[xxblackrosesxx]

So, my head right now is getting louder and louder with songs playing 24/7 and thinking that someone right next to me is talking to me when really they haven't said anything. I have been up since 5 whatever in the morning and have kept going and going all day. I was out of the house since 9:45am and I got back just after 7pm with still energy left in me. I've done a lot today but it hasn't tired me out and I just had to force feed myself to stay alive and drinking like a goldfish which I usually do drink a lot when I am like this. I have been angry already and this is only just the beginning of a...interesting journey....I only got out of hospital and I don't want to be sent back. I go back to work this Monday coming and I don't want to take more time off sick. But my acute mental health team are telling me not to go to work because of how I am acting right now. I am safe I told them. I agree to disagree with them. That is all.

This may or may have not made any sense what so ever .

So advantages of a manic mind is that I seemly become very active and exercise more. More socialable and having many great ideas/plans for the day so you wont ever get bored. Feeling like you can take on anything and you just jump straight into the deep end of things.

Disadvantages are I end up hearing and seeing things from a lack of sleep, which is frustrating but I just try to ignore it. Uncontrollable anger...it just comes out and you just want to scream and make a scene.

So how to deal with a manic mind?

Originally Posted by xxblackrosesxx

But my acute mental health team are telling me not to go to work because of how I am acting right now.

Listen to your acute mental health team.

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Listen to your acute mental health team.

my parents told me they like to try and disable people and I don't want to be disabled because I've been off work for over a month due to depression now my depression is can and I am HAPPY /

[Toodles333]

Originally Posted by xxblackrosesxx

my parents told me they like to try and disable people and I don't want to be disabled because I've been off work for over a month due to depression now my depression is can and I am HAPPY /

I was signed off exactly a week ago. The Doctor assessing me said he'd had a report from my psychiatrist and he'd concluded my behaviour wouldn't be accepted in the workplace. He didn't elaborate and I didn't ask. Good job I'm self employed.

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by Toodles333

I was signed off exactly a week ago. The Doctor assessing me said he'd had a report from my psychiatrist and he'd concluded my behaviour wouldn't be accepted in the workplace. He didn't elaborate and I didn't ask. Good job I'm self employed.

hmm. to me I am acting ok but my parents, and I hope it was because I was yelling at them and they don't mean it said to go back to hospital wtf.

[xxblackrosesxx]

I will attempt this sleep

[HALLIEBETH87]

I try to channel all my energy into something productive. I color and make collages and craft. I write and I clean. I do things that wont get me into trouble but take time. It doesn't always help but its a start. I understand the radio of songs playing in your head. I get that too. Had it last night. Hope you feel level soon.

[Crazy Hitch]

One day at a time is how I do it

Otherwise I'd be even more crazyyyy than the crazy I already am.

So preparing for the "what needs to be done today" kind of helps.

If I'm that manic.

If this makes sense.

[Moogieotter]

Hi roses,

That's a pretty big zoloft dose. Is it working out ok?

moogs

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

Hi roses,

That's a pretty big zoloft dose. Is it working out ok?

moogs

ever since I've taken the max dose I've been acting like this

Did you doctor recommend that dose?

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

Did you doctor recommend that dose?

yup because I was depressed

[gagrl]

I talk to my friends who understand what I'm going thru and can tolerate my rapid speech. I schedule visits with my counselor if she has cancellations or I call and say it's urgent that I speak with her. I tend to run the streets spending lots of money that I don't have and have gotten myself in financial trouble. I am now working on that. I tend to have short term memory loss because my thoughts come so quickly, I lose track of them so I make lists. Now, I clean out my closet, I organize my apartment, I download new music, I focus on things I like on the computer, I give my debit card to my partner, I wrote emails to two family members being brutally honest about what I was going thru so they knew the truth and I don't drink. Hope that helps! Hang in there! Hugs!

[raspberrytorte]

Yeah, why are you on that much zoloft? If I was on that much zoloft my head would literally explode with happiness.

Maybe you feel manic because of that? Just a thought.

[sorand0m]

Originally Posted by xxblackrosesxx

yup because I was depressed

That's a rather large dose tbh.

Before I was diagnosed with bipolar my GP prescribed me the same antidepressant (I wasn't on a mood stabilizer at this point) and the best comparison I can draw was that it really was like taking speed. That was on 50mg and it blasted me into orbit so fast my head didn't even have chance to spin. Needless to say I won't be taking sertraline again.

Speak with your psychiatrist about it, definitely.

[intergalactictraveler]

Originally Posted by xxblackrosesxx

ever since I've taken the max dose I've been acting like this

Since I ultra rapid cycle, it sounds as if you might be cycling, whether from Zoloft or independent of it. Contact your pdoc. Don't presume anything. Let a pro assess your situation. AD medication can induce rapid cycling.

As for the term 'disabled' I don't like it, either, but I haven't been able to work for four years and unless some genius doctor can figure something out, I'll likely never work again. On Social Security Disability since June, 2011. Be gentle with yourself and your parents.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Nobody can make you go on disability. Vocational rehab shrugged their shoulders and suggested I stop working in 2007 or 2008. I kept right on working until 2011 and when I did apply for SSDI it was helpful that I had that recommendation in my files. But it was my decision (kind of; I was just way too sick to work and I knew it and work knew it so it was kind of mutual) to stop working. I still hate it but it was my call, not anyone else's even though plenty of people certainly could have recommended stopping.

[Shadesofdark]

Get any sleep? I am sorry you are going through a bad time. Remember there are a lot of people here that care what happens to you.

[Nammu]

That's a really good question....I don't think I've ever dealt with mania, it deals with me.

I agree with the above posters you might want to check with the Pdoc about the AD. I can't take them because of the mania they give me but when I was on them I didn't want to stop because I liked mania better than depression.

If they're saying your actions are too much for work do listen to them. It's better not to go than to get in trouble at work.

[Shadesofdark]

Yes, postpone the work if you can and try to see your pdoc as soon as you can, might be as simple as a med adjustment. Hope you are doing a bit better.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I should have said with my comment that LONGTERM disablity is at your discretion. It's good to listen to others about the short-term. I keep reading others' comments and realize my error. Sorry.

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I should have said with my comment that LONGTERM disablity is at your discretion. It's good to listen to others about the short-term. I keep reading others' comments and realize my error. Sorry.

oh it's ok dw about it. I've already been at work and my god its been hard to concentrate but I am glad they made a smart move with me not doing lone work for a while so I am with someone all the time.

[xxblackrosesxx]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Yeah, why are you on that much zoloft? If I was on that much zoloft my head would literally explode with happiness.

Maybe you feel manic because of that? Just a thought.

I really do think it's because of the increased dose and now my mind just feels a bit fried I am relying heavily on Seroquel to knock me out for like 4 hours or something.

[CopperStar]

Yeah I refused to quit working just because of episodes, as well. Then I went crazy and lost my job anyway. I hope this does not happen to you, but try to keep things in perspective. It is normal to desire to be a productive member of society and earn your own money. Most people who have to go on disability do not feel very good about it. But it is better to willfully take a break than to say, completely lose your **** one day at work and get fired.

Try to get some sleep in and don't forget to eat/drink.