[jtassar93]

I'm feeling a bit lost and alone here, so trying to reach out.
I was wondering what everyone's experiences were like.

How long is it between your episodes? Is it like a cycle or random?
What are your depressive episodes like?
And what are you (hypo)manic episodes like?

Thanks everyone.

[wiretwister]

sorry you feel lost , lot of really good people here , ...my depression was one step up from death , almost made it , better lately just pissed off at myself lately , .... hope you make friends ... chat is a good place to reach out ....

I grew up with a lot of depression and anxiety, interspersed with hypomanic periods where I engaged in a lot of risky behavior. Then I had my first, full mania with psychosis after having some life stressors. That was followed by the worst, soul crushing deep depression. That was in November/January. The last few months have been a rebuilding period. I finally got a good, low dose medication regimin and feel almost back to normal.

[Strawberry!]

I have always had more episodes of depression than hypo/mania. The depression is devastating. I can't stop crying and worrying about everything. As far as the "up"swings, I tend more towards hypomania. Now these episodes I don't mind so much. I think I'm pretty cool when I'm hypomanic. I have lots of energy, need very little sleep, my husband is happy because I am hypersexual, and I am very insightful. Unfortunately, I also have no filter, and I should not be handed a credit card, because I will spend us into the poorhouse. I've been diagnosed bipolar I because I have had the pleasure of having a few full blown manic episodes - one which required hospitalization. For me mania is like a bad "trip" that you think will never end - you can't shut your brain off. Although I've never run naked through the streets, I have been known to think people are following me or listening in to my phone conversations, and I could swear that I've heard people in my house at night on more than one occasion. As far as patterns, I can't find any. My moods seem to be random, although stress can definitely trigger a depressive episode. I hope that helps. I'd love to hear what other people have to say.

[secretgalaxy]

I was depressed throughout my childhood, with spurts of tiny hypos, in which I would create 5-6 art things in a day, or be very irritable and spaz out. As a kid I was always paranoid, believed that demons were going to get or kill my family, I couldn't shower by myself, etc. Because I was that scared of my beliefs. I still have them now, but they are much much better. As I grew up I had times where I would be very depressed, and my hypos got bigger. Went to the hospital fro depression, got given an AD, went full manic with severe psychotic symptoms and should have stayed in the hospital but my mom thought she could handle it. After that I went into a very deep depression in which either meant hospital again, or partial hospitalization (group therapy every day for 4 hours, six weeks). I became manic in there but they controlled it with meds. Now I'm back to individual therapy and got a new pdoc.

My depressions are filled with delusions that I have to die. The urges get so strong and the voice in my keeps pestering me, that I usually need some kind of professional help to get through it. My manias as pretty crazy with the belief I'm being watched makes me not shower or change my clothes, my other voice comes and sings all the time, and I have bad hallucinations. I also stop eating and I would only drink caffeinated drinks as I believed that the government poisoned all other foods and that caffeine cancelled out the poison placed in it. That's just a tid bit of what happens.

The length of my Mania is around 3-4 months untreated, and depression can go over a year, but it is usually 5-6 months. My cycles are somewhat random, but I know I will get depressed in the winter and manic in spring. I may or may not have manic episode while in the winter but I know for sure I will get depressed at some point.

[Wolf13a]

Hey...I just signed up for psych central last night because my doc just made 2small med changes and I immediately went into sleeping for 5 days straight and have been a little manicky since I woke up. It's been awesome (super sarcastic). I've only been diagnosed for under 2 years and I still have no idea what each day will bring. I'm just trying to open myself up a little and see if maybe, just maybe I'll learn some tricks of the trade. Are you new here too?

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[coffeebuzzbuzz]

I am just now starting to see a slight pattern with my episodes. It seems like I am depressive for 2 weeks, then neutral for 2 weeks(give or take, seasons and life events also a factor). Not sure exactly when my mania hits. It seems random. I always hope for it though, since I feel really happy and excited, extremely productive. I tend to put myself down a lot for being lazy, since I was told I am my entire life. No one seems to understand(or care) that depression means lack of interest. I would think someone who is actually lazy would enjoy doing nothing. Whereas I do not like it at all. Ok, kind of went off on a tangent there, sorry.