[Takeshi]

Update! I went to a little branch of city council for help, then they gave me some info, places where I could call. And I picked the one that most employers would be scared of which is called Labor Standards Supervision Office, which is backed by the government.

The guy at the office agreed that I had the right to deny the request of me writing up the resignation letter, the company can't keep the status of my employment in limbo, as of now, I'm still employed without an actual job to do. And he made a call for me to tell them of my intentions, which is that I'm not gonna quit because ,,that's in the previous post.

My boss called and I was called in, they are big guys literally, I'm a bit scared, they could y'know, beat me up, bury me somewhere at a garbage dump site, mafia style.

To be honest, I think they are there to officially fire me. I hope they do. It's easier to think that, although I really liked working there doing good for this beautiful earth that we share. I'll be back and report the rest if I come out alive, I'm not usually scared of anyone but, the sleeplessness of past few days might get in my way.

[Cocosurviving]

My day was decent. I went to the gym and then ran a few errands

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[Unrigged64072835]

Feeling stuck as of late. Not much motivation to do anything. I'll keep writing and drawing and see if I can become unstuck.

[gayleggg]

Today I'm feeling a bit more down than I have been. I'm not sure why because it's a beautiful day. There are things I need to do but can't seem to motivate myself to do them.

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[Nix]

I feel like I am a shadow of the self I should be. Wondering if, when, or how that could change.

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[gina_re]

I was so desperate earlier. I felt so alone. I decided to keep my phone off for a few days so that my addiction to my phone and the pain it causes me can subside. Give my increase in Lamictal time to really take effect. I still feel desperate, but not having my phone to constantly check has helped. We'll see how long this "project" works.

[hopeless2015]

Feeling better got started on new med to help with the agitation

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[Takeshi]

I'm a bit confused, seem to be missing a thread I made last night. Anyhow, after the meeting with company men without a lawyer yesterday, I still need to work on this situation. It's Friday, 1pm, it took me a while but I wrote down what went down at the meeting, and came to a conclusion that what GM said and did to me with his request was unfair, so I'm heading out again to the Supervision Office, I'mma call in first, hopefully I'll be seeing and talking to the same guy from yesterday. My head is clearer because I slept for a few hours.

You may think odd that I showed my cuts on my arms and explained to him that I was sleepless and I used to see a psychiatrist yesterday, I thought that it was important that I explained to him honestly why I was there and to show him what I was, he couldn't careless, I didn't either but just in case if any of this could help others like myself, that's what was on my mind. I had no other intention other than what I just said.

I'm heading off to the office shortly, hopefully with my head intact.

Edit: I hope I'm not offending anyone with my recent posts. The truth of the matter is that almost anyone treat me as who I am, in real life or anywhere else. Why would we want to return kindness with kindness? Or paying it forward? My life still continues..

[Unrigged64072835]

Started cleaning up today, then had to stop because my back hurt. With all the weight gain it's going to be interesting to start exercising again once the basement is cleaned up. Bad feet, bad knees, bad back. Ugh.

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling like I need to stuff my feelings down and give the appearance of ok. Feel like it'll run people off to talk about it. Not necessarily depressed. Not real sure what I am. All the stuffing of feelings is making me want to SH.

[gayleggg]

Made it through the morning pretty good. Got a lot accomplished. After lunch I started to get really tired so I quit and came home about 1:30 pm. Overall I'm pleased with the day.

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Maybe there is a good word for this. All that comes to mind are words like floaty, disconnected, spaced out, lost. It's more like not feeling. Overwhelmed, kind of shut down. I know some of why, but not what to do.

Dinners (which are typically and decidely unimpressive as it is) have gone by the wayside. (Managed making [heating] soup and toast a couple nights ago.)

Been worse, been better. Whatever it is, it wouldn't be described as healthy or well. Probably need a med increase. So many important things to do, so much immobilization.

[gina_re]

Day two of smartphone detox. So far so good. Sometimes I feel isolated, but then again there is a reason I'm doing this. There is a reason I'm not good with close friendships, I expect too much from everyone. So then I go "crazy" and end it. I feel like I'm destined to be alone.

