[Fester430]

Since my husband's first manic episode last summer, we are both dealing with the fall out that it has caused. He is dealing with extreme guilt and depression and I realize that I am still very sad ,very depressed, not only over what happened but the illness we now both believe that he is suffering from.
How does anyone else out there cope with what they have done while manic? Especially when extremely hurtful and damaging to a loved one.
And how does those of us who love someone with this condition get over the terrible things people can do during an episode?

Any insight would be welcome.

[romanjames2004]

I my best to just clean up whatever I did afterward. I have been through hell and back. After being manic I usually have to deal with fines, tickets, and other things finacially as well as trying to fix my reputation. i get alittle wild when I turn manic. I feel extremely guilty afterward but I just remember that Its going to happen and I have to make the best out of it.

I hope that sort of helps.

Roman

[Fester430]

Do you find that you have any control when you are manic? can you feel it coming on, or are you into it before you realize that it is happening? My husband is convinced that he will never do what he did ever again. Is this an unrealistic goal? or perhaps everyone is different.

[Michah]

Hi sweetie, I had my first manic episode in 2007 and ended up in hospital. I can't recall hurting anyone, physically(though I wanted to) or emotionally but I know my partner really suffered and he was scared for me. I remember feeling slightly embarrassed by my behaviour at work but my colleagues where very understanding and it was actually them that got me into hospital!

I was just a maniac and very delusional. I had no idea. I am very intolerant of people especially idiots so I didn't feel I needed to explain myself to anyone after the fact. I didn't hurt anyone or break the law so what do I need to feel guilty about? I wasn't well.

The depression after was absolutely shattering while I waited for my meds to kick in. There is nothing abnormal about how you feel about your husbands condition. My partner went through the same thing. It is terrifying.

Good luck........things improve day by day......bit by bit.

After I was manic, I went through a long depression, part of the cycle of things. It took a while for my meds to be correct and pull me out of it.
While I hurt my husband by falling in love (my delusion) with a man I'd never talked to or saw in person (it was all on the trouble net), I couldn't feel guilty about it. I do feel bad about the 1000 dollar plane ticket I bought to go see my 'friend' in England, but even that got used for a good thing. My husband and I had been having trouble for a long time, so I was vulnerable...I put it to my bp and anger at my husband and I hope it never happens again. But as long as my husband and I are like we are, I feel vulnerable to the next guy who comes along. Which may have already happened. My pdoc says as long as I stick with my meds and ther. then I should be ok. I watch for things. Depression has been my worst thing all my life, I only went seriously manic that one time, otherwise hypomanic. No hosp. no jail time so I'm lucky...I know it too. The internet has put me in a place I would never find myself in 'real life'. That is a concern.
I hope you and your husband get some counseling and can work this all out. Mine and I are trying a new counselor next week, hopefully this one will be better than the last.

[Fester430]

Thanks for replying. Yes my husband and I are in counseling together and we love each other very much. I understand that he was manic when this thing happened but to be honest, if it happens again, I will continue to stand by him and love him,and support him as best I can but not as his wife.

[St. John Wort]

Dealing with guilt is difficult for me. I dont deal very well and I am manipulated by people all the time because of it. I read a book called in sheeps clothing about manipulative people and it says that people with obsessive/excess guilt are the most easily manipulated. What sucks is that I had to read the damn book before I realized it myself.

Another problem-since I have "gone crazy" I am susceptible to being blamed for things I didn't say or do because I'm "crazy". See manipulated section above.

I have lost many friends- but luckily I'm paranoid so I didn't trust em' anyways.

I hate taking my meds but people generally lay off when they know I'm being responsible and taking them.

Take your meds!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fester430]

my husband has always been easily manipulated I have always felt the need to protect him from people who want to take advantage of him. This manic episode was no different in that it involved someone who didn't care about him and did not care if he was hurt in any way. We are both new to this and his meds are starting this week. We both have our fingers crossed that this road we are on won't be too bumpy.

[madisgram]

i hope that things will go as smoothly as possible. it sometimes takes up to 28 days for a med to become at a theuraputic level, so allow this time and if your hubby is fortunate like me they will kick in sooner.
sometimes it takes some tweaking of the doseage or even changing a med for something more suitable to the patient. it's somewhat a triaal and error sort of thing. and don't forget we're here for you all too if you need support or just to share your progress with us. we care....

[bpfarmerswife]

I realize this is an old post, but now two years after my husband's first manic episode, I'm sitting here with the same exact questions and am just wondering if anyone has anything new to offer as advice?

He received diagnosis of BP 1, has been med compliant, lets me attend all Pdoc appointments, has stopped all alcohol, and I have access to all email accounts, phone records, etc. even have GPS on his phone per PDoc's recommendation.

It's still very hard to deal with the aftermath of the manic episode and honestly believe that he truly did not "want" to do the things he did during mania nor does he fully remember. Psychiatrist tries to assure me husband was not in control it was all illness symptoms but that's a hard pill to swallow.

Thanks for listening as this is a hard time for it is the two year anniversary of the manic episode and it's all flashing back like it was just yesterday.