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#1
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This is what my partner and friends have said. They have never seen anyone in as much pain as I am in and they "dont know what to do". They said they have never seen anyone suffer the way I have.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Atypical_Disaster, BipolaRNurse, Daonnachd, elin95, Lonlin3zz, Nammu, raspberrytorte, touched by fire, ~Christina
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#2
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I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you feel better soon. (((Hugs)))
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#3
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I wonder sometimes if we feel things more acutely than other people. Only my hubby gets to see me at my lowest, but when I'm there he feels bewildered and helpless at the pain I'm in-- and absolute anguish isn't too strong a description.
If we do feel our feelings more acutely than non BP's then we also demonstrate tremendous resilience and strength as we hang on through those horrendous lows long enough to survive until we come out of it. I've been following your struggles and I want to say that I think you've shown that tremendous strength and also a great deal of courage in getting help. If we do feel things more acutely, then I believe that goes for passion and joy as well as pain. Put on your seatbelt and ride this out a little longer. Brighter days are ahead. This won't last forever. In the meantime, keep taking the help you got for yourself and give yourself a huge pat on the back for being so brave :-) |
![]() Anonymous200280, cashart10
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![]() cashart10
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#4
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Did you friends ask if there was anything they could do to help you out?
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
#5
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Yeah they ask, but only when I am super bad. I straight out said today exactly what I needed to a number of close friends. None could help today, the next time anyone can see me is friday. I really needed help today. I ended up SH which I havent done in a while and passed out from the relief I felt. I started crying when I woke up again. I was so sad I woke up. I wish this was hormonal but there is no way it could be.
I guess I take zyprexa again tonight, I am not passed the bad as I thought I was. |
#6
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Take the zyprexa is should ensure you get some sleep which will help pass the time. Im sorry you SH, I have gone over 2 years since I last SH it's been a struggle so I feel your pain , I do.
This will cycle, it always does, Try to remember you had found stability and things were going well, You can and will find it again. Stay safe ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
#7
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I would say zyprexa or anything else that too be blunt, makes you kind of sleepy kind of numb at this point.
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#8
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Ive taken my prn 10 mg zyprexa and 2mg Ativan (I'm sposed to take 2.5 but the 1mg tablets dissolve and are sposed to work quicker). I'm trying to stay safe until they kick in but I can't stop screaming and crying. I am glad I am alone. Screaming has been a more recent development for me. It doesn't help but I can't seem to control it either whe I am that bad.
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![]() Anonymous45023, ~Christina
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#9
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Better you scream and cry than hold it all in.
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
#10
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Screaming feels good. I do that sometimes too (I go driving and do it). I actually lost my voice one time doing it.
I hope you feel better soon.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#11
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I am so sorry for your pain. I am sorry your friends are not more helpful. I hope things look up for you. You are needed and loved!
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
#12
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sharing support....
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#13
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HUGS to you. I'm so sorry you feel this way.
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DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
#14
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