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Feeling like I need to stuff my feelings down and give the appearance of ok. Feel like it'll run people off to talk about it. Not necessarily depressed. Not real sure what I am. All the stuffing of feelings is making me want to SH.

My new approach this year for my own SH, will be the one where I think about my own Freedom and Responsibility. Just like what I know of my own MI, I'm thinking of taking the same approach for my SI problem. Comorbidity? I feel that one's feeding into the other, and vice versa. What else's involved?

I'm totally against the idea that anyone has the answers for us, be it the professional help, self help books, even your families's support, some has claimed here that they got their **** down, got a great support team and they seem to have mindfulness/meditation/therapies, y'all know what I'm talking about.

Take risks. Some of you know what I've been going through lately,

Definitely Triggering Wording used

Possible trigger:

I was abusive toward someone at work, I could sink my body into a sharp edge of a knife and end this all. Part of me feels that way, not to worry though, because, not only myself but I believe some of you out there think that I'll be alright too.

Statistics Manual. Everybody already is and will be just some statics someday. Okay, this guy, who doesn't know what he is/has, been off the professional help for a year. And this other guy comes along and saids: I have this for over 25 yrs! Everything has been under control, follow my steps! I can see you're making mistakes.

This all came from this video I was watching on youtube last night. This girl had a most excellent smile when she said, "I always be me." in that video. The moment she said it, and those moments when she was talking about her pills she used to take, I thought I understood how she felt about it. Of course she added at the end that y'all have choices, to stay on/off the medication provided.

That's about a year or two ago, now she's divorced, going through the messy settlement and studying something while she fights against GAD. I learned what it was like just yesterday, I see the same diagnosis here in PC on someone's sigs, that also requires good/working medications if the symptoms are severe enough to interrupt anyone's life.

What can we really do about it though?

Where do we focus, when things are looking bleak, folks with the similar/same suffering are having life's difficulties because of these MIs? Before I go on any further, I'd like to mention one more thing I noticed from that video. I've watched maybe just two of her videos? I don't think she has a classic Manic Depression, just so you know. What I noticed was that she said she was having less depression, she'd been spending her time mostly somewhere on the baseline or the above. I related myself to her statement.

Then there's many comments where people shows their depressed side in their lives here on PC, some wonders, are we all resistant to meds? I wondered it myself with my own experience on top of that. But here's the catch, although her mood as of late are fine, she didn't look she was doing any great at all. In this her sans meds video of hers, she was strongly suggesting that the good therapy that supported the basis of her life, which she worked so hard for was working. After watching her latest vid, I had to wonder, what happened to the life method of hers? After a year or so, it doesn't work any more?

I think I'm done with the youtube thing here now. Youtube vids invites all sort of comments for the user's videos. Some finds snide comments that are totally unsupportive, others are like, doesn't she look a bit hypomanic? Again, not that helpful, her segment on her experience with this army doctor was interesting to watch. What people say to each other, when they don't really care....

Well, let me mention briefly two other guys with bipolar that I was watching on youtube. You'd understand in the same way I do that people get self-conscious in front of a camera, and they want you to know what bipolar disorder is like. This ties into the view that I had this morning, and the view is in the previous post of mine from today. To be more specific, they had to use the words from DSM or anything that we are familiar with.

Let's get the focus back to us, all of us here on PC. And my point of view of course. Just like the youtube lady was saying, the therapy that once worked for her, I'd want something that sticks for the rest of my life to navigate around/through this ... mind. What came to my mind when I first joined PC while I was conducting my own research into this diagnosis I once had, I thought of perspectives. At first, I didn't know what it was really, I was like, sure, my life hasn't been working out that great, it is the way to see things, it is how I perceive things, alright. It sounds like all purpose tool that I could use to combat this, on top of the best cocktail that everyone was talking about here.

