[Azvixxen]

So yesterday afternoon I finally got up the nerve to email my doctor and tell him that my current meds aren't helping completely at the moment, that I am still cycling and have been idealizing suicidal thoughts (with no intention of acting on them).

His response was that we will add Lithium to the mix now. I'm freaked out, I have heard Lithium horror and success stories, but can't even fathom at this point what I will do if it doesn't work. I have hit an all time low, can't control my emotions, and seem to be either angry or crying all the time. Thank goodness I have a door to my office at work or they would pull me out on a stretcher.

Just sharing because my support system is nil - my husband tries but lately he keeps telling me he knows I am looking for someone on the side because that is "what I do" when things get out of control. He isn't wrong that it is something that sometimes happens, but it's usually in a state of mania not depression so now all he is doing is making me hate him. I tried telling him that, but he just says "It's okay, I love you" and I feel like it's so condescending that I want to freaking tear his head off and well...I'll stop there.

[raspberrytorte]

It's good you contacted your pdoc! I was only on lithium for a short period of time because I couldn't tolerate it physically, but I remember it making me feel better mentally. I hope it works for you!

[gayleggg]

Glad you chose to contact your doctor. I'm sorry you are not getting the support from your husband that you need. I hope your doctor can help stabilize you.

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[xxblackrosesxx]

You've made the right decision with contacting your doc . I hope you get through it. I've never been on lithium before but I think it's supposed to be a good med.

[vjdragonfly]

There are probably horror stories with all meds. Lithium was helpful for me, but in the end lamictal worked best. Unfortunately, we never know until we try. I really do hope you have a success story with it and feel better soon. At least you are taking action for your well-being. Best of luck

[Capriciousness]

I never really understand why they don't seem to ever take anything away...always add. I call them pilers. The pilers. You say that those ones aren't working so why not pull one out before adding another....shrug I don't know. I suppose they have their reasoning. I just like the ones who are more conservative.

And big hugs to you. Husbands can just be uuurrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by Capriciousness

Husbands can just be uuurrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh

hay I resemble that ...

Lithium had side effects for me while I was on it, but it pulled me out of a horrible mixed state like no other med ... I'd take it again, if I got that sick. It saved my life.

[WibblyWobbly]

Lithium also pulled me out of a mixed state. It got rid of my suicidal impulses with the first dose. It was unbelievable. I'm pretty attached to it because it saved my life.
p.s. Sorry about your hubs : ( This damn illness is so hard on relationships.

Been on varying doses of lithium for 10 years. Its hell being off it for me. One of the oldest, tried and true meds for bipolar. Hope it works for you. There are side effects for me but nothing so unbearable i had to stop it. Stopping it was a trial by pdoc that proved i needed lithium. Good luck!!!