Conflicted

I am at a point in my life at which I need to start "making things happen" on a professional level. I'm not suggesting a force of the issue, more vigilance than anything else. I need to turn the wheel myself. No one is going to do it for me.

At the same time, being BP, I'm trying to "let life come to me" and not get paranoid about what needs to be done and what will happen if it doesn't get done.

I suppose this is a big part of anyone's problem who has BP. Simply letting things happen doesn't make all that much sense to me. But the running around and the buzzing and the constant go go go isn't good either. I have reeled it in a lot lately but now need to get down to business and move ahead.

Any suggestions relative to balance? Does anyone else think this way? Is it a matter of doing the best we can and letting things fall where they may? Pushing the envelope only pushes my BP buttons.

I'm learning now about "containment"--being able to pull your emotions out of a box when necessary and then put them back in. Read up on emotional regulation/self-regulation.

Hey Row....

I don't have a lot of good advice....I'm kind of past that point in my life....and given the BP-induced chaos of the last two years....am content to just let it come to me.

But, I certainly understand the drive.....you know yourself....and your particular flavor of BP better than anyone.....I'm confident that you will find that "middle ground" for moving forward without going off the rails!

I think you are on the right track with letting it come to you, but its not a bad thing to have goals. I think the trick is to have daily goals that lead up to your long term goals, and making lists of small things to accomplish each day instead of taking it all on at once (which is what i do lol). Its a constant conflict with me...when im depressed i cant do anything, when im manic i try to do allll the things i didnt do when. iwas depressed in a sense of making up for lost time and catching my life up, but that always fails because i end up overhwhelmed, extremely irritated and angry, cant focus on one thing bc im tryng to focus n it all and cant decide what to do next....and then nothng gets done that way either. My counsler gave me a weekly chart that I was supposed to fill in two or three SMALL things to accomplish each day and I havent touched it because its a list and i cant follow lists because they feel too routine and strict. I try to go with the flow. Now it seems like Im so scared of doing more than one thing a day because i think its goijg to overwhelm me and irritate me. Sometimes my careful thinking works in the opposite direction, but then again youre inly supposed to do what u feel u can handle and maybe thats really all i can handle. Wow that turned into a ramble about myself, so gettung back to the point...have goals but pace yourself and be weary of feeling overwhelmed.

I guess you have to ask yourself if, as someone with bipolar disorder, you can handle the next level of your profession and not fail. It is a negative point of view, to be sure, but it is important to find the highest level of challenge that we can face successfully. I know that I am dying to find a new job with more responsibility, but I am aware that I might not be able to cope with the stress and other demands of that kind of job. So I'm staying where it is safe, at least for now. I just can't afford to put myself in a position where I might lose what I've worked so hard to gain.

Woolly, thanks - I feel the same way. I'm sort of bored with what I do but at the same time, it is stable and I've learned how to cope with this and that. I'm not even sure the next step is worth the time or effort. It will be new and challenging but I'm not always convinced it will be the best thing for me.

Plus, everyone is "encouraging" me to take the next step......that doesn't help either.

Dysphoric, keeping things short term is a great idea......I suppose I never looked at it that way. I'm always planning three steps ahead to "make sure" it works out.

I'm going to give your approach some thought - it sounds a lot more reasonable and a bit balanced. Right now, I'm talking about a "two year plan" with my wife - where we'll be, where I'll be with my career, where the kids will be in school, and how it all inter-connects. I get concerned that if I don't push the envelope and literally force the change I want, it never happens.

But maybe, as you suggest, that's just too far ahead. I think you're right about that.

Wibbly, my biggest challenge is my emotions (especially anger) get the best of me. I've been working hard to a actually *keep* it in the box and never take it out.

I think just by asking you're on the right track! Balance seems impossible to me, but I've only been diagnosed BP for about a year. Best of luck to you!!

I feel your pain! I go go go all the time and and there is no structure...spontaneous everything.

Kids...work...school...homework...errands...doctors...kids school....oh my!!!!!

I can't let it come to me bc it seems as though I become lazy. Next thing I know my anxiety shoots up the roof...so I have to stay busy and be productive

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G750A using Tapatalk