Is that almost the same thing as mindfulness? I get the feelings that they are different, this is something to do with language barrier, you see? That's not important. I was looking for something I could use for long term, is all. And let me tell you first hand, it has been working to this day, the big perspective change in my life.

So here's where I'm at. I've got a mirror. I have this standing mirror that shows all of my physical reflection that shows lots of scars on inside of my right arm, a big tat on my left arm, bearded face with a bit out of normal growing hair. My face itself, lots of wrinkles because my life hasn't been that easy, I talk to the guy in the mirror often. Just for laugh, this is from last night. I told myself in the mirror, "I don't do that like the guy from you tube, do I get hypomanic like that? Does my karaoke with Eminem's song on my Kindle look like that? Nah, whatever.."

I look a bit radical, and on top of that, I'm jobless and the unemployed. So you could say that yet again, I'm at a cross road in life big time. I live alone, I have been alone all my life, and it is still an understatement. I been thinking since last night that maybe I could write something on my profile the right biography of some sorts, and this is a progress.

5,6,7 yrs of total isolation from the world, I withdrew from anything and anyone, if I count the friendless, no social interaction years of the rest of my life, I could say that I have been one, a sole existence in my reality my whole life, except the reflection in the real mirror or whatever I perceived as myself in my own mind, the bad rotten, depressed self. My own self imprisonment of the mind,,,,,,

Let me rewind the time back to , say 3 yrs prior and go through it quick 'cos it gets boring. Up until that point, that's the most hellish, showerless!, stinkin' dark years of my life, with not much money being on a government support for my finances and the roof over my head, no one really helped because I didn't have the energy to get my *** back up. For 7 yrs, something like that. Then I got the job that I'm about to leave soon, I look to the right and looked to the left, I knew that if I were to have walked the same path I used to take, I knew I wouldn't last long, but I had no choice, that is when I started seeing a psychiatrist, she started me on anti-depressant, and onto mood stabilizer, the all familiar route.

The meds didn't do much, I had been having vague suicidal tendencies because the life I was leading was boring the **** outta me despite this little savings in my bank account, a little irritability here and there, just a gloomy ****ing worthless existence was what I was about back then. I guess that's when I joined here, I'm not so sure now. I came looking for the best med combo, I was wondering back then what other form of help that I could find here. Like so many others, I didn't know things at all, like mindfulness? What's that? A set of tools in your toolbox, support team, talk therapy, whatever, man. I hadn't had the slightest idea how things work around here, as well as how things are supposed to fit into my life to make it better.

And maybe I should mention in this writing again that, um, I found this chick who pops her head in places where it might not belong! I wonder how she's doing right now, she's still a stranger, not a friend of mine but I trust her that her success story will continue. Her help was,,, has been the most influential in this journey of mine. Whitaker. She led my mind to him, and her own perspectives of things, let's take a look at things from another perspectives, I believe that's what he's about. Are these (new/old) meds effective? Let's take a look at the researches/sciences, the concrete data, let me just stop myself here and say the science is not a religion that you can follow and expect your life to get better.

I myself sometimes sounds preachy, but that's not the point I'm trying to make. For us to try to help each other, we can all recognize that some are good at researching, has loads of experiences/knowledge about the psychology/sciency side of things, let them help if you need those.

Let me take a pause and say that I'm not taking sides. And, guess what? (I'm gonna lie) I'm anti psychology, I'm a scientologist. This is all the same to me, two sides of the same coin, helps me to see things clearly. Then there's another thing, human side of things, that is emotional or maybe they are your convictions, you get to decide how you like to pop your head in.

The war, the battles, they usually take two or more sides, even within my self. This is where it gets confusing for me, although I'm grateful for my own perspectives as of this moment, seeing both sides and I feel alright understanding that way, the presented reality and the perceived truth always comes after the fact.

The gathered intelligence and new perspectives, I believe that the answer we've all looking for are already here. In a sense. So this one self, with his own inner conflict overcame himself and brought him back self together while he opened himself up to anything he could think of. I'm back here now as one. And I need the reality check since I could be a bipolar, right? Two sides of the same coin, remember? I see myself in a lot of things, that's how I learn.

