[cashart10]

I've had, I guess I'd say, around a month and a half of stability now. My stability goes beyond just "stable" and into productivity and normalacy. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I was having trouble with my meds, but am now taking Lamictal only. Since stopping my meds and then restarting the Lamictal, my energy level has rapidly increased. I went from laying on the couch about 20 hours a day and sleeping sometimes 15 - 16 hours a day to laying on the couch limited hours a day and sleeping usually 8 - 9 hours a day. I have slowly started going through each room of my house and getting it back to normal and organized, something it hasn't been for about 3 years.

My old sleeping habits (the ones I ALWAYS had, not just manic) of sleeping/waking all night long and sometimes waking at 4 or 5 AM (going to bed at 9 or 10 PM still) have returned. This I will certainly mention to my pdoc today. I have a feeling he will want me back on the Klonapin. My anxiety is still heighted often but this is something I have always dealt with consistently.

One thing I have noticed about my stability is that I come here less often. Or, I will come here, look at the posts, and read nothing. I don't know why and that makes me sad. I love this community and I love all of you. I have felt a smidgen of insecurity about posting which may contribute, but overall, it just seems my PC time is limited to just getting on, reviewing, and logging off. I have also spent less time on social media and ebay. This is the only site that saddens me though. Anyway, it is a blessing to be feeling well! Love to you all! Sarah

[kaliope]

well i am happy you are stable but sorry it means a loss to our community. my thought on this is that PC is a coping skill you utilized when you were not doing well and since you are doing well, well that means you have less of a need for us. so that is a good thing! we wont take it personal....lol keep up the good job!

[DysphoricManicMom]

Its definitely great that you are stable and productive. And also wanted to say I think its a good thing that youre not spending so much time on social media bc it can bea lifesucker!

[HALLIEBETH87]

We'll all be here should you return

[raspberrytorte]

Happy to hear you're feeling better!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Glad you feel better and hope you feel like dropping by and telling us how you are doing from time to time. You add a lot to this group and your thoughts are always welcome. I can't believe you quit that many meds cold turkey and are fine! I guess you really didn't need all of that...

[LettinG0]

So glad you are doing so well.....and being so productive....

Like Beyond said, please drop in and keep us updated......and don't feel insecure about posting........

Hugs!

[Hashi/bipolar mom]

Originally Posted by cashart10

I've had, I guess I'd say, around a month and a half of stability now. My stability goes beyond just "stable" and into productivity and normalacy. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I was having trouble with my meds, but am now taking Lamictal only. Since stopping my meds and then restarting the Lamictal, my energy level has rapidly increased. I went from laying on the couch about 20 hours a day and sleeping sometimes 15 - 16 hours a day to laying on the couch limited hours a day and sleeping usually 8 - 9 hours a day. I have slowly started going through each room of my house and getting it back to normal and organized, something it hasn't been for about 3 years.

My old sleeping habits (the ones I ALWAYS had, not just manic) of sleeping/waking all night long and sometimes waking at 4 or 5 AM (going to bed at 9 or 10 PM still) have returned. This I will certainly mention to my pdoc today. I have a feeling he will want me back on the Klonapin. My anxiety is still heighted often but this is something I have always dealt with consistently.

One thing I have noticed about my stability is that I come here less often. Or, I will come here, look at the posts, and read nothing. I don't know why and that makes me sad. I love this community and I love all of you. I have felt a smidgen of insecurity about posting which may contribute, but overall, it just seems my PC time is limited to just getting on, reviewing, and logging off. I have also spent less time on social media and ebay. This is the only site that saddens me though. Anyway, it is a blessing to be feeling well! Love to you all! Sarah

That is SO amazing! Don't feel guilty at all if it's hard to come here and reminds you of where you were before. I'm happy for anyone who can feel some stability. I'm still looking for that. Hugs.

I stopped half of my meds, and how much better I feel is amazing. I really do think they overmedicate us when it isnt needed in fear of us losing it. Not a way to live life.

I am so happy you are doing better

When I am better I find it a difficult coming here, but I also like to keep updated with how a special few are going.

[Sesiley]

I'm happy you are getting stable too. Whatever makes you happy that doesn't cause destruction! Then you should be just fine....

Ebay shopping a lot could be a manic sign.

Reading a post and nothing goes into your brain...you don't comprehend it? That's difficult...could you have add or adhd?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G750A using Tapatalk

There is a trend in In medicine. Micro doses. My doc cut my anti-d and now she wants to cut lamictal. So i middle out at hypomanic. Which works for me.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Sesiley

I'm happy you are getting stable too. Whatever makes you happy that doesn't cause destruction! Then you should be just fine....

Ebay shopping a lot could be a manic sign.

Reading a post and nothing goes into your brain...you don't comprehend it? That's difficult...could you have add or adhd?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G750A using Tapatalk

Thank you! I am not shopping on Ebay. I am always on Ebay, looking for party ideas, browsing for Christmas presents, killing time. I do shop on there when I am manic but I haven't done it for a while. Aside from the occasional needed item, I don't shop. The reason I've been on Ebay less lately is because I've been productive and away from the computer. It is very satisfying!

I do comprehend what I read. In this case, I don't try to read the posts at all. I just open PC, skim through the posts, and leave, without openeing even one. I'm not sure why that is.

Anyway, I haven't been this well in some time; I'm hoping I will remain so! Thanks again for your concern!

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

There is a trend in In medicine. Micro doses. My doc cut my anti-d and now she wants to cut lamictal. So i middle out at hypomanic. Which works for me.

