[hopeless2015]

Struggling today for some reason...just 3 more hours of work, I can do this!!

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[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Ocean Swimmer

I'm doing better than I thought I would. I have workers here at the ranch. The good news is it allows me to go to the beach and swim.
Meds working good.

I am so jealous of you being able to swim.
It is -16 here right now

[Standup2me]

I feel like I am getting manic. I can't sleep, my head is buzzing, I am right on edge. Lights are too bright, colours too robust, noise too loud and smells too noxious.

[scatterbrained04]

Facing a med change for my 10yo because insurance won't cover his Focalin XR, and I can't keep paying $170 for it alone every month. He's been so stable for 2 years. I'm so scared and nervous I feel like I'm going to puke. I feel like United Healthcare is f***ing with my kid's life.

[Moreta]

I am sad. My cat the Wendy is not doing well.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Moreta

I am sad. My cat the Wendy is not doing well.

I will include her in my prayers tonight. My cats are my babies, so I know how you feel.

[Christopher1990]

Feeling pretty good, just trying to enjoy whats in front of me and let things be. No need to worry about much right now, because everythings going good as far as work goes. I dont have much to complain about. Going to try and spend some time with my Aunt this weeked. I've decided to get back into working out as well. And maybe finish an old prject.


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[YMIHere]

Called out of work today, but ended up going in for half a day. I was EXHAUSTED. So now I'm trying to remember how I was sleeping over the last week or so.

When I saw my therapist last Thursday I was crushing on him HARD. I obsessed over it for DAYS. Something like 3 or 4. Then 2 days later I noticed I hadn't thought of it at all which was weird. Can't remember if more of my manic signs were there besides that kind of buzzing. Back to tired again. Going to bed. Nite.

[gayleggg]

The depression is better. I still have no energy or motivation but I shouldn't complain because at least the depression is better, right?

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[Open_Book]

In a fog and cant seem to shake it. Want to do nothing but sleep. No interest in doing anything.

[scatterbrained04]

Doing ok today. Not physically 100% though.

Still have a nagging feeling that my life is crashing down around me. It probably isn't as bad as I feel it is.

Super anxious about my son's med change.

[Moreta]

I'm happy we got some unexpected cash, so now we can take the wendy to the vet on monday. My husband also got the mortgage caught up and paid off his CC.

[Wander]

I am IP at the moment. Since I was put on Saphris I have been feeling GREAT! A little hypomannic but it is such a holiday from the mixed hell I was in. I just hope it stays that way.

[Nammu]

Had a MH review today...I feel like life has conspired to keep me alive.....for what? this life is no life at all, I hada life before MI. Now I just hide in my department.

[hopeless2015]

Doing OK, felt like crap for a couple days with sore throat etc...

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[scatterbrained04]

Feeling ok. Have been doing some chores. The big chores that really need done feel very overwhelming though. I'm trying. Having a date night tonight, so super excited about that. It's much needed.

[gayleggg]

Feeling a little less depressed but still unmotivated. In other words about the same.

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[YMIHere]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

Feeling a little less depressed but still unmotivated. In other words about the same.

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I definitely hear that.

[Unrigged64072835]

Back to kind of blah again with moments of good here and there.

[YMIHere]

Does anybody else ever look around and have the thought that mental illness is BS and you're just inherently FLAWED?

That maybe if you tried you could look at the glass as half full but you don't want to? That maybe, if you did those things you like to do, that you don't want to do right now you might feel better? Did you ever look at someone else, think that their problems are so much worse than yours and that you should just shut the fvck up and get over it?

My worst is when I compare my sister and myself. I think we had the same upbringing, same parents. She has her trials and tribulations but she also believes not EVERYTHING is a mental illness. (Of course she's been on blood pressure medication for YEARS and I'm older than her.) She has a stepdaughter with some issues and she's listened to me long enough with my struggles, but one thing she'll call me out on is "choices."

We had this conversation the other day and I copped to bad choices. But I also said that with my undiagnosed ADHD, I also didn't have the clear cognitive functioning to make GOOD choices.

Part of me feels like I create this chaos on purpose (I probably do). Hoping therapy will help me find a way out of that.

I just feel a RAGE inside right now that I am quelling with alcohol. Or maybe it's not rage, but an unexplained anxiety.

In any event, I feel fvcked up. Can you tell?

[Standup2me]

Therapy or not?
How do I go to therapy when I don't really know why I'm there?

[hungo]

I am having the same problem after about 10 days of mania I suddenly find my self highly depress its as if nothing more matters but I suppose like you we will get through this.

[Wander]

Went to IKEA to buy a desk couch and storage cubes and had a massive panic attack. We had to leave before I got everything but at least I managed to get the desk. Very frustrated as I was feeling awesome yesterday. Stupid Bipolar!!!

[hopeless2015]

Feeling OK, freaking freezing here so its going to be a long day inside. Maybe I'll get ambitious and clean...or not lol

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[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Hope it is ok for me to start the new one. (#9 hit the post limit for a thread.)

How's everyone doing today?

Sunday, January 10th.... I'm feeling pretty good today. I think the Brintellix is doing well by me. I'm about to go take a shower and I think I will go see my sister at the nursing home today. I haven't seen her since before Christmas (I was sick on Christmas). Time to take her an extra present that hubby didn't deliver!