My brainlessness, insaneness, this uneducated self has helped himself with all the help I got from here. And y'know, I don't know why, this is something I need to try to change, which is I can't read much, anywhere. There are ton of things/posts that I want to read about, I wanna follow up on some members here and read, I wanna read stuff on Other Menatal Issues, and Current Affairs? The news, I tried John Oliver a while ago and his material wasn't that funny, haha. My point is that even though I don't read as much as any of you here, all the time I spent here has helped me greatly, more than you could imagine.

An example. we see many people from all walks of life here, I think this is probably true for many of us that we tend to spend time in particular parts of this gigantic forum, there will be much more if you follow the path of others. Anyhow, I used to not know what to do or how I feel about when someone is not doing so great. Of course they've shared in the past how bad things get for them, I felt that it was unbearable for me to think of them at times like that, plus they've got their own lives and experiences to get through or whatev.

Having gone through the tough times myself lately, and felt that many of members here helped me along the way, I can never think like that again. My head literally hurts by thinking what to write, it happens when I try to read too, but I could give myself, more of my time to help. All we've got for each other is ourselves and the time. And here's another thing that was on my mind. We compare and contrast, we see competitions everywhere. I say we could do the same or more than what MI professionals can do for us.

Back to that 25yrs under the belt guy a bit, he or someone claimed that those professionals knows more than she thought she knew about her illness, essentially telling her to get back to her medication, and other comments reinforce that stance by saying I'm bipolar too, and I haven't been able to manage, I myself has been on and off meds so many times.

I'm still green, been thinking seriously only for the past year or so. We are lucky that we still have so many experienced members decided to stay with us. I'll never claim to know what mental unwellness I have and know what to do with it. It is neither advantage or disadvantage. I refuse to think like that. I can,,but more importantly, I am what I am, I always be me.

Hmm,,,Understandings. Let me finish my writing with this thoughts. Things aren't always black and white. How can anyone understand me? I know my own depression, all the thoughts and ideas, things that could get me through goes out of the window, everyone's wired differently, so you can't possibly understand me. Then someone comes along, who decides to be kind to you for whatever reasons, and I understand that now. I keep saying that I don't read much, that is true, somehow I can't. Say someone throws unkind words towards my way, over the years, without no one really telling me why or how, I became this stoic person, the only person who can change myself is me, apatheia. You see, I just get my hands on things I've heard or read without really studying them, following up what they really mean. And I always have this words in my head and started to make sense to me.

"Existence precedes and rules essence."

That's just what I believe in and what helps me. Someone a while back here in this bipolar forum posted a thread like, "We are what we make out to be, do you agree?" I guess I do. When someone lose themselves in their head, we can help and wait for them to come back and be what they wanna be. It'll be the decisions for someone like me and for some of you, it'll be a lord's way. Allah, diety, what have you.

I have figured this out without actually reading up on Satre, or whatever the ideas that I got going in my life. Just occasionally dropping by here at PC, while I witness some life's interaction. Now I believe I can make my own life better, it is really confusing I tell ya, I read everyone's post and is that my own reflection? I'm the one who thinks and weave this reality of mine, is that a bipolar thing? I don't know.

No matter what the truth is, I decide to love and care for you all here.

Thanks for reading and encouragement and all that.

[gayleggg]

I'm more depressed today. Maybe from watching movies that suck all day. Haven't felt like getting off the couch all day. Still a little sick at my stomach. I do wish that it would go away but I think the medicine is causing it so I may have to live with it.

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[Takeshi]

http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...other-you.html (I haven't the time to read it all again, I'd like to do that later on.)

The words that surround us can be tricky, sometimes they can be deadly.

The above post is our wisdom, knowledge we combine here, but that is not enough, I believe we can do more. And you might notice the second line of this post where I used the word 'deadly'. Strangely enough, I've noticed that theme of death and me using it without hesitation, not giving it a second thought at all in almost all of my past few posts I believe. The reason why I looked up the slightly old post is that I wanted be kind to others in this post, but I seems to have a lot that I wanna let out right now, so, just be patient with me, I'm going to have to use my own judgement and words to do the work here today.

