[Sesiley]

My Bipolar has ruined my relationship with my husband, ruined my life. I'm slowly building it back up. Anyone else?

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[CANDC]

Bipolar is a problem that my partner and I have struggled with. It is helpful to get stable with meds and start to find common ground. It is important to stop the skirmishes and find kind and gentle ways to talk to each other.

It is not easy, but when the stress levels are lower it is possible to communicate without anger and start to understand what each is going through. It takes two willing partners to go down this road. Some couples do not make it because one partner cannot cope with the idea of change. Both people have to be willing to change. Bipolar or not, man or woman, both people need to find ways to clean and support the house and support each other.

The key to living with someone with bipolar or being bipolar in a relationship is communication. I am open and honest with my wife about everything, even if i know my feelings and thoughts in my head are going to be hard for her to hear. but what that open communication has done is really helped my wife understand me and my moods and learn to work around them.

[wiretwister]

she is a saint, I don't deserve her, ... but she has stayed, ... 33 years now ... I know it has been rough for her, ... but we are old school, ... you grin and bear it, ... leaving is just not in our makeup, ... I am so glad I married the "right" one ...

[gayleggg]

Bipolar has hurt my marriage from the start. I was manic when I agreed to the marriage and didn't take in all the considerations. It's been a rocky road but we've been married for 18 years.

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I have been divorced for 12 yrs.
Since then I have been in love once. It didn't work out, but it was the fault of both of us.
I haven't had a serious relationship since.

[festidump]

How we are still together is beyond me. My hubby has put up with a lot from me but going back to see therapist tomorrow as I believe that without intentionally meaning to he presses buttons in me that trigger attacks and he cannot see that he does it, let alone listen or try to change his behavior in any way. Because my behavior has been bad in the past, it´s as though he can do whatever he wants and daughter is now following suit. I´ve no doubt they both love me (as I´m feeling pretty ok right now, ask me tomorrow and you might get a different answer lol) but they just don´t understand how to be around me when I¨m not so ok.

I´m glad you have found the one Wiretwister, I think I have too, I used to be sure. Hopefully we can find a way to understand each other and communicate or this could be the end of the road for us. My closest friends blames him for the majority of what is up with me and thinks that although he loves me, he is a negative influence on me. I don´t know what to believe and hope tomorrows trip to chat will help me sort my head out.

[TimTheEnchanter]

We are going on 16 years(!) (I cannot believe it) the glue that keeps us together is my daughter. After she is gone from the nest I am not sure what will happen to us. She(my wife) is not 20 so she might hang onto me. But it is not easy, we are very different people with different goals. My bipolar and her OCD does not help but we have a weird codependency...

[~Christina]

Yes, My husband didn't believe I had Bipolar or Fibromyalgia .. My world just exploded neither of us could afford to move out so we just agreed to be kind to each other until we could sell the house. He moved to the other side of the house, we just got some space. I think the fact that one of us couldn't pack up and go is what actually saved my marriage.


I got very very lucky.. I don't take that for granted. We both feel our marriage is much stronger that is was. Yes, odd.

[Moogieotter]

Bipolar was a large part of the destruction of my first marriage. I left her and our son. This was all fueled by mania and alcoholism. Years later, we're all friends as we have both remarried with more compatible people, and share in the joy of raising our son - the four of us.

So much focus seems to be on fear of partners leaving the person Dx'd Bipolar. When in some cases, the mania and self destruction lead us away.

Thanks,

moogs

[fishin fool]

Bipolar was a large part of the failure of my 27 year marriage.
My girl friend seems to be able to understand it far better than
the ex wife ever could.

[alincdytyourmeds]

so far the marriage is still ok, but boy the sex life has taken a serious blow.

Bipolar was one of the things that lead to the demise of my first marriage. To be honest, it took so long to be diagnosed, that by the time I was, and was correctly medicated the marriage was over. Was it the bipolar or the lack of understanding and empathy on the part of my ex wife, I guess partly both. I learned from that relationship that it takes two to make it work, but only one to give up and walk out the door. And bipolar or not, if they decide to walk out the door, that's a decision they make, and I should not feel bad about.

[Sesiley]

I had manic and depression. Either I didn't want to get out of bed, or I couldn't get enough sex. My manic caused me to cheat and be confused, delusional, hallucinate, hear things, have racing thoughts. And I would have mixed episodes where I would be so aggravated that I wanted to die.

It took a huge toll on my marriage...

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[Ripose]

I have been married for 8 years and we have been together about 12 years, my wife has always known me to be a little strange and I know it resulted in some arguments over the years. However she did not know I was bipolar until I told her 2 days ago and so far she has not said one word about it, so I don't know what she thinks about me now.

My guess is she will just accept it and life will go on as usual but until she is ready to talk about it I won't know for sure.

[festidump]

Any communication tips anyone can share? I was diagnosed bi polar today, hubby has been saying it for years, now we are trying to sort stuff out. There is a lot of history / baggage of what I´ve put him through and my thoughts both manic and depressed of him is almost real to me and I need to get to know him again so it´s tough trying to make it work which we both still want.

[loophole]

Marriage counseling constantly. A short separation... It is getting better. But the more stable I get the more boring the world gets........ Sux

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[Treyfrancis21]

Looking back I can see how my early, undiagnosed episodes helped to end my first marriage. Round two has lasted 13 years so far and things are pretty good lately. Meds and therapy along with my diagnosis have contributed to this astounding feat. That being said, there were times when mania and depression before the diagnosis nearly resulted in my current wife leaving me. I know it is hard as hell for her to live with my UPS and downs, but I am really glad she has stuck it out.

Bipolar has impacted my marriage for sure.

I've "almost" strayed.

My husband "Almost" left me during my severe paranoid delusion stages.

I'm not perfect but neither is my husband. LOL

in the end, we are still together for 15 years. Married almost 10. We love each other very much and we both believe we are stronger than ever.

There are statistics on Bipolar and Marriage, it isn't good news. My husband and I hope to beat the statistic.

[BlackSheep79]

I just talked about this last night with my husband. We have been together for almost 13 years. Just in the past years he has come out and told me his true feelings about things over the years. I told him why didn't you tell me before. Last night he says he's been walking on eggshells over the years. I asked him "then why stay, I wouldn't want to be miserable." He said you just deal with it when you love someone. It hurts knowing I have hurt him, but he has acknowledged that I have been doing better the past few years. He always tells me as long as I keep fighting he will never leave. It's hard on the relationship, as is his chronic physical illness, but you keep fighting for survival and happiness. Be compassionate with one another and honest. I'm strong and won't give up on myself or on our marriage.

[Sesiley]

I have had psychosis and manic episodes that has crushed my marriage. I'm not giving up hope though.

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[Crazy Hitch]

I think this can be a thing for our partners to navigate. Watching someone go through episodes, if they do not have an MI themselves (or even if they do!) can't be all that nice an experience. Education is key but there's still the factor called emotions and yes a whole bunch inbetween. Perhaps the aftermath of mania and some dumb things I've done whilst manic were key in alot of the mess that's going on in my life at the moment.

[Standup2me]

Affect my marriage?
Which one, I've had four of them already
So, I am guessing that bp did affect it

[larali]

My husband is very, very patient and understanding, although he gets annoyed when I accuse him of silly stuff when I'm feeling bad.