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#26
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I'm seriously just being very paranoid. I can't imagine why anyone would care about all of little foibles and whines on here. And I don't really care whether or not people like me or not based on this stuff. I'm just like not secure on the ground somehow. Like I'm too worried about something too small and there must be a nugget of something for therapy in there somewhere. I don't know |
#27
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I think your worries are common really, and valid for sure...
I'm old and I just don't care anymore what people think ![]() I do know that in the past there have been a few members that were actually psych students and probably doing a term paper ... I gave them lots of ammo to use, on purpose ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
#28
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It's not hard sewing. Or it wouldn't be if my brain was working well. And it makes them so happy. They are just reaching the ages that they really like and appreciate each other so they enjoy dressing alike and sharing interests. So fun. I'm going to watch them tomorrow which I'm a little anxious about because I'm still sleeping a lot from my med change this week and they need a lot of energy but they are always good for me. Sorry about causing the freak-out in the first place. I guess what I should have said is always consider what you are posting in a rationale mind before posting it. Sometimes I made mistakes in what I shared b/c I was manic or depressed or dealing with too much and was angry. Not often I don't think and I removed a lot of posts but I shared too much about abuse and am not comfortable that I did that. When I was doing PTSD therapy that required a couple hours of work each day and it was SO HARD I tended to share more than I should have. Other times I'm glad I shared. And I'll always be glad to have this record of the last 10 years (and I'll keep writing and not publishing because it has become my journal).
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
#29
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Ha! I wish my worries were not valid. If you knew the extent of them you'd probably tell me that I had hit my crazy limit for one post. You don't look that old |
![]() ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#30
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Normally I am extremely introverted and rather shy when it comes to romance type things. However one time while winding up into an episode, I actually went on Craigslist and put up an ad for a "casual encounter". My inbox was absolutely flooded, and one of the responses, I actually thought he was extremely cute. We wound up emailing through the relay for several days, then texting for weeks. At this point it was like either he is a lonely sweetheart, is having the worst dry spell of his thus-far life, or he is a serial killer, because those are the only explanations as to why he's putting so much awesome effort into day after day of conversation just to actually meet me. I finally invite him over because my survival instincts are turned off. Also he was barely legally an adult at 18 while I was 26 so I also felt weirdly empowered. I had an absolute blast, we got extremely high, had great conversation in addition to fun times. However towards the end he had a massive HOCD panic attack out of nowhere. So he wound up lying in my lap while we talked to calm him down for about an hour, and he fell asleep and thus spent the night. The morning actually wasn't awkward, he was chill and polite and still flirty, and even kissed me goodbye. Never saw each other again, was the extremely rare genuine no-strings-attached not-awkward very-respectful no-heart-break great-times one night stand. And I didn't get any diseases even though I was too out of my mind to be 100% safe.
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![]() Capriciousness, loophole, lunaticfringe
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#31
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Yes. I see what you are saying. Thank you! |
#32
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#33
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Now yall can feel better. I've been on Craigslist for sex. Lmao.
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![]() Capriciousness
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#34
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Awww thanks... I'm 48 and to me I am old.
I have odd bizarre fears, Trust me I am certifiable ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Capriciousness
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#35
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I wish I didn't or had not shared so much on here. That also comes back to haunt you, if there's some meanie on the board.
I also wish it was private. But really, no one knows who the **** I am.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() Capriciousness
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#36
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I understand the feeling of paranoia, but I am out of the bipolar closet and and am old enough so I feel OK with it.
It is better than other websites with lots of people baiting those with mental illness. |
![]() Capriciousness
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#37
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CopperStar, that was magnificent.
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#38
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The other thing is that I don't find psych central comes up on searches much. Healthboards I can search certain things and be pretty sure my own post will come up and that bugs me a bit since I'm not being that specific. Healthboards has everything out there. I haven't seen that with PC either before or after joining although maybe I'm missing something.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
#39
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I understand your point
![]() I guess when I signed up I knew this was the reality though. Fortunately nothing can be used for research purposes. Not that that means all of my Hooligan posts can't be read if someone simply joins. |
![]() Capriciousness
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#40
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I don't guess it bothers me. We are real. We are here for each other. And, if we help someone in the "public" then that's awesome. If someone abuses the privilege of this forum....that's on them....and hopefully karma will kick their a$$es
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![]() LettinG0 BP II |
![]() Capriciousness
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#41
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Sometimes I get anxious/slightly paranoid about this being public, but I figure no one cares enough to use the information against me.
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![]() Capriciousness
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#42
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I don't like it at all that what I post shows up in a Google search engine. Even though I use a pseudonym and don't list my location, anyone who knew a fair amount about me could type in some basic data about my mental health problems, life situation, and medications and find me in a second. I know this is true because I've tried it from Google search.
If the forums have to be public, I wish there was some way our user names could be stripped from the postings so that someone couldn't follow a Google search result to our user profile. |
![]() Capriciousness
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#43
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It's a bit unsettling but hopefully the benefits outweigh the exposure.
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#44
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Okay I still have mixed feelings about it after reading all of these. Yes I am glad people can be helped but I wish there was a little more privacy considering the nature of this.
As for me it's done and I don't even know if I can undo it. |
#45
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I don't really care, I mean it's the internet after all, any info you put out on any site not jut this one can be seen by anyone, I just keep that in mind
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
#46
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Actually I can't . I knew it was like this but didn't care before blogging but now I don't like the connection to the outside. But it is done. Even if I stopped everything now it would still be.
I'm not happy about it at all. If I start to think about it I get paranoid and depressed. Can't help it. Even this will pop up |
![]() Anonymous200325, LettinG0
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#47
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Some of us take cautions like not using one of our real pics or our legal names. I bare all but I also use the above cautions too. I only do bc I don't need lurkers to know the things I would only tell a best friend. I'm not hiding *** I ate up out the mud and I have the scars and tears from it.
Sent from iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
#48
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Even if this forum was a lot more private, practically anyone could still weasel their way in, if they had the time and motivation to do so. Meaning that the nefarious sorts who actually want to cause trouble, would still be able to do so, and probably still would.
It's important to build and fortify personal boundaries, instead of trying to hide. Because predators are not phased by such things as having to jump through a few hoops to get through some community privacy hurdles. You have to build your armor, not hide in a bunker. It's the only way to emotionally survive. The best part is that predators know this, which is why you will get some leaving you really creepy comments and ****. They want to see their prey hide. Because when you quit fearing them, it's game over for their sorry ***es. So you can know it, too. |
#49
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My big worry is that family might find the site and know it's me. My profile is pretty thin and doesn't list my location but anyone following my postings would be able to figure out what state I live in. I don't post much about family for that reason.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
#50
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Its not even about meanies or whatever. It is just about being able to relax and just be and say and let it all go and that is why this forum is so important and even though I am intellectually processing what all of you are saying and want to be convinced that it is fine and I'm sure it probably is. There is just the little jiggling piece that now feels on guard. And that was what I needed not to have.
I've ruined it for myself basically. Should have thought a little harder |
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