed or if they approved me anyway with the dr's input. I know she was very specific that there is no way I'm ever going to work more than a few hours again and probably not that and that the combination of diagnosies and severity make it impossible for me to work even with modifications or a reduced scheduled (both of which I'd tried). And it didn't take that long and I got the discharge letter. Last year I completely freaked out because I was getting ready for ankle reconstruction surgery and knew I wasn't going to be able to do anything for months and it occurred to me I hadn't heard from them. So I called in a panic and apparently I'd sent the form in 2 months before without any memory of it. I'm glad to be done with that one. Now I just have to keep Medicaid and my patient assistance med programs happy and life should be good .