Like I said, the thread above might be able to help us understand about the world that surrounds us, including the mental illness issues we face everyday. In my humble opinion, no words should bother anyone. I'm sorry, I can't quite organize my thoughts on this one, let me just go through it real quick, there's tons more that I like to ,,dig deep on this post of mine.

So the point is, we throw each others words, when words are interpreted differently and think to themselves, can we still be friends? Is he/she a friend or foe? Do not let them bother you, or saying that just brush it off, no one meant to hurt you. How'd you know? From the last post of mine from this daily check in, you'd probably know that I'm a bit fussy about things and truth of that nature.

The fact check can't be done on my reality!

I'm just talking **** out of my *** here. Words entrap us. Here's an example from another thread, he's a kind kind man, he's been passing this wisdom to us time and time again here, let me forward it to you right here.

"That is also a symptom of ..."

Let me just be myself here for a minute. I can't always be so nice, I have a despicable mind, you understand.

How do you guys swallow that? Stomach it, how can you ****ing take that **** from anyone? On top of that, you guys throw around those words like nothing, when the truth of the matter is, those entrapment has been hurting us, could've been the cause of some death even.

Let's just put into bipolar context, that's easier for us, right? Mania and Depression. It could go either way, and it can be said by anyone, affected/and unaffected person(s). Your friends and families will think/say that, you are....

Am I overreacting here? Or is this the truth? Where do you find the truth? This brings me back to the time I was newly diagnosed, started to question my own doctor. At first, of course you listen to them, the manual saids, you have this or that illness/disease/disorders. Probably a linguist or some other specialist can tell you that these type of mis-understandings or whatever happens all the time, don't let them bother you, they are good doctors, just listen to them.

Am I anti-psychiatry? Do you go as far as to say that I'm anti drugs/meds, are you gonna attack my belief and principles? **** you!

We are all human, we seek the truth, or some evil minds likes to have fun with manipulating others, things can be what you make of it. Sure the DSM was made with the best of intentions, or the docs knows more than we do, we with some experiences of our own know what others don't know. We all want to be helped, sometimes so desperately when we need them the most. It's all simply a human nature.

To me, this seems beyond MI labeling and stuff, setting all that symptoms that make our lives difficult aside, we still have families/friends, work, the whole nine yard, the life itself. The truth/truthfulness vs manipulations. I'm not writing well here but, get this, "Isn't that a bit unfair?".

Spectrum of things, the degrees of things. As if we can almost will it away, probably not for many of us here right now, but do you remember yourself before your diagnosis?

I still somtimes have these little doubts when I come here. Let me trust every one of you, and that is very important for a mind like mine. When people don't take me seriously, I go berserk, guess I been like this most of my life, so I tend to avoid talking to people directly.

Hmm..... as you can see, I'm already a bit disorganized at 7 in the morning, I'd like to leave with this two thoughts combined. Having a shot at normal life, and how others see it. I'm thinking about this thread where the poster was asking basically if he could make it through, some answers that it would take a sheer will to push him self through. Then I'm thinking of this police officer who described his wife's life, using exactly the same words we use to describe the illness/quirks, she had to leave her loved ones behind.

I'm sorry, I have to leave with this morbid thought of mine again. I have concerns for myself too, so yea. I just wonder how much danger am I putting myself in right now? Nah, this is just my headache. phew... y'all have a nice day, I got more learning to do.

[scatterbrained04]

Not the greatest of days. End up with a bad headache on top of everything else. Layed in bed all afternoon. Did finally eat a decent meal though.

[Trakehnerjumper4]

After a terrible night last night! Went to see The Forest which if I was in a normal state of mind would have been fine (I love scary movies), but in a mixed state watching a movie about hallucinating in a suicide forest probably wasn't a good idea. It was good that I got off the couch and showered to go though. I was also able to call my pdoc (a lot of times I feel like I'm inconveniencing him), not that it was especially helpful but Im just going to bother him until he does more.

