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#1
Jun 09, 2015, 08:30 PM
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So, in the last few months I have been stumbling over some really nasty trauma which lead to an IP visit.
 Normally when people in general ask me how I am .. "I am fine " I am typically only open and 100% honest with a few people.. I was just always raised to be a " I'm fine, thanks.....how are you? ( I am perfectly okay with this)  As I mentioned I have been having a really rough time emotionally and my physical pain has also been off the charts.. I have cried and whined and stomped about......  This week I have realized that I had stopped fighting to feel better. I took a good long soak in the hot tub of self pity.  So shame on me.. Time to take back my life... Horrific trauma in my past can't effect me now... I won't allow it  It already stole unimaginable amounts of my life away. That's all it can have no more!So anyone else pissed off and taking control back? 
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
 Anonymous200155, Anonymous200280, Anonymous45023, ArthurDent, BlackSheep79, Capriciousness, cashart10, Crazy Hitch, elevatedsoul, Fuzzybear, HALLIEBETH87, jacky8807, JaiHanaLakshmi, LettinG0, lunaticfringe, Moogieotter, Nammu, newtothis31, RainyDay107, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom, Wander, wiretwister
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 ArthurDent, BlackSheep79, cashart10, jacky8807, LettinG0, RainyDay107, Trippin2.0, Victoria'smom
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#2
Jun 09, 2015, 08:53 PM
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(((Christina)))
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| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#3
Jun 09, 2015, 08:53 PM
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I'm working on it!
(You know what Im talking about. I decided to do it.)
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#4
Jun 09, 2015, 09:01 PM
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im with you girl!!!!!! im trying to lighten up not obsess not worry about my moods or the past or the future or or or or lololo
i have been trying to just get into a "good place' my work has been paying off We GOT this...no problem 
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#5
Jun 09, 2015, 09:11 PM
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Oh gees this is such a good post.
To answer your question: So anyone else pissed off and taking control back? YES ME TOO!!!!!! TOTALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm reclaiming my life. Finally. I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE FEELING THAT PEOPLE ARE JUDGING ME  
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| Fuzzybear, ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#6
Jun 09, 2015, 10:30 PM
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Great you're taking control back Christina!!
 I'm trying.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#7
Jun 09, 2015, 10:35 PM
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Sorry so much crap is raining down on you, Christina
but glad to see you are taking care of business! Go you!!  (And in answer to your question -- yes! Complicated situation IRL, but suffice to say that I've been in limbo from a situation of 3 other people where 2 people have quite different ideas on how to handle something involving the third person. Not exactly opposite poles but a good enough description. What? A bipolar situation? Got it! I'm going to step to the plate and give it my best. Hope my sincerity to see everyone come out well is sufficient to sway to a good resolution. And yes, putting myself in this scares the crap out of me, but I'm doing it anyway(!) because... "Enough!", you know? Limbo sucks and I want my life back!)"That's all it can have and no more!" is a great attitude!
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| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#8
Jun 10, 2015, 06:29 AM
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I'm happy for you Christina!
YES I'm taking back my life too. I'm tired of letting other people control me. |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#9
Jun 10, 2015, 09:40 AM
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I saw something in another post the other day that made me wonder if you had had to go IP. Was concerned for you. I am really glad that you have fought your way through the struggle and darkness and are back to fighting the good fight. You are always such an inspiration to me to try and gain some fighting instincts and some control in this BP life. You are always so honest, straight forward, and give great advice. I appreciate you and I know I am not the only one!
__________________
 LettinG0 BP II |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#10
Jun 10, 2015, 06:20 PM
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Christina if there was a magic wand I could wave to allow us to take ourselves less seriously, I would wave it.
I think we just tend to do this from time to time. 
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| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#11
Jun 10, 2015, 11:03 PM
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Thanks everyone
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Anonymous45023, Crazy Hitch
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| Crazy Hitch
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#12
Jun 10, 2015, 11:23 PM
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You're welcome as always
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#13
Jun 11, 2015, 12:08 AM
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So proud of you sis, and sooo very happy for your new attitude and outlook.
I'm with you, I'm busy attempting to reclaim something too. I don't want to speak too soon, so will let you know privately. Love you muchly 
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#14
Jun 11, 2015, 10:44 AM
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I admire your strength
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#15
Jun 11, 2015, 11:21 AM
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I'm sorry you have been having such a rough time Christina, and much like you did to me, I'm nudging you over on the couch and sitting down, hugging you tight and just being there. And yes I have been pissed off, and i took control and now have other fun to deal with. Well after my little rant last night, i went to the doc today and I'm taking ahold of this. This is my life. I own it.
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| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#16
Jun 11, 2015, 12:21 PM
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It is hard because this thing we deal with IS serious so it is hard not to take it seriously but it can't always be like that or as you said we lose ourselves in it. As absurd as it feels sometimes adding more levity to it all somehow helps.
I also feel like turning my power on hence my new project. I'm over this ****. |
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#17
Jun 11, 2015, 12:42 PM
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| raspberrytorte
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#18
Jun 11, 2015, 12:47 PM
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Capriciousness ! Thank you so very much
So kind and thoughtful
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Capriciousness
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#19
Jun 11, 2015, 12:58 PM
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Glad to hear that you're doing better.
Processing trauma is one of the toughest things to do.
__________________
Bipolar Type I | 40 mg of Latuda, 0.5 mg of Xanax | Diagnosed August 27 2013 |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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