The bipolar mother and her children

Can someone out there with bipolar (or knows someone with bipolar) give me more information on how this disorder affects the family members? Specifically the children, if the parent is bipolar. What is the relationship usually like between a parent and their children due to bipolar disorder? What are some specific challenges that they experience?

I am on the depressive end of the bp spectrum, but for my 3kids I feel I am very close to them, the only negatives they have suffered from are from the irritability or not being able to depend on me remembering little things like lunch money or signing forms.

Why is it always the mother. What about fathers who have bipolar? How does that impact children?

For me I feel bad because my daughter can sense when I'm struggling. She's been glued to my side as of late. Always asking me if I'm happy (I lie and say I am). She's really sensitive to emotions.

Why is it always the mother. What about fathers who have bipolar? How does that impact children?

For me I feel bad because my daughter can sense when I'm struggling. She's been glued to my side as of late. Always asking me if I'm happy (I lie and say I am). She's really sensitive to emotions.

This was a personal question for me because my mother had extreme mood swings and she was also an alcoholic. We had a very rocky relationship and I was trying to see if this kind of relationship was common or not with bipolar, which now I'm thinking it's not, I guess I'm trying to understand my mom more.

well my mother is bipolar and unmedicated. She is the main reason I don't have and NEVER will have kids. I cannot ever take the chance of being as damaging to my children as she was to us.

My brother absolutely hates her because she refuses help and was so abusive to us because of her mood swings. I did my best to protect him from the brunt of it but watching her didn't really do a lot of good. He has major PTSD from all the fighting she and I did. There were a couple other contributing factors but she and I were mainly it. Because of being so volatile he doesn't trust people and has severe social anxiety because he always expects people to go from being normal to freaking out.

Picture getting woke up at 3 am on a school night to go have a snowball fight because she's manic. The snow is magical and she wants to play. But because you are 8 at the time you are a bit cranky at getting woke up at 3 am. Then you get the stuffing knocked out of you because she just wanted to play and you were as always ungrateful Crap like that happened all the time. She could be brushing my hair and telling me how much she loved me then abruptly shove me into the floor because she was done. Her mood had shifted and I was now a burden. And when you are a kid you don't understand why after having several good months with mom now she hates you and is depressed and wants to die or why she's bouncing off the walls and gets angry in the blink of an eye. I think I love her as much as I'm capable but she definitely impacted my ability to connect with and care about other people. I still help her and do what I can for her but I definitely resent her.

My sister was just like my mom and refused help/meds and is no longer with us.

The only good thing about my mom being who she is...is that I've always been very aware of my mood swings and done my best to stay on meds when i can afford them. She taught me who I wanted to be and that's the exact opposite of her.

Not saying all bipolar parents are like her just that she was horrible.

I think she sounds like she was something in addition to bipolar. The alcohol could have contributed.
I have 2 kids and I am nothing like your mother.

Raindropvampire, although my mom was never diagnosed (that I know of, I've never seen her medical records) bipolar, there was definitely something wrong. Those stories you wrote reminded me of my childhood. Things like having to console my mother while she was crying in the bathroom when I was 6 years old because she was jealous of her friend's new house even though her house was just fine. Her doing outrageous spontaneous things at odd hours, pulling my sister out of bed while she was sleeping by her hair just because I told her she called me ugly, I have tons of memories that I have literally shoved into the corners of my mind but don't want to spend time digging them up right now. I can just really relate to the push-and-pull unpredictable nature that was my mother, as you described yours. Like your brother I also suffer from anxiety because I expect people to go from 0 to 100 at any time. She either loved us or was against us. I don't want kids either, because of her. The weird part about whatever mental disorder she has, is that she either lies and denies any memories I present her with, or she plays the victim and acts like I'm the one with the problem, going so far as crying while simultaneously denying my feelings.

My mother's favorite line is "That's not how I remember it." Her other go to is "The women in our family are just volatile. It's just how it is and always will be. You can't fight nature." Then she shrugs and says people are moody and to get over it.