[Takeshi]

Why is over spending a part of hypomanic symptoms?

Sure I've done it, but not always, like right now, something's going on in my brain, there's this racing under current, it hurts and get me sleepless, I lost balance once tonight, I feel that I'm suffering. The medication should never have touched my brain, I'm not blaming it, it may have been helping me back then. The doctor should've given me a choice.

Even during those medicated years, I didn't exactly recognized my own cycles, something's iffy, I wonder what would be my natural state. I will keep suffering so that I could come back stronger. Another long year. I take freedom over anything in the world.

[hopeless2015]

Doing okay, freezing cold here for the next few days. Have tomorrow off work so no Sunday anxiety about going back to work , guess I'll save that for tomorrow lol

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[Takeshi]

'daily' check-in. D'you do that?

After 4,5 hrs of sleep, I woke up in the bed thinking lots of things. The moment of my consciousness kicking back into gears even without the help of coffee, not that interesting things happening but I guess I'm going to start typing a bit about it, since I want to be as productive as any other person on the planet, being unemployed and I have,,I need structure, that's what I'm trying to do.

Lately, I usually wake up, if I get some sleep holding pee. It's cold and rainy out, the sound of the rain was the first noise that came to my consciousness this morning. I knew it was gonna rain 'cuz I checked last night,,, yeah. Maybe I should start and connect from last night.

The connection between this morning and the last night. First thought, "Did I really do those things?"

(I been taking a bit of break here and there, had a bowl of serial, drinking coffee like water. Did a mother of laundry too last night, it took a lot of me yesterday..)

I consider myself lucky in this ordeal because I can still have these rather rational thoughts of mine, and express it most of the time. Sometimes, I think that when I start to think more, the more my brain seems to be hurting, and if I try to rest it, it feels it is wanting to do more. So I'm being sandwitched, and I'm going to be delicious someday.

So, yeah, online stuff, offline stuff, that's my normal to check back on what I did, what I said, but I can't manage to do the check on all of the things, I know I did, just don't wanna believe it sometimes, I guess, I have this shy personality intact somewhere. I'm looking at lots of my thoughts from this morning, only has been half an hour or so since I got up, let's get on with it before those are gone.

The big why, why am I choosing this way of life? Go see a doctor and check your head out, and let them, or do the help yourself, that's only one way to look at this thing. I shouldn't be telling too much of my pains and struggles here, because this won't help much, in any case, my case is milder, every time I look into forum threads from here, I feel that way.

I really don't read much of stuff outside of this very thread in bipolar section, this morning I realized that why that is. Because this place is like any other places the people drive what's been discussed and I want to have some control over it, I guess this is not only my wisdom, but that's shared with so many others here, that for newly diagnosed person, without educating themselves on MI, can get a bit ..too much. The informations can get too much of an uninteded bad effect on them, just the internet, right? You need moderation, self control over things you do.

I was reading "how to prevent hypo", last night, used some of the advice there. I forgot about the overspending and sleep!, I just picked one that was the easiest, so I popped two aspirin, with some valerian pills, they worked. I don't believe in 100% no caffeine theory though, I don't drink nor do drugs, I just want to keep the love for coffee in my life, that is all.

People are bad enough, they consider their situation bad enough to fix them with pills, not only for MI, but the easy solution, like ppl popping sleeping pills everywhere. The basics, the basic part of our life is controlled by the lifestyle that we are expected to have. Did anyone read my previous post where I said 'the price we pay' ?

Let me tell you something personal here, about my recent hiccups on the job. Turns out, I had been self employed all this time, and there had been no contract what so ever. Huge difference to what would be in America for example. It is more than paying under the table or things like that, I knew, I kinda knew, but this stupid aholes didn't even know, even for this small company I was working for, this dictator, a General Manager himself didn't know what sort of deal I and the company had. Ridiculous beyond your imagination, innit?