That's great Valentina! I hope it works out for you! Yesterday my doc, while discussing all these changes, said "You hit our goal, as little meds as possible," then smiled. Even he was relieved! I really didn't know what his goal was because he kept saying he wanted me on as few meds as possible while, at the same time, adding and increasing doses.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by DysphoricManicMom

Its definitely great that you are stable and productive. And also wanted to say I think its a good thing that youre not spending so much time on social media bc it can bea lifesucker!

Thank you! Haha...yes, it surely can be a life sucker. I'm still on there, but in much smaller amounts. I don't feel the need to read and catch up with every single thing on there. I can get on and leave after 5 minutes rather than staying for hours. My focus has just shifted and I think that comes with the loss of a need to be drowned in something besides despair.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Supanova

I stopped half of my meds, and how much better I feel is amazing. I really do think they overmedicate us when it isnt needed in fear of us losing it. Not a way to live life.

I am so happy you are doing better

When I am better I find it a difficult coming here, but I also like to keep updated with how a special few are going.

I very much agree! I know my pdoc does everything he does because he cares and wants to help, and I know he is the doctor, but I think sometimes he can go overboard with my meds. I will not stop coming here (at least that is not my intention), I just wish to continue as an active participant but it seems that will require much more effort than it has ever before.

[cashart10]

Thank you all very much for your support. I saw my doc yesterday and it was a good visit. The only thing he really said was to certainly text him if I felt myself (or if my family noticed) becoming unwell. He did tell me to use the Klonapin for sleep as needed. He said I should try .5 MG but that probably wouldn't work and it would probably take more. He also wanted to see me in 4 weeks. I have been seeing him every 2 weeks for some time (not only because I wasn't well but also because he was helping me financially by saving me 2 visits a month from my pricey therapist). He really noticed I am doing well too.

My sister asked me how I was and when I said well, she said "good, because you really seem like 'Sarah' again." Then yesterday, my husband said "you've really been doing well lately." He was referring to the housework but still, these were very nice compliments. Having others notice helps validate my feelings. Sorry if I am boasting. I don't mean to boast. I have believed I would never see "me" again at all and it seems that is what has happened, no matter how long. I keep asking myself, "am I really well now? Was I really unwell then? Or, was I just lasy and now I'm getting over it? Is it all in my head?" I know that is nonsense and I try to call it as such.

[raspberrytorte]

I was on lamictal and just a benzo for years and it worked out great. I'm happy you feel like yourself again!

This is SUCH good news, cashart!
I'm really happy for you, to see you out from under the burden of that level of over-medication and getting back to your self and your life. This is great stuff (thanks for sharing!). Here's to its hearty continuation!

[Homeira]

Great to hear that you are doing so well! Happy for you Your posts were amazing and honest and real. You wrote your heart out while you were going through such a rough time some months ago. Those posts must have helped so many people, because you described how it feels to go through a really hard time with this illness. I understand that you are more interested in spending your time doing things you have not been well enough to do in a long time. Sometimes it is good to let social media take the backseat for a while.

Really Good news Cashart, I'm happy for you.

Could I ask one question? Since cutting back on two of my medications due to side effects and being on a rather high dose of Lamictal, my rapid cycling and acrophobia has returned which I am having all sorts of difficulties controlling. Are you having similar difficulties?

[wildflowerchild25]

That's really good cash. I feel that when I'm well I don't come here as often either. I spend more time lurking than engaging with conversation. But I know PC is here for me when I need it. I hope you know that too!

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Marsupilami

Really Good news Cashart, I'm happy for you.

Could I ask one question? Since cutting back on two of my medications due to side effects and being on a rather high dose of Lamictal, my rapid cycling and acrophobia has returned which I am having all sorts of difficulties controlling. Are you having similar difficulties?

Thank you, and of course! I currently have PMS (fun, fun). I told my husband tonight that I never realized how much these medications kept my, what used to be fairly extreme, PMS at bay. I have felt constantly irritated by everything and craving and eating sweets like a ravenous beast. I bring this up because I never thought of it returning. It is certainly manageable though as I have not lost self control. Though I have felt myself irritated with my children, I haven't raised my voice at them and I haven't been harsh with them. I just hope it stays that way. PMS I can handle; hormone induced psychosis I cannot.

Also, I have been extremely, extremely productive. When you are laying on a couch all day for months and months, and on and off for several years like I was, this feels wonderful! I have asked myself if my productivity is the result of changes in me or if it is a symptom of my illness. I'm sure I will continue to battle with this question my life. But, I am sleeping fine and (aside from the PMS, ha!) I don't have a temper. Changes in these are my two biggest and most notable signs of an impending mania so I am in the clear for now.

My anxiety is heightened but that doesn't surprise me in the least. My anxiety has never really subsided. It does appear to be worse at times. The other day, for instance, I read something evil, evil on serial killers. I stumbled across it accidentally and read it curiously but stopped not long after I began as it was so disturbing. I know it would have disturbed anyone, but I felt overly dirty by having read parts of it. I felt as though I had done something wrong in reading it and my anxiety over this would not cease. I had an eery sense of impending doom. How could I have read this? Are there really people that evil in this world? This could happen to me and my family too. All of these things came to mind. I can still get worked up about it if I over think it. I even found myself PLEADING with God to "take this fear from me;" something I haven't done in quite some time. It is difficult to manage.

Anyway, for the most part, I can tell a HUGE difference in my functioning and energy levels minus all of the medications. I feel like myself again and my family keeps saying how nice it is to see me this way. I can't even get over how much better things seem to be. Today, I played and danced with my youngest while my other two were at school, I cleaned out and organized my bedroom (major task...I'm still not done). I just don't know who all of this life and energy is coming from!