[gina_re]

I was so happy this morning. I was socializing and I thought to myself finally. Finally I'm getting better. Two days in a row with out any issues. No more depression. I'm "normal" again. Then it all came crashing down. I'm crying quietly at my desk. I have no idea what I am doing anymore and just staring at the screen confused. Why. Me.

[Wildflower4]

I don't have an answer for you but you aren't alone. I felt great yesterday and then today I was at the vet waiting to pick up my puppy (she was spayed yesterday) and was trying not to cry. I hate this also..

[gina_re]

I know there isn't a definite answer. I'm just frustrated.

[Wildflower4]

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like there was an answer, I just was referring to my inadequate coping/knowledge of how to cope. If there was answer we'd all be alright. I just felt the same way and wanted to reach out. I hope you feel better soon.

[gina_re]

Oh no! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that either.
Thank you for reaching out!

The frustration in some senses is a good thing. It means you want things to be better, and that at very least you are not giving into the depression. Give into that and you act as though you don't care and certainly don't have any fight left.

As to why? Who knows. But it is what it is. Everyone on the planet has some sort of problem that they struggle with. Ours is just a MI. Not the best struggle to have, but better than others that have say cancer.

Don't stop fighting. Accept the bad days will come, ride them out, shut yourself down, do what you have to to get through them, and then try to look forward to the good days, because you know they will come. Almost impossible to do when your head is in the wrong place, but overall you know they will. I might be different as I seem to be rapid cycling for the moment, which means the good days come around pretty often. Two years ago was a very different story, with the depression lasting months on end. But good days did come, and they will for you.

I wish I could practice what I preach, but it's all about accepting the bad days are just part of it, and not beating yourself up or giving up because of them. Sounds good. I am still struggling with it. And the last thing I want to hear is exactly what I have just said. Hang in there is more of a trigger for me than a comfort. I hope it is not for you.

Gee, that was a happy post wasn't it......

xXx

[vjdragonfly]

Keep talking with your pdoc, maybe a med change is in order. It is a rough road to hold, but we all have each other to help us get through. I know psych central has gotten me through the hardest times, times when I could not bear anymore. So keep posting, it helps me to put my feelings to words even though it is near impossible to completely do that. At least here, everyone can pretty much relate. Be gentle with yourself, and like Marsupilami said, it will pass in time

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by gina_re

I was so happy this morning. I was socializing and I thought to myself finally. Finally I'm getting better. Two days in a row with out any issues. No more depression. I'm "normal" again.

bad things happen to good people ... we need to focus on the good while acknowledging the bad ... but remember it's not anything you did or deserve, and you must not let these "bumps" in the road lessen your resolve to be better, maybe even happy ...you deserve no less ...

[boogiesmash]

Hang in there the same has happened to me and everyone at work was wondering why this guy is in tears. The next day I was fine I guess it's the rollercoaster we have to ride. Hope you get out of this rut quick.

[gina_re]

Thank you thank you thank you!!! I'm so happy that you all understand. I finally made an appointment with my T and I see him tomorrow morning for the first time in months. I'll see how that helps and follow up with the pdoc later. At least the Wellbutrin he added a couple of weeks ago keeps me awake during the day, that's a start!

[*Laurie*]

I hope your appointment tomorrow goes well. You are most definitely not alone. I have found Geodon to be the most stabilizing medication I've met in many years. But, I've been on it for only 4 months so we'll see how long this stability lasts...

[LadyShadow]

It happens to the best of us. With bipolar we never know. Meds do work, but its down to us. We have to ride out the bad times to get to the good.