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#651
Dec 30, 2015, 04:07 PM
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Feel like everything is spiraling out of control. I've accomplished a lot of work today, but I'm not sure how. Someone please stop my world from spinning.
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 Anonymous45023
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#652
Dec 30, 2015, 05:17 PM
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Depressed, anxious and boared.
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| Anonymous45023, Takeshi
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#653
Dec 30, 2015, 06:30 PM
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In hospital after an alcohol and marijuana binge. Desperate for my drugs and booze but determined to get of it properly this time. My mood has tanked and I have been very agitated and panicked. I am not safe out of hospital now. What a way to spend NYE.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| Anonymous45023, Nammu, Takeshi, Unrigged64072835
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#654
Dec 30, 2015, 06:38 PM
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Overworked
Overwhelmed Over tired
__________________
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
| Anonymous45023, Takeshi
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#655
Dec 30, 2015, 09:18 PM
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I feel so sad and depressed, my dog died on the 23rd; she had a heart attack and died suddenly, the house is so empty without her. It's a loneliness I cannot nearly bear & she was only eight and a half
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| Anonymous45023, Shadesofdark, Takeshi
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#656
Dec 31, 2015, 11:25 AM
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I'm awake, I'm awake!
But not present I woke suddenly and still under the influence of meds. I was in the middle of a dream that's hanging on. I'm so confused I got an email that wanted conformation...I thought, I'm supposed to be there now? With relief I see its on the 4th. But again when she sent back thank you see you then I Ananias thought it meant today at 10am. I could find the first email and was wondering if it existed I was thinking my god...it's 10 how do I get there? I'm not dressed I'm in no condition to drive. Then I remembered to check the sent mail...yep it's for the 4th...next year. Never never again take the ambien at 3am. Go without sleep!
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous45023
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 Takeshi
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#657
Dec 31, 2015, 12:35 PM
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Feeling pretty overwhelmed still. Depressed, anxious. My house is a train wreck. Feel incapable of dealing with it, but I have to. Might have a little one at my place later today. I'm so tired of all of this. I don't know how much longer I can tow this line between ok and coming undone.
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| Anonymous45023
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#658
Dec 31, 2015, 12:51 PM
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To everyone going out tonight
Please don't drink and drive. Life is too fragile
__________________
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
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#659
Dec 31, 2015, 01:06 PM
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I'm not feeling so well today. Feeling physically sick. The depression isn't too bad so I hope the new AD is working but I'm pretty sure it's causing me to be sick at my stomach. I couldn't even drink my coffee this morning.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
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#660
Dec 31, 2015, 01:15 PM
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Attempting to start a new diet with my husband today, and trying to add in some light daily exercise again … a little nervous and hoping I'll be able to stick with it.
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#661
Dec 31, 2015, 03:23 PM
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Doing OK today
Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| avlady
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#663
Jan 01, 2016, 12:26 PM
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A bit hyper today, but it's a new year and I expected this. Feeling good.
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| avlady
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#664
Jan 01, 2016, 01:25 PM
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About 8 months back I was doing so well for far over a year that I made one of my biggest mistakes yet "I stopped my meds"
 I went into full blown mania for what seamed for ever. All my old demons came back anxiety, split personality,seeing and hearing things to full blown psychosis and hurting a complete stranger I was Hospitalized.More than two weeks pasted that is a complete blank I am back on meds and at the therapist twice a week. The nightmares is unspeakable and the voices is driving me insane and on top of all I get epileptic attacks. On the other hand I am getting better I just need support and understanding. To fall from the top of the world into the deeps or depression is no joke. Bipolar understand the opposites of this disorder and every good will or advise can be worth a thousand sunsets.
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| Anonymous45023, avlady, Nammu
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#665
Jan 01, 2016, 02:17 PM
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I keep crashing hard. My mind is twisted and ugly. I don't feel like I deserve anyone in my life. Seriously considering breaking things off with my boyfriend. I love him too much to put him through this mess. I deserve to be alone.
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| Anonymous45023, avlady
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#666
Jan 01, 2016, 05:19 PM
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Keep waking up at 4am despite being heavily sedated before sleep. I am getting about 6 hours sleep. Enough but odd considering all the meds I'm on. My nurse said an elephant would be comatose with the meds I'm on. I guess my body chemistry is special
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| avlady
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#667
Jan 01, 2016, 09:48 PM
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I self harm by filling my body with crap: biscuits, chocolates, pizza, frys, burgers, chips, and on and on and on.
Why? Why do I do this and how do I stop? Maybe I should try therapy in 2016?
__________________
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
| avlady
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#668
Jan 01, 2016, 10:00 PM
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I had a day at home alone. I slept in and texted with a frnd a little
Sent from iPhone 6 Plus using Tapatalk
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
| avlady
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#669
Jan 01, 2016, 10:49 PM
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I keep having random memories of various hospitalizations and wondering...was that really me? Did I really think I was a ballerina? Did I really think they had to let me out so I could solve the pollution and population problems? How is it I wasn't locked away forever?
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous45023, avlady, Takeshi
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#670
Jan 02, 2016, 03:49 AM
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When I had my back operation I was a little bit in the blues but it was only for a week at the most. I also want to ad that I also started seeing my therapist and pdoc after a long time and it is helping.
Good luck to you |
| avlady
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#671
Jan 02, 2016, 04:00 AM
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no problem for me what will you name the next one I am seeing forward to that
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#672
Jan 02, 2016, 06:40 AM
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Quote:
oh i feel your pain why do we do it?. no idea. i used to think it was all down to emotions (the eating helped with the emotions), but i don't share that opinion anymore. think it's more because we just can't help doing it |
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#673
Jan 02, 2016, 10:02 AM
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Sun is shining today, yeah. Going to do a little shopping with my Mom and looking forward to it. Doesn't feel like Saturday, these long weekends have me thrown off but I'm not complaining
 Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
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#674
Jan 02, 2016, 12:28 PM
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Feeling bored but too depressed to do anything it. I did finally get dressed.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha |
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#675
Jan 02, 2016, 03:56 PM
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Feeling much better today.
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