When I posted some comment on someone else's thread the other day, since I recognize the cultural difference often, I talk about it intentionally. That's just the part of me. This can be said on personal things/traits too, the way see things differ vastly a lot of times. Japanese ppl are STUPID! Including this dickhead right here.

The famous bowing of head, show/sign of respect, well, unless you mean it! I'd rather prefer expressive middle finger over that. You hate me with your gut, now we understand each other. Punch me in the face and we understand each other better, that is my personal belief and as long as I understand it, it is not a crime itself unless I intend/wish to sue.

Freedom in most part of this world are one of the good things that connects us. Land of the freedom and its pitfall? Individualism. Hmm...whatever, man, I love America, it's just everywhere, they dominate most of the internet, does BBC tell me any different? I just don't have enough time, the folks over there are nice, they bring me news and I love that. At the same time, I'm gonna stick it to them, my freedom, I'm obsessed, aren't I?

The last time I visited this Labor Standard Supervision Office and met this officer for help, I told him about my view on freedom and what my wanna be dictator preached. I was crying again, haha. Before I get there, I was standing at this train station, was thinking about what this boss man told me, "even a 17,18 yo kids would understand..." so I grabbed(talked with) a couple of them, taught them and asked them about the human freedom. I also talked to this young lady who was smoking at where she wasn't supposedly smoking, but there was an ashtray there. Weird right? She was a complete stranger, didn't understand half of what I was saying, but I congratulated her for exercising the freedom that we all share. No touchy? I was patting on her shoulder repeatedly, I wouldn't have touched her skin? Not sure.... Even if I don't like certain things done to me, if I don't watch myself all the time responsibly, sometimes it's a bit hard to control.

By the way, I got no point to make in this post. I'm expecting a phone call regarding my job again, I hope it gets done and over with soon. The workers at this shopping mall, I was there yesterday doing grocery shopping, talked to some of them. Thought to myself, I could buy a box of canned coffee for so many nice folks who helped me get through the day while I was there. Killing with/showing my kindness type of things, my company thinks that I'm not allowed to do that, I'm still debating what to do about this, or other foam of RETALIATION!

All they did was making false allegations, they think they can put their thoughts against mine, I'm gonna break his, while I make and try to change other mind, the immediate boss who kindly hired me. I know I know nobody needs saving or I'm not conceited to think that I'm capable.

Being a bipolar(ish) and his career. It is entirely possible that I will become so called untreated bipolar who is homeless or the one in jail cell. This shouldn't happen, and I'll be honest, except the ones that's self-employed, being under employed or doing any sort of work when you have some sort of MI, and they try to fit in sometimes, like they got no choice. That's another skill, it should be included in the curriculum of self mastery that I'm going to achieve this year.

I have a lot of tabs open and the browser is starting to crash often. Better go and read, be done with. Thanks for reading, how ,,,does it look, if you ignore someone? Your page may look cleaner, if you put me on the list. Put me any type of list, so I can feel that I made it! Cheers!

[BlackSheep79]

Made it through another week of work without missing any time. Haven't been sleeping well since I started Prozac. It could be work stress. The weather is bad here in Michigan, so DBSA will probably be cancelled tomorrow, bummer.

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by BlackSheep79

Made it through another week of work without missing any time. Haven't been sleeping well since I started Prozac. It could be work stress. The weather is bad here in Michigan, so DBSA will probably be cancelled tomorrow, bummer.

Bummer, that is a bummer, man!

[gina_re]

Absolutely horrible today. Extremely lonely. My friends say they are there for me me, but everyone has kids, which do (and should) take priority. I'm single, no kids and live alone. So when I need someone here for me for distraction, if you have a family to take care of....?
Maintaining friendships are annoying me. I want to give up. And so I sit here and cry.

[Keegan2015]

Doing pretty well today. Finally got a semi-decent night's sleep (about 5 hours) and woke up feeling like I had a lot of energy so I worked out for a half hour (not much, but I'm just starting to get back into it). Currently chilling in bed enjoying my day off. Busy work week ahead of me though, so I'm not really looking forward to that.