My husband and I are contemplating on getting a divorce it's really hard for both of us the fact that I am bipolar and my husband has pretty much checked out I did mess up one time while married then checked myself in to a mental hospital I've been to two hospitals since then and he has his problems too of steroids and drugs like xanx he works a lot we have a kid im really trying but I do want him to be happy and me be happy again you know I know I'll always have bipolar and I will always be taking medication and trying to be the best mom and wife I can I just don't think its gonna work out it breaks me heart to spilt up but I don't blame him I just want to at least be able to have joined custody I'm trying to be as stable as I can be all I can do is pray I already feel horrible for what I did manic before medicated I can't change the past just the future prayers for me please any advice on divorce ? And is it easier to live by yourself when bipolar ?

[Br0k3nW1ng3d]

Praying for you. For me I can't live alone. I am more harm to myself when "unsupervised" however I imagine it would be different if I had a kid to care for. They would be my inspiration to fight

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[BleakGeek]

Originally Posted by Sky101

My husband and I are contemplating on getting a divorce it's really hard for both of us the fact that I am bipolar and my husband has pretty much checked out I did mess up one time while married then checked myself in to a mental hospital I've been to two hospitals since then and he has his problems too of steroids and drugs like xanx he works a lot we have a kid im really trying but I do want him to be happy and me be happy again you know I know I'll always have bipolar and I will always be taking medication and trying to be the best mom and wife I can I just don't think its gonna work out it breaks me heart to spilt up but I don't blame him I just want to at least be able to have joined custody I'm trying to be as stable as I can be all I can do is pray I already feel horrible for what I did manic before medicated I can't change the past just the future prayers for me please any advice on divorce ? And is it easier to live by yourself when bipolar ?

Hi Sky101! Marraige is never easy and when you add a mental illness it is 10 times harder. There are some things that are hard for people to forgive even though you were having a manic episode. I can tell you didn't mean to do whatever you did but it sounds like your husband is having a hard time getting past it. If both sides aren't willing to work it out then divorce is the only option. Divorce can be hard on kids but so can living in an unstable household. Only you can tell whether divorce is the right option.

Anyone with a mental illness needs a support system. If you have a good support system then you shouldn't have an issue living alone. If not I would look to your friends and family for help during those troubled times, assuming you have those. Good luck with everything and I will send prayers your way!

[nowIgetit]

I"m sorry you are going through this, I have been divorced also and it was pretty awful, even though it was very amicable. My ex husband had mental health issues also so us together was kind of a nightmare. Have you sought counseling? Even if it doesn't bring you back together, it can be helpful for you alone to cope with the process, I went for two years (!) after my divorce just to kind of keep things in check. And I wasn't even diagnosed yet, I just knew myself well enough to know that something that stressful would send me spinning into using alcohol and drugs to cope, and wanted to avoid that.

I find it easier to live on my own in a way, I don't have to pretend to feel normal all of the time, and if I want to lay in bed and cry all day I can. That being said, you do need to have a support system as bleakgeek mentioned, so that kind of day doesn't end up being a downward spiral. When I was single, my sister was really good at checking in on me and supporting me when I needed it. I also think it's important to know your own "red flags" if you are going to live alone.

Be kind to yourself. Have a list of healthy coping options, and be sure to check in with your pdoc or a therapist regularly during the process. Hugs.

[fishin fool]

I am bipolar and divorced after a long marriage and three children.
My bipolar played a small roll but in the end we really were never right
for each other. She had little sympathy for my issue and could be very
cold. It was not until I got with my girlfriend that I realized what a cold
relationship my marriage was. My bed was the coldest place in my life
and now it is the warmest. As it should be. The point is that I thought life
was over when we split but I am now with the right person and life is
much better even with the bipolar. I know its easy to say but try not to
see it as the end of the world. Try and see it as a new beginning.

Thanks everyone for their advice and encouragement it helps to know I'm not alone

[newtothis31]

Hugs- my bipolar was not diagnosed until after my ex-husband and I decided to separate. My daughter had just turned three. For a long time, I beat myself up by allowing myself to think, "What if I had been diagnosed sooner- could I have saved my marriage?" For this reason- I delayed filing for divorce for a year to allow myself to adjust to my bipolar diagnosis. When it became apparent that our lives were separate- I then filed.

Divorce is a huge loss. However, I can say a year post official divorce- I've gotton a much better support system in place- far better then what I would have if I stayed married. So focus on your support network.

Hope your husband gets help as well. If you have any custody questions, message me. I've had both 50/50 and full-time custody.