[yanks7]

So I was wondering about something. I am a guy that doesn't date (don't really know how to), doesn't particularly enjoy social settings (don't mind them just get burnt out quick), has no friends (well that not true I have one friend but he is moving next week) and no job till school starts . I have been dealing with this all summer, who am I kidding most of life. Anyway my question is how do you guys/gals handle being alone for what feels like forever?

[ensconce]

I actually like being alone, I have a few friends but in reality I only trust one of them since the other seem to trigger me really bad. At times I spend months up to even a year without going out once and I enjoy it. For some though being alone is difficult with no one to talk to.

[CopperStar]

The Internetz

[Sesiley]

Alone is not a bad thing. Try meet me app. Plus, it's rare to find a TRUE friend

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[Ripose]

I have zero friends and I rarely go out in public alone. I have my wife and the Internet and that has been more than enough to meet my needs for years now. If my wife was not here and I was alone I am quite sure I would start drinking again while I surfed the net.

I have always been a loner though as I don't like people in general.

It's important (for people in general) to remember that being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Loneliness sucks. I know, because I experience it a lot, too. (Either from way too much alone time, or from being in the midst of others and feeling disconnected.) For me, the internet helps for sure, but much still remains, unfortunately.)

Sometimes, being alone can be in a sense of choosing to be alone for thinking and reflection. That is a good thing, and would best be described as solitude. It's when we [i]don't[i] want solitude or to be alone that that it can be loneliness.

Also, one can find being alone unbearable and feel the need to have someone else around all the time. That's not good either. It seems there are 3 variations (maybe more) on the theme.

So yanks, to your question, I'd have to say that I don't deal with it particularly well. BUT, sometimes handle it ok. Those times, I find are based in reframing, which puts it more in the "what would I like to do that others may have no interest in?" This time can be used to actually do them! Silly example, but here goes. I've always wanted to get an all day bus pass and travel around all day, simply to see parts of the city that I don't already know. Being able to kick back and actually see in a way that driving would not allow.

So, reframing maybe? Seeing it as a freedom? It might not exactly "solve" it, but may usefully pass some of the time, and you never know, could open an opportunity or enjoyment that might otherwise be missed.

[yanks7]

Originally Posted by Ripose

I have zero friends and I rarely go out in public alone. I have my wife and the Internet and that has been more than enough to meet my needs for years now. If my wife was not here and I was alone I am quite sure I would start drinking again while I surfed the net.

I have always been a loner though as I don't like people in general.

That is kind of where I am at, this is exactly when I start drinking except being on latuda makes that a horrible experience. I am worried that if gets worst that I will drink despite the consequence to my body

[yanks7]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

It's important (for people in general) to remember that being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Loneliness sucks. I know, because I experience it a lot, too. (Either from way too much alone time, or from being in the midst of others and feeling disconnected.) For me, the internet helps for sure, but much still remains, unfortunately.)

Sometimes, being alone can be in a sense of choosing to be alone for thinking and reflection. That is a good thing, and would best be described as solitude. It's when we [i]don't[i] want solitude or to be alone that that it can be loneliness.

Also, one can find being alone unbearable and feel the need to have someone else around all the time. That's not good either. It seems there are 3 variations (maybe more) on the theme.

So yanks, to your question, I'd have to say that I don't deal with it particularly well. BUT, sometimes handle it ok. Those times, I find are based in reframing, which puts it more in the "what would I like to do that others may have no interest in?" This time can be used to actually do them! Silly example, but here goes. I've always wanted to get an all day bus pass and travel around all day, simply to see parts of the city that I don't already know. Being able to kick back and actually see in a way that driving would not allow.

So, reframing maybe? Seeing it as a freedom? It might not exactly "solve" it, but may usefully pass some of the time, and you never know, could open an opportunity or enjoyment that might otherwise be missed.

That is a great point I am lonely not necessarily alone. Thanks for the advice I like that idea about the bus maybe I will try that

[gina_re]

I'm going to have to agree with innerzone. Being alone by choice and being lonely are two different things. I prefer to be alone and enjoy my solitude. Apparently I have since i was young because my mom tells me I played by myself a lot as a young child. Sure there are times when I would like someone to go out with but I usually get over it because of all the extra annoyances that come with it. I do what I want when I want how I want.
Buuuuutt....if I'm in a depressive phase, that's when it's tough, like how I'm feeling currently. But I have to keep doing things that make me happy like when I'm stable. It's easy to say no I want to stay under the covers and complain and be miserable, but I'm trying and waiting for my meds to kick in.
I hope you're able to find some meaning in all of this and what you want out of life.

and I'm a gal that hasn't had a date in at least four years, you're not alone in this. pm me if you ever do wanna vent about it

[Christopher1990]

Loneliness is tough. I do things with friends occasionally. I don't enjoy going to bars and i never really did.

I haven't had a real gf in like 5 years. Last girl I was with was married and I was manic.

But, I miss that feeling of being able to talk to someone all the time about anything. I miss that friendship. I miss the sex.
I miss being in love..

If I was manic, I'd have no problem finding a girl. Because become so outgoing, confident, and everything.

It's hard to meet people when your depressed.

[loophole]

I enjoy either being alone or being with my kids... My wife is a pia

Sent from my iPhone 6 plus using Tapatalk

[yanks7]

Originally Posted by gina_re

I'm going to have to agree with innerzone. Being alone by choice and being lonely are two different things. I prefer to be alone and enjoy my solitude. Apparently I have since i was young because my mom tells me I played by myself a lot as a young child. Sure there are times when I would like someone to go out with but I usually get over it because of all the extra annoyances that come with it. I do what I want when I want how I want.
Buuuuutt....if I'm in a depressive phase, that's when it's tough, like how I'm feeling currently. But I have to keep doing things that make me happy like when I'm stable. It's easy to say no I want to stay under the covers and complain and be miserable, but I'm trying and waiting for my meds to kick in.
I hope you're able to find some meaning in all of this and what you want out of life.

and I'm a gal that hasn't had a date in at least four years, you're not alone in this. pm me if you ever do wanna vent about it

I might take you up on that thanks

Im better off alone. No one has to put up with me then.

In saying that I have a close group of friends who have banded together the last week for me. I wish I could appreciate it but I dont feel worth their time. I also have a caring bf, but I feel smothered by him at the moment.

I prefer to chat online.

[yanks7]

Originally Posted by loophole

I enjoy either being alone or being with my kids... My wife is a pia

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I have hear that about her

I spend a lot of time alone and for the most part i enjoy it. I like the freedom and spontaneity. I like not having to negotiate with someone over every little decision like the daily argument about what to have for dinner my x and i used to have.

Sometimes i feel lonely but it is for someone who would 'get' me; someone who would laugh at the same things and like the same music and that kind of person is pretty rare. I've been alone for 20 years, except for acquaintances and i think it's likely i will continue in this way. It's fine with me.