[sad-panda]

My bipolar diagnosis has been hiding under the radar for me all throughout my teenage life till now. I'm 23 now and it's amazing how someone could go misdiagnosed for so long. I was always diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. The "mania" I'd feel was very mild in comparison to the manic stories I'd hear from others with BP. I did not always feel a "happy" mania, and being diagnosed with narcolepsy too I wasn't super energetic. I had racing thoughts, loud music in my head, anxiety, randomly reaching out to friends I haven't talked to in a while, doing tons of stuff at once. But they were so short lived compared to my depression.

It all make sense now though looking back. Bipolar disorders run in my family. I always thought antidepressants just stopped working after a while for me, but what I was really feeling was "manic switch"- or antidepressant-induced mania. Then I'd go back to a depressed mood again because the antidepressants weren't actually working. We all thought it was dysthymia/treatment resistant depression. Abilify was really helping me but I had to stop due to the severe weight gain.

Right now I am on Lamictal and low dose Lithium. I'm feeling mixed states with this so far, like panic attacks. But I'm hoping at least now this will shed a light on better treatment.

I'm so new to all this...I don't know what to do. I'm still learning about bipolar disorder. I feel really lost. When you were newly diagnosed, what helped you?

Thank you and Im looking forward to hearing your stories too

[BleakGeek]

Welcome to the dark side! You are no lesser of a person! You share an illness with a lot of great minds! Stay strong!!!

[vjdragonfly]

First of all welcome to the forum. When I was diagnosed bipolar it was really hard to swallow at first. The more I thought about it the more things made since. I wasn't diagnosed till I was 31. It explained why anti-depressants would make me a "witch" after a while. My mania was not always happy go lucky, sometimes it was just complete irritability. EVERYTHING would get under my skin and I knew it was the anti-depressant so I would quit taking it. I think the bipolar would explain a LOT of my actions as a teenager.

That said, it helped for me to research it and I could connect the dots. Then there was therapist (who actually was the person to recognized the symptoms and referred me to the pdoc), she helped me learn coping mechanisms. Psych Central helped me just being able to communicate with others with bipolar. It took time, but things fell into place. You c
have come to a good place where I hope you can find comfort.

I found it helpful to attend a bipolar support group early in my recovery. There was a peer support [talk] night and a information topic night. I found i lost interest after a year tho as the topics recycle. I made a lot of good friends thru the groups.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

The website PsychEducation | Treating the Mood Spectrum helped me IMMENSELY. The author of the site has written a book that is the website in book format but the book in older and the website is going to be more up to date at this point. The website was how I finally realized I had bipolar and provided me with so many answers while I was new to this.

I also recommned the Peer to Peer class through NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness), NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness | NAMI: The National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can find classes in your area on the website. The classes are taught by trained people with mental illness and are just about coping with mental illness. I have a degree in psychology, master's in a related field so lots of training there, worked in psychiatric facilities/agencies for most of my career and took it 10 years after I was diagnosed because I needed something to do after a hospitalization where I was very suicidal and I still learned stuff. It's free and at least where I took it they provided pizza and pop at each class and at the end I got a check for gas through some grant.

It does become less overwhelming. It takes some time but it does.

[sad-panda]

Thanks a bunch everyone.

Wow vjdragonfly, and here I thought my diagnosis took forever. It's still hard for me to tell the difference between what were my bipolar symptoms, and what was just me being a moody crazy teenager. I guess getting misdiagnosed isn't so rare.

There's so many stigmas I have to get over too. I'm afraid if I go to a support group, people will either lash out at me or seem interested in becoming my friend but then disappear on me. I had a boyfriend who was bipolar back in high school. He one day just stopped talking to me and I could never get him to speak to me until a year later. Everyone experiences it differently though

[sad-panda]

Thank you for the website BeyondtheRainbow! I've never heard of a Peer to Peer class before!

[fishin fool]

Didnt find out I was bipolar until I was fifty so dont feel bad at all.
I thought it was just depression all my life but when I found out it
was bipolar 2 it all made sense. Chat with you anytime.

[Momofthree0317]

I was diagnosed with adhd as a young teen, then anxiety at 18, finally after 2 years with a psychiatrist I was diagnosed bipolar 1 at age 26. My mom was also bipolar, so I guess u could say I was lucky to have prior knowledge of the illness. Still it is a daily struggle to live with. I am also new to this site, here if u wanna chat

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

Starting around the age of 14, I dealt with a lot of anxiety and depression. I coped with it by self-medicating. I got into a lot of trouble as a teen and was in and out of group homes and foster homes but every time they did a psych evaluation on me, I would lie and say I was fine, that I didn't think of suicide or self-injure, etc. I didn't want to reach out for help. And I've always been a very private person. My parents taught me never to tell what goes on behind closed doors.
When I was diagnosed at 25, I started seeing a psychiatrist because I was depressed and having panic attacks a lot. I didn't know much about bipolar. She put me on some meds and a few months later, I wound up in the hospital. A few months after that, I quit my meds and was in denial about having bipolar.
It wasn't until recently that I was in a manic episode that went from euphoric to dysphoric and I ended up in a mixed state that I sought help and accepted my diagnosis.
My mind was racing, I was paranoid, I would get so irritable and then angry, then it would turn into a full blown rage every single day. I would rage on an on spewing profanities and being completely destructive for hours until I was completely exhausted every day. I wanted to die just to make the thoughts and feelings stop.
What helped me was when I went to a clinic and they referred me to a partial hospital program. I saw a doctor and got on meds right away and I went to this program for five hours every day. They were just group sessions where we learned about dbt, mindfulness, coping skills, etc. My husband has been a help too, being so patient with me. Reading a lot about the illness, and these forums have also been a big help.

[LettinG0]

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 50. Looking back, I had my first cycle when I was about 15. I'm just now getting a good med regimen going and learning self-awareness and self-care. 35 years of untreated BP leaves many stories in its wake and long-lasting damage.

Be grateful that you have been diagnosed.....just take a deep breath and educate yourself. Learn how to take care of yourself and how to be self-aware. While there are as many different opinions about meds as there are people with BP, I personally recommend being compliant with your medication.

I think a lot of us wish we were diagnosed at 23!
I hear you though- I feel like I would have avoided a lot of pain, destruction, and aggravation if I had been diagnosed earlier.
What helped me the most were these forums and reading books about the illness. However- keep in mind that not everyone is the same, and the progression and presentation of bipolar varies. I found that a lot of the books, while informational, were a little depressing. Also, people tend to turn to forums when they are in a bad spot, so sometimes it can seem like having bipolar is the worst thing ever and it's just a constant struggle. That's not the case for everyone. There are plenty of people that are able to find some level of stability. It's not all bad.
Having a good doctor, therapist, and support system do wonders. You are going to be your own best advocate. Do your research and find a med regimine and basic life routine that works for you.
Finally- put a crisis plan in place. Here is a great link:
http://www.namihelps.org/Crisis-Booklet-Adults.pdf

Knowing that I have a plan in place if things start to go wrong makes me feel a lot better. I know who to call, what to do, and if necessary, what hospital I want to go to and what meds I'm willing to take.
Anyway, good luck and welcome to the forum!