When I was first diagnosed she threw a fit; she didn't give this to me it wasn't her fault and the doctors were all quacks. It was just a BS diagnosis to make her look like a bad mom. Sometimes now she seems supportive but waffles back and forth between the two reactions. Just depends on her mood and if she's on an even keel at the time.

I don't know about your mom but mine will be 61 in July. Her symptoms have gotten much better with age. She does not cycle nearly as rapidly OR as extremely as she did when she was younger. My Pdoc says that for a lot of bipolar people symptoms lessen as they get older. Hoping it's true.

So sorry for what you went through and that you still have anxiety from it. Some wounds last longer than others and just suck the big one.

My mother is 59. Her go-to saying is "I don't remember that." or "You need therapy." I don't know if she's gotten worse or better with age because I rarely see her and I only speak to her over the phone. She's still in denial, and I doubt I'll ever get any kind of apology. I stayed at her house for about a year when I was 18, she was still reacting abnormally to things and being overly emotional/crying at weird things or being abusive and volatile. I'm just glad I'm not living with her anymore.

My mothers mood swing severely impacted me as an adult. It took 8 years of therapy for me to admit she stuffed me up good and proper. I didnt like to blame anyone for my problems, but its clear my moods are a result of her mothering. I never would have known about SH so young if I hadnt seen her do it.

I would never have kids either, I would never expose them this disorder or risk bringing another into the world who has a genetic disposition for mental illness. Its just an endless cycle and its time to break it.

I know there are much different experiences and manifestations. I just feel though like there is more to the picture of mothers and children than Bipolar or not. All people have **** and baggage and depending on their level of awareness etc it will impact the children in some way. I am probably feeling this way because I know a lot of people (myself included) whose moms do not have Bipolar and yet were/are very damaging. There are unique concerns in Bipolar obviously. As for me I feel like my children are generally unaware though the house is sometimes a wreck and I can't find clean clothes etc but I try so hard to take care of emotional lives first. I also have not had a super down for a year. Just mild. So I can't say what it would be like if I were to have a huge episode when they are a little older. I can't speak to the experience with older children.

This thread is making me feel really bad. No one's fault. I'm just sensitive right now.

I knew I was ruining my daughter's life, just because of the way I am. She would be better off without me. I don't think I act all "crazy" around her. I may be down and cry once in awhile, and I may get angry and lock myself in my room for a few minutes to cool down and not scare her. I have days where I'm super happy and we dance and do fun things, and other days where I'm tired and don't feel like doing anything. But I'm assuming that applies to all moms, and not just bipolar moms?

I'm doing my best here. But apparently she's going to end up in therapy anyway.

Here is a good academic article about it:
http://pediatricbipolar.stanford.edu...spring2003.pdf

As a mother myself, I really pride myself on being able to give my daughter outlets- she takes dance lessons, she has adults in her life (both BP and non-BP) who support her, and we have fun traditions that she looks forward to (story time, going to the Childrens Museum).

While there is a genetic likelihood that she will get diagnosed with bipolar (which my ex never ceases to remind me that it would be my fault), I know enough about the illness where I would be able to support her.

Where I'm conflicted- I didn't get diagnosed until I was 30. I had my daughter prior to my diagnosis and was able to nurse for 9 months. I am so glad that I didn't expose her to the meds that I'm taking. Now I don't want to have a second child because of the medication, and the additional stress that a second child brings.

hmmmm well bipolar runs on both sides of my family with the seemingly worse cases on my fathers side but my mom.....complicated. i dont think it was bipolar but she was emotionally and verbally abusive very critical....one minute screaming about how i was the scum of the earth and the next coming down to hug me and tell me she loved me. she had and has severe self esteem issues and i think she used me a lot to transfer her negative feeling about herself. I started realizing this as i was older and something would happen in her day and i would be the one to pay for it by being bashed verbally
she also has just come to terms with my bp.
i think i may have handled my bp better earlier in life if it werent for her